Verse:
Here are the pictures and the videos.
Here are the remains of a long time ago.
Here is a girl that we forgot about.
Never listened to her talk, so she learned to shout.
Here are the pictures and the videos.
Makes you remember a long time ago.
Who was she then and who were you?
Can you go back and see what she has gone through?
Chorus:
And here is a gallery.
Close your eyes or be prepared to see.
Here are all the people that you know.
Do you recognize yourself from that long time ago?
Verse:
Nobody noticed the wonder of time.
How it takes everything nice and fine.
It twists and turns your sweet illusions.
And you wake up covered in bruises.
Nobody noticed the boys and the girls.
That with time had to notice the world.
And how it changed from what they had known.
It’s different from all the pictures and all the videos.
Chorus:
And here is a gallery.
Close your eyes or be prepared to see.
Here are all the people that you know.
Do you recognize yourself from that long time ago?
And here is your gallery.
Close your eyes or be prepared to see.
Is this the girl that you know, my dear?
Do you still shout when nobody hears?
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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140,210 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Hello EmilieHaugaard,
I'm RavenLords with a review for the Epic Ice Cream Warriors of Pluto.
First of all I must say I loved the flow and the Style. The music doesn't get caught up in your throat when you say it.
I must say that I though it was rather short. There was 2 verses and 2 Chorus's. but I myself would have had 3-4 verses and 2-3 Chorus's.
I thought that other than that is was awesome. You made the title fit in very well with the song, and you weren't changing subjects.
It was really good, just a few things to work on. This song didn't wast my time reading it like most songs.
Enjoyed it a lot!
RavenLords
Hi there, Squire Wolf here to review.
I don't normally review lyrics, so I apologise if I don't help you as much as you like.
This song flows, and when I say it aloud, nothing seems awkward on the tongue. This, particularly for a song, is incredibly important, so congratulations here.
I noticed a few grammatical errors. On the second verse, for example, you say "picture" and not "pictures". There is another one on the last line, it should be "hears" not "hear".
I love how you use repetition, and also how you have kept in consistent throughout. It really exaggerates the point of the song.
My favourite verse has to be the chorus, the way you don't actually mention the song title, but how it is still on there.
Well done!
Thank you for the useful review
Hello! This is my first review on here, so I hope I do good!
Alright. First things first, I really like this. It's not too long, and it has a really interesting message, or at least the message that I get from it.
I am a little confused on a couple of the parts, when it says
"Who were she then"
It'd best be
"Who was she then".
Also,
"It twists and turns you sweet illusions"
It'd probably be better as
"It twists and turns you into sweet illusions."
Or
"It twists and turns reality into sweet illusions." Or maybe "everything" instead of reality. I'm not sure. It just seemed that you forgot about putting a word there.
Thirdly,
"And how it changed from what they know"
Doesn't have the same tense, so you should either make both past, like,
"And how it changed from what they knew"
Or maybe,
"And how it had changed from what they knew."
Or something like that.
Lastly,
"Do you shout when nobody hear?"
Should be,
"Do you still shout when nobody can hear?"
Or maybe something close to that.
I really liked your song. It's a lot different than other things out there. I'm gonna go see after I finish this up if you have any other works to look at. X)
Have a nice day, and hope that I did alright reviewing your song!
Thank you for the review, it was very helpful
Don't mention it. I'm glad that it was helpful! X)