Fragility

Fragile, breathing, still.
I have learned, once again, that my mind is the deepest cave of helplessness.
I have rejected the world, focused on what I considered lasting,
I thought I knew depth when I relived it all.
Watching myself want something, someone,
Wanting to be wanted in a world that I know will end.
I believe that I chose this world, I thought it was only to suffer,
To allow myself to be tormented and torn.
In my suffering, I seek a cure. In death, I sought life.
And still, I want to smell the end, closer, harsher,
I want to feel its breath. I want to shatter my own fragility.
In my stillness, I had nothing to offer,
I could only seek what my own body could not give.
I could only wait for my breath to return and my bones to mend themselves,
I could only believe in time, in structure, in life, in nothing.
Let the marrow in my bones guide my faith in everything,
Because I no longer trust good or evil. I no longer live in this world.
I crave fragility. I could break with my own breath.