I often think on these lonely nights.

Hi! I'm here to write a quick review for you!

I love the idea of the piece. I think its a strong one, and the title really pulled me in. However I do have a few critiques.

I think that this poem would benefit strongly if you repeated some part of the poem. I think that if you put "I often think on these lonely nights" between each other stanza, the piece would benefit from it. Usually I'm not all for repeating 1 line, but in this case I think it would be good.

I also think that you need a bit more imagery in the poem. Show us what happened, don't just tell us. I wanna be able to feel the heartbreak and the hopelessness. I wanna feel like I'm blind to this other person. Make those emotional connection, and the poem will be even better than it already is.

Hope this helped a bit! Can't wait to see what else you write! Good luck!

-E

Hello!

A really nice attempt at rhyming couplets. My one piece of advice would be research and understand 'foot'. 'Foot' is basically how syllables work in poetry, and in most works, especially before the 19th century, you will find that number and rhythm (or meter) of these syllables is uniform throughout. This holds the poem together and provides a momentum that carries your poetry forward. Experiment with iambic pentameter (by far the most common foot) and move forwards from there. The advantage of this meter will be that your poems will feel less disjointed. Furthermore, learning these literary terms and being able to apply them will greatly strengthen your understanding of poetry in general, as well strengthening your poetical ability (as squeezing your thoughts into pre-prescribed patterns can be really challenging).

This is a quick attempt at your third stanza in iambic pentameter. Notice how by expanding the lines you are almost almost forced to think creatively. The act of counting your syllables and racking your brains to find something that fits often produces something different that you would not have thought of before. Also notice how this feels less disjointed and how as you read it you can hear how rhythmically the words fit. (I mean you might not I spent 60 seconds on it, but the point still stands).

I desperately miss all those kisses,
And now that our future is fictitious-
All these thoughts whirl wildly around my mind;
Tormented by the fact I was so blind.

However, despite these improvements I really appreciate that you poured your heart into this and I look forward to seeing your experimentations with 'foot'.

Hello! Irid here with a review.

So reading this I was quite intrigued. This isn't really that bad, I will say. It's a very simple four stanza poem.

I noticed a couple things in this that I would like to point out, although. You have an A-A-B-B rhyme scheme, yet in your first stanza, you broke that rhyme scheme. Now, it's understandable because I don't even think I could find a word that rhymes with "cigarettes," but you could possibly use different work choices, if that works for you. c:

In your third stanza, I liked how cohesive "kisses" and "fictitious" rhymed, and it works really well! Yet most of the lines are short and sweet and "fictitious" kind of seems like a mouthful, to me at least.

When you're writing these poems, ask yourself, "How an I going to get my point across?" In poetry, you want to show, through vivid imagery. I've noticed with poems about romance, you want to pour your heart out because this is how you feel about another person. Just my take on that.

Overall, it's not bad! Just remember to show, more so than tell. I hope to seem more poems from you! Thank you for the read!

-Iridescence