Going Home
Verse:
Think I’m lying on concrete
Greasy hair and frozen feet
Everybody is asleep
Or are they dead and gone?
Chorus:
So I’m going home now
If I could remember where that was
Oh well, in the light from the street lamps
Everything is beautiful
Verse:
A wreck of a car
Bruises and future scars
The air, so cold and harsh
Or am I dead and gone?
Chorus:
I want to go home now
If I could remember where that was
Oh well, in the light from the street lamps
Everything is beautiful
Bridge:
Oh there’s always a poetic side to misery
Even If I’m dead and gone
My corpse will smell so bittersweet
Chorus:
I want to go home now
If I could remember where that was
Oh well, in the light from the street lamps
Everything is beautiful
Chorus:
I want to go home now
If I could remember where that was
Oh well, in the light from the street lamps
Everything is beautiful
But where is my home?
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Canary word: Present
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137,733 Literary Works • 672,068 Reviews
I like it I think it has a feeling, that's what I like about it.
Hey, Knight Teen of the Green Room Knights here to give you a review.
At first glance, this is really good. The verses are all pretty even (it doesn't really matter if they are or not, but in my personal opinion it's better when they are).
Now, since in these types of literary work punctuation doesn't matter, I'm going to skip that.
Your grammar is very good though.
The lyrics are beautiful, well written. I confess that they make me think of a homeless person or someone who has just been evicted and has no where to go. On the other hand, I can kind of see this referring to a lost or kidnapped child. (I have a wild imagination.)
Now, I don't really think that you need to tell us every time you switch styles. (I really don't know what to call them, so I just went with that word.)
Letting us know where the verses and bridge are is fine, but after the first time you really don't need to headlight the "chorus" again. We know what it is. It's just a little unnecessary.
But, if you want to keep it that way, that's fine. I'm only suggesting.
Anyways, I liked this a lot. Happy writing!
Thank you for the review:)
This song is really touching, and the main features that give it this feel are cleverly repeated in the chorus. This song untaps a feeling best summed up with the quote "My name is Mina and I love the night. Everything seems possible at night, when the rest of the world has gone to sleep." This is from My name is Mina by David Almond. Also a point that adds to this half magic half dream appeal is in it's inconclusivness, like a dreams cut of half way through. Marvelous.
Take that you fiend!
Thank you