Gone For Infinity

by EmeraldEyes

Published March 10, 2014

12+

In Old Works

They’re gone

Like the foul smell they were

Nothing we’ll miss

But they linger

Don’t they hunny?

-

Hold your nose

In full repose

You’re so ramose

Let me propose

-

Shoot them all

And not yourself

Far too important

Love thyself

Not by my hand

-

Hold your nose

In full repose

You’re so ramose

Let me propose

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Ardor
Review
Ardor wrote a review Review · Mar 12, 2014

Hello once again! This is 567ajt, here to review this smashing poem. :) As with your other works, most notably Sin Again, a dark tone is being invoked. It is also rather grey, but that isn't a bad thing. We all love a bit of doom and gloom :D

They’re gone

Like the foul smell they were

Nothing we’ll miss

But they linger

Don’t they hunny?


The enemies of these two people, the narrator and their "hunny", have been eliminated. They have either been killed or symbolically cast aside. However, their actions and words- the smell that "lingers"- will not go away so easily. In fact it suggests that it won't ever go away, the damage being done to an alarming degree. The rhetorical question "don't they hunny?" adds to a sense of conversation.

Hold your nose

In full repose

You’re so ramose

Let me propose


I love the use of language in this stanza. It creates an image of the narrator, by their "hunny's" death bed, in their final closing moments. The word repose means to rest, so I can only assume that to "hold your nose" suggests to kill one's self (a comment on euthanasia?). Maybe it could be symbolic of piece and eventual passing. Now, I like the clever use of "ramose", which either means to "branch" (i.e. cling) to something, or it could be a reference to Ancient Egyptian mythology regarding the Tomb of Ramose. This could tie in with the idea of death. The addition of "let me propose" could be the narrator taking matters into their hands, and deciding what is best for their "hunny".

Shoot them all

And not yourself

Far too important

Love thyself

Not by my hand


However, this stanza contradicts my previous interpretation, as the narrator instead wants an attack on "them", as opposed to "yourself", which suggests that they do not want their "hunny" to die. I wonder what the "not by my hand" section means. I will leave this up to interpretation.

Hold your nose

In full repose

You’re so ramose

Let me propose


A repetition of my favourite stanza. This is wonderful. :)

I really liked this poem; it is full of contrasting and contradicting interpretations, allowing the reader to open their mind. Very impressive. :)

Good work!

User avatar
Bellator
Review
Bellator wrote a review Review · Mar 10, 2014

Hello! Bella here. I really enjoyed this. You have a certain way with words that makes me just want read this aloud in a British accent while stealing millions of dollars from a smitten businessman. Is that weird? I must congratulate you, for I found very little wrong with this piece.The rhymes in this don't seem forced at all, which is impressive. You set down a specific tone, and your sophisticated word choice certainly boosts it. Well done! My only complaint would be that the rhythm is a little broken between the stanzas. Well, I don't know. Maybe you did that on purpose. All in all, a great work!



You are all the colours in one, at full brightness.
— Jennifer Niven, 'All the Bright Places'