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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Mature Content

An Unrealistic Illogical Ideologist: The Other Side

by DragonNoir


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

How could I have done that to him? Because of me, he’s dead! I can still see the image in my head of him hanging from the ceiling. Just the other day we were all lovey-dovey, buying each other presents and food and making funny jokes with each other. He loved me so truly and I just…

Threw it away? Quite precisely. You thought he’s like the others, but you were wrong, wrong, wrong. Ha! You really have trust issues, even with the closest of friends and your family. You’re a failure to our society. A girl like you doesn’t deserve the popularity you have. The only reason you get all that attention is because the guys fall for you thinking the same thing you did: you’re just like the others.

I won’t believe your hateful words. You’ll never understand how many guys have obliterated my heart. You’ll never understand how many stitches it took for my heart to be sown into something which barely made it look whole. You think love is something disposable, but you’re the one who’s dead wrong.

Is that so? Did I lead to a guy’s death? Did I misjudge him for an absolute shithead? Did I sadistically play with his emotions like a cat with a mouse? I think the answer is self-explanatory. You thought he was stronger than that. You thought he was different, yet the same. Now tell me, you think I’m the one in the wrong? First of all, I’m not even in control. I may be a part of you, but I don’t control you.

Good. If you were in control of me, then I’d probably be the one with a noose around my neck. It’s like you’re absolutely useless. Why are you here? Why do you exist? Why can’t you just fuck off and find yourself a different victim. What do I care if I played with his emotions? It’s not like he wasn’t planning to do that himself.

You keep thinking that. Go through another five dudes like a bullet. You create loud noise to catch their attention and when they accept you into their heart, you simply rip through them and move on to the next guy. In fact, I think there’s a word to describe someone like you: a SLUT.

Don’t you fucking dare call me a slut. Just who do you think you are? Do you actually think that no one’s done this before? Pff, you’re more simple-minded than I expected. People have done this in the past, are still doing it and will always do it, as long as the Human race lives.

Yeah, wouldn’t the annihilation of the Human race be just so amazing and beneficial? So much stupidity would disappear from this universe, it would be beautiful. I really can’t wait until that happens.

I’d like to point out that if I die, then so do you.

Good, that’ll kill two birds with one stone.

You think you’re not to blame, but in reality, you’re fully to blame. Wanna know why? Where were you when I was doing those horrible things to him? Where were you when I first met him? Where were you when I EVER ACTUALLY NEEDED YOU?! You were always there to point out my wrongs and make me feel bad about myself, and I would always put up with it. That ends now!!

Not so talkative now, are you? Maybe the blood pouring out of my chest will bring me my death, but at least you’re silent. I don’t have to listen to your poisonous speeches anymore. You’re gone. You’re nothing. Your words meant nothing. But, since you were a part of me… Did that mean that my life also meant nothi-



Author’s Note: I hope you enjoyed this piece! 

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Mon May 08, 2017 12:44 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



Hi there!

So, to add with what Gringo said.

Everything from the dialogue to the action the protagonist takes at the end strike me as a very over-the-top, and I find that it works against the story. There are good ideas lying in here, but the execution is ultimately quite rough.


I think what maybe makes this rough and over-the-top - and maybe hard to really get into the character - is that *all* we're seeing is her internal struggle against the critical, awful part of herself. Which I like seeing, don't get me wrong. It's an interesting concept, as Gringo said.

That said, I think we need more specifics about this character - and, even more so, the relationship that ended in the boyfriend's suicide. What first attracted the character to that particular guy? Was he obviously like every other guy she's dated, or did she think he was different? What are some good memories she has of their time together? When did it all start to go wrong? Did she have some clues that the guy was using her, or was it really all in her head because she just expects that of guys at this point? How did she feel, right at first, when she found out he had killed himself? Did she find him herself, or did she find out secondhand?

If we know some of these specific details - if you show us some scenes from the character's life before this point - we'll relate more to the character, care more about her, and ultimately find it far more tragic when she decides to kill herself to escape the voice inside. You don't have to show us EVERYTHING, but by having her remember bits and pieces of the relationship as she argues with herself, the story will be a lot stronger.

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DragonNoir says...


Thank you very much for your feedback, I will be sure to remember this when writing things like this in the future :)



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Mon May 08, 2017 7:50 am
Gringoamericano wrote a review...



So this tackles the short story format in a very unusual way. The story is told entirely through a monologue; or maybe a dialogue between a person and their internal thoughts. The concept, while unorthodox can be done well. You do touch upon themes here which can be very relatable and universal, such as how one tends to be their own worst critic, and the constant internal battle between one's actions and their perceptions of themselves

Thing is this is quite overdramatic. Everything from the dialogue to the action the protagonist takes at the end strike me as a very over-the-top, and I find that it works against the story. There are good ideas lying in here, but the execution is ultimately quite rough.

That being said, thank you very much for sharing.




DragonNoir says...


Thank you for your review and I'm glad you enjoyed it :)




A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul, and that, I am sure, is why he does it.
— Roald Dahl