Life is but a roller coaster,
With its twists and turns,
Its bumps and hills.
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Starts off slow
While tension builds,
Life takes a second to pause and think,
Before thrusting you into the unknown in a blink.
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Tears of joy or sadness,
With every twist or turn,
Each obstacle - you will overcome
Each one - brings you closer.
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As you approach the dark cave that you once came from,
With nothing to keep but the experience you've had,
We realise life is but a roller coaster,
And like a roller coaster -
It must come to an end.
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140,213 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Hi, Anice here for review ^_^
The poem was a nice read. Thanks for sharing! "Life's a Roller coaster" is quit a common sentiment among many. Whenever anything shocking or bewildering happens, there's always this sentence showing up.
Despite the size, the imagery and sentiments attached to it appeared heartfelt. I could continuously imagine the pace. And the little depth at the end by insinuating to an end to all the happy, sad hours of life made it more memorable. The words are appropriate and nicely put, the structure adding up to it all.
The thing that came to my mind while reading it was that the theme was detached and impersonal. There is hardship, the pain of living, but the expressions weren't enough to make it much more than simply words said.
It may be your kind of thing choosing themes like this but it's always recommended that themes should at some point derive from life or carry some piece of self to be able to become a piece relatable by the lots. Artist creates thing by carving and tracing himself in his arts. The detachment from the narrative is appreciable but when there is detachment from the theme of the art, there the words become just simple words and statements.
It would be amazing if you could add something much more relatable to it all. Once again thank you for sharing your work and have a nice day!
Hey Fibarrel!
Liberty500 is here to drop of a review for you! That's a lovely poem you've got there! The theme is quite similar t a poem I've posted on YWS. If you wanna check it out anytime, go ahead and give it a review too if you want. It's called: Life: Spider Web.
Anyways, onto the review. Hmm, I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes. But, there are two hings that kinda bugged me. So, the first thing is, in the title of the poem you wrote 'rollercoaster' together. But, then, in the poem itself you separated 'roller coaster' like it's supposed to be. Also, in this line: "Its bumps and Hills." the word 'Hills' does not need to be capitalized.
That's it!
Keep on writing!
~Liberty500
Thanks for the review. I've fixed my mistakes to make it more enjoyable for the other readers
Your welcome!
Before commenting, I added lines because it did not let me separate the stanzas. Sorry for the inconvenience.
No problem!