Ace (That You Threw Away)

Hiya there Falling! I think this is a really great song, it has a country feel to it, which I guess isn't bad, maybe that's what you intended. I like the references to a deck of cards because I don't think it has been done for a while.
I did find it a little tough to find a tune because it seems a bit of a mouthful in some places.
It should be pretty easy to just skim over it and decide which words you could simply do without.
My favourite part is what I think is the second Verse. I really like what you had going there. I do think that you should specify all your choruses and verses so that it's a bit easier for us to read.
So all in all, great song and I would love to hear it!! Skye xx

Hi there, Gracie.

You've got some good stuff going on here in these lyrics, and some stuff that needs work.

I'm glad you chose to put this piece in the lyrics section; I always thought that your poems were more suited to music than they were to stand alone.

I really like the metaphor of the ace of cards, though it did take me a little bit to get that. If you're going to mention "games" in the first stanza, I suggest, since you liken yourself to a card later, that you make the games more specific. Perhaps you could even play on "go fish" as in fishing for people, or trying to lure people in as part of the game. I think that would be interesting. As it is, the first bit is a little too general. The devil's in the details, you know.

I like the chorus, though I think you should format it to just say "chorus" above the first time you put the chorus there, and when you want the chorus to be repeated, you should just put "(chorus)". Just a formatting nitpick.

I think you should reconsider your rhyme scheme a little. Perhaps have every other line rhyme. As it is, some of your rhymes sound rather forced, and I think that the seriousness of your song would benefit from less rhyming. Sometimes I find that with too much rhyming, it distracts me from the serious tone of the poem. This is obviously very serious, but some of the rhymes distract me from that.

Another thing I would try to do with this is to make the numbers of syllables in each line more similar to each other. In lyrics, it's easier to work with lyrics that have more or less the same number of syllables in each line. For example, in Amazing Grace, the syllables for each line in the first verse have 8, 6, 8, and 6 syllables respectively. I think a pattern in the number of syllables in each of your lines would benefit the rhythm of this piece.

Good job on focusing on one metaphor and focusing on it throughout almost the whole poem (make sure you focus on it more in the first stanza). I hope this review was helpful! Happy writing!

These are very cool lyrics! Well done for it.
I believe this is about a GF and BF? I think it's the BF thinking he's been used by the GF. I also believe that the BF is referring to himself as an ace. Tell me if I'm wrong, but that's what I got out of your very well written piece! The creativity is amazing and well thought out. The rhythm and rhyming work really well. Your chorus is clearly placed and easy to grab, which is important, so bravo for that! Some of the lines are a little wordy, but that's it!
Again, well done!
Peregrine

Hello... I'd like to take the time to say, excellent job here! I really liked this work about an ace of cards. The idea was creative and most of the time, the words flowed well. The use of rhyming also added to it as well. I must also commend you for the ending. It was strong, it made sense and it almost left me wanting more. I only have a few suggestions regarding the use of the "I can't believe". I feel like this took away from your work. Try making it sound a bit stronger than that.

There were things that could have been written better, but overall, it was a good read in which my suggestions were only minor.