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138,220 Literary Works • 672,084 Reviews
Hello,
I agree with both of them. It's a very nice poem that doesn't need critiquing.
After reading it, I went back and read the spoiler. I sort of see what you're saying about sin and addictions, but it isn't a strong theme. I actually prefer that. I wouldn't want it to overwhelm the poem.
MM
Hi there!
The poem flows well, it rhymes pretty well, and you're concept has gotten through well. I don't think there are any nit-picks to be pointed out, like what Noelle said. Although, I don't think you would need it! This is an amazing poem! Awesome job and keep it up! 
Wow. You used a very intermidiate set of vocabulary here.
- gleek456 <3
Hi there!
I really enjoyed this poem. It flows really well and sticks to the point you're trying to get across. There's great illiteration and rhyme. I don't have any criticisms, so here's another complaiment:
I love this line. The alliteration is great!
Overall this is a great poem. I liked it! Keep writing!