You are something I can not touch!

This is a very good poem i hwve a special interest for romantic poems especially those which has a bit of complicated emotions into it.in the begining oof the poem ur love is shown as not a devine emotion but a phixsical intimacy.u hold very good points of young love of hot blood.but at theend u say u cannotrouch urloveas sge is not a rhing or a being.is that u have personified shapeless nontangible love or ur belovet is a spiritual being.has it any superatural presene slightly available

I loved reading this. Because we've all been here, in a place where someone we want is so close and yet so far away, and no matter how hard we try they'll never be anything but distant. It's relateable. I like that.

I found it interesting that you stated the other person (?) in the poem is not an object or a thing yet. Personally this line was too direct for my liking, but at the same time, it does open the poem up to greater interpretation by the reader, which is always nice.

I like the use of the exclamation point on the first line but would end it with a period on the last. I know someone else touched on this but I thought I'd mention it because I do think the first exclamation point is warranted. It gives a little more emphasis to the opening line of your poem, and caught my eye right away because generally I am not a fan of exclamation points in writing.

The only thing that read as off to me was the difference in tenses between "Slowly, to make you shudder." and "Even if that made you shiver." I feel like maybe finding a united tense between these lines would bring a bit more fluidity but it certainly isn't necessary.

For the record, I liked the word choice of "fondle." "Caress" or "stroke" feels more intimate, which is maybe not quite fitting with the overall idea of the poem.

This was a good read, I liked it! I'm envious of your ability to write condensed poetry like this, I wish I could!

Would love to read more from you.

-Cairo

Hey there,
I think the poem overall flows extremely well. However, some of your word choices could of have been more powerful. For an example, when you say:
"I can fondle your silken skin,"
The use of imagery is great, but I feel as though the usage of the word, "caress," or "stroke," would have been a better choice for that line.
Although this is personal preference, I would find it more powerful to use a period rather than an exclamation point. "You are something I can not touch." makes the writing seem more sincere.
But I really enjoyed this poem and I look forward to reading more of your work. I can truly feel the emotion you are spilling onto the pages.

Hi there,

This was interesting. Congratulations on writing it - poetry has always been really difficult to me and I was invested while reading this. It's centered around a good topic. The narrator is in love, but by someone or something they cannot have.

And you do a good job of setting this up, but I was a little disappointed at the end when there wasn't any kind of resolution. I want to know more! What is the narrator talking about? Why can't he have it? Give us something that will bring the story full circle.

I also just want to briefly point out the construction of this poem in general. You don't need to capitalize every line and punctuate it - it makes this poem come across as a little bit juvenile, especially with the lines that end in exclamation marks. You don't need to have it there, and in fact it detracts a bit. I would also recommend reading this aloud - some lines are a little bit clunky.

But overall, good job with this and good luck! Let me know if you have any questions.

Best,
Elinor