Miranda sighed as she walked onto school grounds. Her last year of high school. What a mixed emotion she felt. She was glad to finally be rid of this place of homework and tests, but at the same time, she was upset she’d be leaving all her favorite teachers and friends behind. She stood beside the entrance to the school. Miranda had signed up to be a part of the “buddy system”. Essentially, she was to be the “buddy” of a new student in school. Her partner, as described to her, had pale skin and black hair. He is a junior, and he is sixteen years of age. His name is Kai Panth. It said that he is 5’4’’ and has a skinny figure. Something that Miranda found strange was that they never mentioned the male’s eye color. Soon, she saw him. The black-haired, pale-skinned, skinny, short male. He wore blue jeans with black sneakers, accompanied with a light-grey sweatshirt that went down to his mid-thigh and a black beanie. He was looking around with amber eyes, and it could be assumed that he was looking for Miranda. In a way, he kinda looked like Hayden. The same messy black hair; the same clothing style; the same pale skin. It was almost frightening. Miranda nervously walked up to Kai.
“Are you Kai?”
The boy looked up at Miranda. His eyes were wide, almost as if he were afraid. He looked to the side and nodded slowly, not speaking. Miranda took a deep breath and began to do exactly what she signed up to do.
“Well, I’m Miranda, Miranda Kindle. I’ll be your school buddy for the first weeks of school until you feel comfortable.”
Kai looked back up at Miranda and nodded slowly. He looked down and chewed his lower lip nervously. He flinched whenever students passing by were loud, and he’d pull his beanie further down over his head. The only pieces of hair visible were his bangs.
“Let’s get inside before the bell rings. I’ll be showing you to your classes and helping you settle into the new school environment.”
Kai nodded again. He watched as Miranda turned and started walking towards the school entrance; he followed close behind, keeping her in sight so he wouldn’t get lost. Once inside the school, the male seemed to whimper. It was loud in the hallways; he kept tugging at the ends of the beanie. Miranda mentally took note of this. She gently took hold of his wrist so he wouldn’t get lost in the crowded hallways. Kai flinched at the contact and looked at Miranda to find her giving him a comforting gaze. She began walking towards their first class. This was a mixed class, meaning that there were students in grades ranging from nine through twelve in this class. Miranda brought Kai to a seat and sat beside him, giving him another comforting smile. Kai folded his hands in his lap, staring down at them as he fumbled with his fingers. He looked like a nervous wreck. Miranda reached over and gently patted his shoulder.
“It’ll be alright. This school is very friendly.”
Of course, she personally knew that the school could be harsh and unforgiving. Though, it’d be unwise of her to inform a nervous new student about this. So, she kept quiet. Kai nodded slowly, shyly, then looked down again. He stayed like this until class started while Miranda conversed with her friends. When the bell rung, Miranda sat down at her seat and sat up, listening.
Class went by slowly. The teacher passed out a class syllabus for students to take home and get signed. This was an art class; specifically, it was a drawing and watercolor class. After the class was over, Kai stood and packed up. Miranda was already ready to leave. She spoke with her friends while she waited for Kai.
The day went by on a repetitive routine. Miranda dropped Kai off at his classes, then went to her classes. Then, she’d pick him up from his class and drop him off at the next. Soon, it was time for lunch. Miranda brought Kai to the cafeteria.
“Are you going to buy lunch?”
Kai shook his head slowly and tugged at the bottom of his beanie again. Miranda nodded slowly and asked.
“Did you pack a lunch?”
Kai shook his head again.
“Are you going to eat?”
Miranda received another shake of the head. She shrugged slightly. She couldn’t make him eat if he didn’t want to. Miranda had Kai sit with her at lunch. Though, he stayed quiet as she spoke with her friends. When lunch was almost over, one of Miranda’s friends pointed out that Kai was no longer there. To her surprise, Miranda looked beside her and saw the seat empty. She stood, gathered her things, threw out her trash, and then went to look for Kai. She couldn’t find him on the first floor, the second, or the third. There was one floor left. The roof. When Miranda came onto the roof, she saw Kai sitting on the edge of the building. He was looking out at the courtyard, but his head turned when the door opened. Miranda could have sworn she saw blue in his eyes, but looking at them now, she saw amber. She thought that it must be her imagination. Miranda quickly walked over to Kai and sat down beside him.
“Hey… You shouldn’t run off like that without telling me. I’m supposed to keep an eye on you until you get used to everything.”
Kai nodded slowly, and for the first time, Miranda heard him speak. His voice was smooth, but it was so quiet that she could barely make out what he said. He looked down when he spoke, like he was embarrassed.
“S-Sorry… But… It’s n-nice up here…”
He looked out at the courtyard again. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Miranda stood up slowly.
“We have to get back in. The bell is about to ring.”
Kai nodded and took his school bag; he put it on his back, stood up, and looked at Miranda.
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is there going to be more. i need to know what happen. i glade its not so sad. i really hope thing work out for hr in the long run. i hope thing her better. i love this book i hope you post more soon. this is amazing. im going to get my friend to read it too. she would love it. i really cant wait to see if there is going to be more. i really like how miranda is so kind. i wounder is Kai is Hayders brother. you did a really god job. keep up the good work. i cant wait to see what else you post. thank you for the book cant wait ti hear more
I liked the change tone, it was nice to have a break after the three depressing chapters. While I felt you did a really good job digging into the characterization of the new character Kai, since Miranda is the main character I feel like a little more digging into her character each chapter would help the story out a lot. I also feel like a little more connecting to the past chapters feels needed since it's very different to what happened before, but I'm sure that all comes later along with the whole deal that Hayden meant. Overall I felt the balance of this chapter between the dialogue and description was really nice and made for a really easy read but it's a little bland compared to the other chapters. I can't wait to find out what we've all been waiting for a figure out what's up with Kai though! Cant wait for the next chapter!
EverLight here with a review. This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned- you may feel offended anyway.
First Impression
Nice
Nitpicks & Grammar
You only have two nitpicks starting with this sentence-
You can remove the comma by the word spoke.
Next, I'll deal with this sentence-
The words school and bag could be combined.
Style & Flow
Again, try to get us a little more in to Miranda's head, and maybe offer a little internal dialogue? Other then that I think you did okay.
EverLight Out
Hello! Great change of paths here! I'm still anxious to hear of Miranda finding out what "deal" Hayden got involved in, but in the meantime, this change of scenery gives some fresh, new thoughts that also capture my interest.
I really liked how you introduced Kai as a sort of second chance for Miranda. I'm already foreseeing where this is headed, and I like it.
There is still little dialogue. With so few characters in the main spotlight, it kind of makes sense. However, it would still be nice if you showed us more of Miranda's thoughts rather than just telling them. Show us her emotional reactions. Does she go pale or gasp or gulp when she sees a likeness to Hayden in the new student? Does seeing his black hair and pale skin cause her heart to beat faster, her hands to go clammy? I noticed you did mention that it was almost frightening. That's a good element there. Perhaps you could give us more of her internal dialogue since there are very few other characters for her to converse with.
Well, that's all for now. Keep up the good work!