Young Writers Society

I like it! It has every quality that a children's poem should have (I mean it in a good way, writing poems for children isn't all that easy, and it's a form of art).

I don't really have any other comments about this. It's simple and straightforward, my favourite points. Good job! Write more poetry like this, on 'Friday' or stuff like that.

Keep it up!

Mysticalxx

Awesome poem! Made me smile, which was what I was going for when I clicked 'Humor.' I have to admit, this poem basically sums up my life at school. The one thing that kind of threw me off though was the part about band, since 'bad' doesn't rhyme with 'and.' This kind of messed up the flow of the poem momentarily. Out of a score of ten, I would give this an eight and a half. Impressive! I definitely liked this and will be watching for more of your work in the future. Good job!

Hey there, Cailey here fot the review.
This remined me a lot of myself. And my sister, Molly, who hates Mondays more than anyone.
Okay, so I liked this little bouncy musical rhythm you got going here. It's cute and happy and easy to read. Also, since your lines are so short, it's a good way of showing how each class is short, but also repetitive (like your rhymes.)
I have a few nitpicks, mostly just places where your rhythm fell through, or in a few cases your rhymes. So, here you go.
"Period three,
I'm hungry.
Ipod broke,
Poor old me."
I'm hungry messes up the meter here. Hungry has enfasis on the Hun, but you're using it here where the enphasis should be on the gry. So, there's a bit of a problem here.
"I have no fork
or fruit to munch."
Also, here. Most of these have three beats per line. These both have four. Any reason for that?
"Now for band.
Not so bland
I haven't practiced.
That's too bad."
Here, bad doesn't rhyme with and, and I don't this is like an especially great line for you to keep. If you find some way to change it, I suggest you do.
The last stanza you also go from two beats to four and back to the three. Might want to see if you can fix that.
Anything else? Well, I think poems can always use more imagery and detail, and this one is certainly no different.
Hope this helps!

Hi there SORRY for the late delay.

May I be the first to say how much I can relate to this? Bad day at school, wishing it will eventually end, and feeling great afterwards. I especially like the fifth stanza- it reminds me of what I used to do a while back.

Overall, I liked it. Well done.

4/5

I love the rhyming couplets it describes my days at school - well pretty much and i love it.
the structure is perfect and flows well with the words. It made me smile while reading it and the short sentences gave it a little perk and it bounced well in my head. I would say that one or two didn't rhyme which put me off a little but its hard to find rhyming words for everything sometimes you just end up making words in the desperate time.

Overall i loved it really good piece of poetry! Keep it up!

-PotterGeek-