I hate you so much,
The words have lost their meaning.
When I talk to you,
I don't know what to say.
You don't care to listen.
You don't care to see me cry;
Screaming, shouting,
Praying for you to like me.
You don't listen to my pleas.
Hiding in my room,
Where it is room for me to speak,
Where the words you didn't let me say
Can be said.
Without you interrupting me,
Without you always believing you are right,
Without you deciding "It's over, I've won.",
Without pushing me behind.
But then someone, suddenly,
Pushes us to an end.
Makes us forget all about it,
Pushes it into the trash,
Which is already so full
Of all the forgotten memories.
Fighting, hitting,
Ruining.
I don't want that to happen again.
I don't want it to be pushed down into the trash,
Easily forgotten.
I want him to see, to feel,
All the things I have felt in my life,
And maybe then he'll understand.
How completely worthless,
Tired, hopeless,
And even suicidal,
He's made me feel.
How I think I'm the best friend,
Of my own life,
That I can be repleaced.
How I think I'm the reason.
The reason that everyone has such miserable lives.
How I want to die,
To save everyone.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Scarred here for a review!
Alright, first things first! I definitely felt the emotion exploding from this poem. It seems like this poem was written from the heart about a true experience. If this event unfortunately happened to you, I am truly sorry. It is an amazing work of art. Art doesn’t necessarily have to be a painting, keep that in mind haha. Writing is also an art. An is a way for the artist to express themselves and portray emotions that are hard to explain. In this particular piece of art, i think you have done a fantastic job of doing just that. I have been through something similar, though not with a significant other. I understand though.
However, I did notice there was a typo.
“Repleaced” should be “replaced”
Simple mistake, it could have happened to anybody.
Scarred here for a review!
Alright, first things first! I definitely felt the emotion exploding from this poem. It seems like this poem was written from the heart about a true experience. If this event unfortunately happened to you, I am truly sorry. It is an amazing work of art. Art doesn’t necessarily have to be a painting, keep that in mind haha. Writing is also an art. An is a way for the artist to express themselves and portray emotions that are hard to explain. In this particular piece of art, i think you have done a fantastic job of doing just that. I have been through something similar, though not with a significant other. I understand though.
However, I did notice there was a typo.
“Repleaced” should be “replaced”
Simple mistake, it could have happened to anybody.
Accidentally replied twice
Nah, that's fine. Thanks for reviewing! I've actually noticed the mistake, I've just not bothered to change it yet, actually. Again, thanks!
I felt the sadness in this poem, and I pictured something from it that connects to my love life with a girl I once knew. This poem reminds me so much of her. Nice poem my friend. I like the way you have expressed yourself in your poem. Great job. The ending part is also interesting. But one thing I discovered was that, the poem is lengthy and I almost got tired while reading, maybe it is because I dont like long poems. But great job though. Never stop writing my friend
Thanks. Yeah, some people are different. If you scroll down a little, there's one person that says they like long poems. People are different, but there's nothing wrong with that
Hello darling!
Sad about your B.
bla bla bla bla bla bla.....
Oh Wait, I can just write in norwegian!!
Bla bla bla...
trist at du føler sånn, IKKE ENGANG TENK PÅ Å BEGÅ SELVMORD!!!!!!!
dette er trist:(
husk at jeg alltid er der for deg (unlike your brother:))
veldig fint skrevet dikt, selv om du stadig sier at du ikke liker å skrive dem...
Hope things work out:)
MASSE KLEMMER *send´s a lot of hugs
hilsen din kjære oda<3<3<3
<3 Love u!
*Hugs back*
Hi, Shikora here with a review for you.
So let's get to it.
As I read your poem I did see one small mistake, it's just a spelling mistake so it can be fixed.
The word in bold you spell like this, replaced.
But other then that this poem was really good. I really like the emotion you put in this poem, it kept me reading until the end, which is really good. Even the name had so much meaning in it.
Your punctuation in this poem is really good, I didn't see anything wrong with that.
I can tell you it was nice to read a long poem, it has been a wile. It let me dwell in that little world for a wile longer.
It was nice to get hooked by your poem, i like it when that happens.
Well that's all form me for now, I really liked reading and reviewing your lovely poem, and I hope to see you post more of your works on YWS really soon, because I loved reading you work. never stop writing and have a great day/night.
You friend
Shikora.
Thanks for reading, and for the review!
Your welcome, I'm glad I could help.
Hello Fantascifi66!
This seems like a very sad poem. Is this true? Well, if it is then feel free to PM me any time!
~Liberty500
Yes. It's true.
I've felt this way before, an amazing poem! I agree with Liberty, feel free to PM anytime!
Thanks.