Don’t lie to me. I hear you all the time, is it not late enough? Can I sleep now or will you continue to haunt my thoughts, telling me that I can’t do it. Telling me that I can’t be the one. I hear your voice in my head telling me that I’m nobody. That I’ll never change and I’ll never be the person I aim to be.
Don’t lie to me. Saying all those things, I know exactly who I am, and I know exactly who I will be. You can’t stop me, not you or your actions or these pathetic words you try and throw at me. They don’t bring me down, they won’t. They hurt, oh they hurt a lot. Especially coming from you. You of all people.
Don’t lie to me. I have enough people against me as it is. You think you’re the only one saying these things? There’s nothing you can say that I haven’t heard from someone else. There’s nothing left for you to say because I hear it so many times. I’ve heard it before and I’ve made myself strong against it.
Don’t lie to me. I’m not weak, do you see where I am? Do you see me walking the path that I chose to take? Just because you try and kick me off the road, send me on detours, push me in potholes. I’m still going. Don’t you see that?
Don’t… Lie to me… Why do you have to do this to me? Is what I want wrong? Is it wrong for me to chase after my dreams? Why are you so against me…? I get it, other people can be weak and they want you to be weak with them. They can’t stand to see someone else rising above them… Yet you… You of all people…
Don’t lie to me. I will rise above, I will be somebody, and I will walk this road. I will be everything that I dream to be, and I will be it without you. I don’t need the negative in my life, I’m not going down, I’m only going up. There isn’t a thing in this world that you can do to stop me. I will be.
Don’t you dare lie to me… That’s what I tell the face in the mirror.
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140,703 Literary Works • 673,672 Reviews
Hey Dusty! Quick review:
I really liked how you kept building the confidence you had in yourself as you got closer to the end. It was nice that you started every paragraph with "Don't lie to me". It provided a nice form of order. I was pleasantly surprised at the end. It was deep, and you conveyed your emotion well through the confidence amount. This short story has a great message; no one should be doubting themselves, and everyone should have the confidence that you do!
Sorry for the lacking length!
~Caterpickle
Thanks so much!!
You've made quite the story here. It's cool and really awesome. It feels like some sort of plead and vow or something! I enjoyed myself a lot while reading this. The ending is really solid, too. Great job! It feels so symbolic and motivating. This is like some sort of ode against mirrors. You have written this so well but it really feels like a poem. Was that intended? Either way, there is nothing I can tell you that you could work on.
Pleasant dreams!
~Holographic Ladybug
Deep much?
it was meant to be poetic, yes. XD Thanks so much for reading!
Hey! This was really good writing and quite inspirational!
I think the sentences surrounding this one are good, but this sentence doesn't belong there. This gives off sort of a romance theme, but the rest doesn't seem that way.
I like the emphasis but I feel it may be repeated too many times. I think it would be good in the first sentence and the last paragraph but if you take out all the others it will still be emphasized as much as you want it to be.
Overall, I really like this and the plot twist at the end was really unexpected. I like how you didn't just say "That's what I tell me" but how you said the face in the mirror. I wasn't expecting you to be talking about yourself but it really shows the internal struggles that many face in their daily lives. This was really encouraging if other people need the courage to get over that little voice in their head telling them they can't. Great writing!!!! Keep it up!
HI Dustbunny!
Wow. That was inspirational. I feel like this should be a song that plays everywhere. Maybe put it in lyrics, too? I don't know. With the "Don't lie to me" part at the beginning of each paragraph. But thats true, the only person standing in your own happiness is you. Not someone else. You can be your greatest enemy, not the girl that won't stop talking trash about you. You can ignore that. But its hard to ignore yourself. I think we all need to rise above the lies we tell ourselves. DO YOU TRULY FEEL like your lying to yourself? Or did you write this for someone else? Good job!
Thank you so much for reading! This originally came out as a rap song that I kept imagining Eminem singing XD
At least its not rap... i hate rap. (Sorry)
HI Dustbunny!
Wow. That was inspirational. I feel like this should be a song that plays everywhere. Maybe put it in lyrics, too? I don't know. With the "Don't lie to me" part at the beginning of each paragraph. But thats true, the only person standing in your own happiness is you. Not someone else. You can be your greatest enemy, not the girl that won't stop talking trash about you. You can ignore that. But its hard to ignore yourself. I think we all need to rise above the lies we tell ourselves. DO YOU TRULY FEEL like your lying to yourself? Or did you write this for someone else? Good job!
That was some roller coaster. Kinda. I liked the little twist at the end. It really made me think about the meaning behind this story.
Meaning (what I think)
Personally, I feel like you're trying to capture that feeling everyone gets. That doubt in someone's head. The reflection that looks back at you every day.
It's like two sides of your personality clashing. One side is the one that will keep pushing on, even when they fail. And the other is the one that pushes you down. Makes you think about your choices and if they're really ideal. Makes you live a life inside a bubble. Makes you depressed and doubtful. Makes you regret.
But that's just my opinion on what this is about. I'm probably completely wrong.
Um, I'm not sure what else to say. This was really good, though. And I'm sorry if I wasn't any help.
Like I said, the ending is very "Oh" to the reader. Ok, maybe that sounded anti-climatic but that's the feeling you get when you read this. You build up the hate towards the character that's the antagonist and then it just sort of disappears when you read this.
...
So anyway...
Bye!
No it was great! Thank you so much for reading!
Hey Dustbunny14!
Spoiler
Spoiler
Spoiler
The part after the comma tripped me up at first, but upon re-reading I think I understand it. It's late at night, is the conclusion I've come to.
I'm not really sure, but I think that the period at the end of this should be a question mark.
This confused me a bit, and after re-reading I'm not quite sure what you meant. I'm leaning towards that you meant she will be who she wants to be, and not worry about others, but I'm not sure.
The last sentence really brings it home, and I really liked it
Have a great day!
~Myth
Thank you so much for reading!
No problem! I'm sorry about all the typos in my original review, I don't know how I didn't notice them! I think I've fixed them now,
.
Hi,
These were quite inspiring words.
I'm not sure that this can be called as a "true" short story, but it was meaningful enough.
Speaking to ourselves could be an interesting thing to do and yours was deep. I know this habit is quite weird and if we do it often, we will be called as crazy, but yeah, we need it to encourage ourselves like you do.
And of course, the mysterious, gloomy feeling you left in the end of the story spots on! It made me frowned because
The word face that I would like to highlight brings something 'potential'.
Sorry to say this but this story is somewhat a cliche....
However, don't look this as a problem because we all do cliche as we bake a biscuit, we need flour. Good work making this as clean as you can.
DA END!!
I hope this do help ya.
DA END AGAIN!
P/s:
crush it.................
Thank you so much! I wasn't sure what to call it other than a short story! Also if you have any suggestions for anything other than THE lemme know