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My plane crashed and the world swallowed me whole.
Spoiler
When I first felt myself plummet from the sky, I felt my soul separate from my body. My body tensed, feeling terrified, completely losing control of myself, something that has happened to me over and over again, as the world has shown me how easily I can become nothing. But within myself, or some part of me that was no longer me, I felt a stillness, as I watched it all unfold. I heard nothing, except a woman screaming, nowhere to be seen. We crashed forever, but it was only an instant. Time became nothing but a strand of light that joined all of me together.
And suddenly, the plane, and everyone in it, became myself, the walls of my own mind, the descent of a soul into its own unconscious, my fragility that crashes over and over, every night.
And then, last month, I smelled death. It touched me, I felt it holding its hand over my mouth, letting nothing escape. I was in the plane all over again. I was nothing, I was everything. I dreamed that I became God, consuming all vision with light and the feeling of pure consciousness. I realized that I could never end. And for the first time, as I felt the plane begin to twist and spiral, falling towards the earth, it stabilized and I felt like I could breathe for the first time.
salutations, Ellie !!! this caught my eye because, due to the title, i expected the piece to be about something completely different…. and i was surprised to say the least (in a good way ! )
firstly, i like the format you used here. it’s structured like a narrative but the prose is poetic and … poem-izes it (is that a word?) capturing the experience of a plane crash also intrigued me; it’s terrifying to be in such a situation, but (with no intention of disrespect to plane crash victims) the way you described it made it sound unearthly.
if you have actually experienced a plane crash, i’m so sorry and i’m glad you got through it. please know i’m not trying to glorify or undermine your situation in any way, just making an observation. <33
oooh i just love when people personify death ^^
i don’t know if this was intentional, but the repetition of ‘and’ at the beginning of some sentences (“ And then, last month, I smelled death,” “And suddenly … “ etc.) was v. effective, it made it seem like everything was happening in a blur, transitioning from one thing to the next.
i love the juxtaposition (or is the term ‘antithesis ?? I’M MIXING UP MY WORDS AGAIN-) here !!
i have no critiques other than this:
this quote is inherently well-written, but something that made me stop and reread it a few times was “completely losing control of myself.” forgive me if I’m being too specific here, but would it not be “completely losing control of itself” since the subject of the first part of this sentence is the body? unless the “myself” was intentional to show the mind/body connection? please lmk : )
overall, i loved this !! your writing is v. detailed and breathtaking and i look forward to reading more of your work.
~Vesh 🪭