alexandria burned.
you were the smoky scrolls
that only exist in the air their authors used to breathe.
we lost so much knowledge, progress, innovation,
but you weren’t ready to be known by the modern world.
the air as old as time is the hearer of all names
who are bated breath; the drags of a cigarette.
names that poison us alive as we keep them in.
i kept you in the worst corner of my trachea,
keeping you close to my chest,
killing myself to keep the sanctity of a secret knowledge.
my insides tried to make their escape from my mouth
(because i refused to spit out your name)
until i spoke of you in the slowest of breaths
so the wind could carry your mist.
i was the last one who knew
what was lost in alexandria.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hello, My Friend!
Hiya, FireEyes! For context, I was scrolling through the "Oldest Works" section of the Green Room when I stumbled upon this hidden gem. I thought I'd give it the attention it deserves with a quick review. Hope you don't mind!
To start, woooow, this is amazing! From what I understand, this poem takes that mystical, mysterious air associated with Alexandria and its lost wisdom, and uses it as a metaphor for someone in your life. Someone who was once cherished and revered, but needed to be let go for whatever reason...
*ahem* As far as a technical review goes, I don't really have anything to recommend for change here. Maybe it could benefit from capitalizing the 'I's and 'Alexandria'? But I digress, that's like a tiny nitpick. This poem looks great as-is!
Now, favorite lines and parts, hmmm...I would probably have to point to:
I love how, right off the bat, you drew the comparison of this person to the smoldering scrolls of Alexandria. A prized artifact, wisdom and love put into its content, but now too much of a risk to the beholder to treasure...Ah, this is a great metaphor.
This ending—oh, my gosh, chills! The visual this paints is so beautiful and sorrowful, finally letting out that smoke-filled breath and all the weight it carries. And the way you say that, "I was the last one who knew, what was lost in Alexandria"...Love, love, love that.
Overall, that was a beautifully-written poem, I'm shocked it's been in the GR this long! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."
D*MN. This wrenched out something I didn't know was hidden in me. Genuinely feel like every line is to be savored, feel like burning this onto my eyelids. I can't seem to make up my mind if this a love letter to someone who was lost to you or a goodbye to someone who is gone forever from the world.
"that only exist in the air their authors used to breathe." Like 'you' exists now only in the form of a memory in the hearts of others.
"i kept you in the worst corner of my trachea,
keeping you close to my chest," The only medicine you can take is the one that ends up killing you sorta thing.
"killing myself to keep the sanctity of a secret knowledge.
my insides tried to make their escape from my mouth
(because i refused to spit out your name)" Bro are you okay.
I genuinely want to sit right here, right now and make a comprehensive summary of each line, each work and analyze it till every obscurity makes a place in my heart. Like the more I read it, the more I find to break down because it seems so personal, gut-wrenchingly intimate.
This is so amazinggg like WOW. Gonna go now and read more of your works because this is the medicine that kills me.
Amazing work <3333