Foxglove: Chapter Six

by Dracula

Published November 1, 2014

In Foxglove

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"So what will it be?" Olive asks. "The easy way or the hard way?"

"I'll do it." I say, giving her the evil eye. As much as I wish to protest, I don't think it wise. I'm hardly strong enough to take on an extremely muscly, grown man and a sadistic ruler. There will be time for revenge and an escape later.

"Excellent." Olive smiles, looking genuinly pleased. "Fredric will escort you to the tent where you will be staying for the night." She waves to the man who's name doesn't match his strength and he signals for me to follow him.

As I exit the tent, everyone stops what they're doing and looks at Fredric as if they're waiting for confirmation. He nods at no one in particular and they all let out a sigh in unison, then go back to work with grins on their dirt ridden faces.

"You'll be staying with the Willows, tonight." The man looks back at me as he trods past the lake towards a circle of large tents. "There's two kids your age, you should get along well enough."

"Thanks." I say, then bite my tongue. I shouldn't be thanking him, these people are forcing me to marry against my will. But at least they're making me comfortable.

And as I walk towards a red tent, I feel as if our two worlds aren't so different after all. The banished and the barbarians, as they call us. They both want power, they both want me enslaved to a man.

A middle aged lady with a slim build and frizzy gold hair pushes her way out of the tent. She yells something behind her and then walks over to greet me. "Hello, dear. My name is Matilda." Instead of holding out a hand to shake, she pulls me into a hug. "We're so happy to host you."

"I'm not so happy to be here." I step away from her.

She frowns. "That's okay, you won't be here for long. I hear Olive is asking you to do us a favour?"

Fredric clears his throat. "I'll come back tomorrow morning to take you back home."

I nod and he walks away. Turning back to Matilda, I begin ranting. "She didn't ask me. She threatened me!"

Matilda looks uncomfortable now. Her lips are sealed shut but they're moving up and down as if she wants to say something. "Just come inside and meet my family." She grabs my arm and leads me into the tent.

It's quite bigger on the inside than it looks from the outside. There are two teenagers sitting on pillows, a boy and a girl, obviously the ones that Fredric had told me about. They stand up, their height causing them to almost hit their heads on the top of the tent.

"I'm Annabelle." The girl hugs me, just like her mother did. "This is my brother, Carven." Carven winks at me and looks at his mother. "Could we take her outside, please?"

"Darling, she's only just stepped foot inside." Matilda tilts her head. "I don't think-"

I cut her off. "I'd love to go outside. My name's Foxglove." I say, having not had the chance to introduce myself.

"Oh, we know that, dear." Matilda shrugs. "If you want to go out, then I guess that's alright." She points her finger at Carven. 'You and Annabelle better look after this girl, she's very important. And if you see your father, tell him to get right back."

Carven nods and pushes past me to get out of the tent. Annabelle takes me hand and I walk out with her. I'm lead past the other tents and slightly back into the forest. A few trees hide us from anyone in the settlement.

"Sorry about our mum." Carven leans against a tree trunk. "She's way too loyal to Olive. You'd be locked up in a cage if our famous leader had asked for it."

I slump down onto the ground, laying down and resting my head on the leaves. I get the feeling that these two are very relaxed, and right now that's what I need to be as well. "So what's she got planned for me? Apart from the marriage bit."

"Olive's mad. Literally. I can't know for certain what she's got up her sleeve, but I think..." Carven begins telling me something but I see Annabelle raise her eyebrows at him.

"We can't tell you. Olive would have us killed if you found out." Annabelle sits on the ground next to me. "Just don't worry about it, okay?"

"I don't think that's a very decent request, sister." Carven starts picking at his nails, not looking us in the eye. "There are a few helpful things I can tell you."

"Carven-"

"Shut it, Anna, she needs to know this." Standing over us, Carven looks and sounds just as daunting as Olive, but I figure that his intentions are good. Annabelle stares at the ground. "First thing, Foxglove, Olive is a bit psychology freak. She will twist stories and such so that you will do her evil will."

I look at Annabelle and see how frightened she looks as Carven tells me this information. "If you're putting yourselves in danger by talking to me, you don't have to."

"No. I'm telling you." He slides his back down the trunk so that he's kneeling just infront of me. "Don't be scared. Olive can't hurt you, she needs you. Sure, she could probably just replace you with someone else- but that would take time. She's only threatening you because if she asked nicely you'd just say no, and if she told you all the details you most certainly would not even think of-"

Carven stops talking when we hear a branch snap. Annabelle jumps up and scans the area, but she shrugs, indicating that she doesn't see anyone. "It must be an animal."

More leaves rustle and Carven also stands up, I follow his lead. "It's not an animal." He clenches his fists and mouths hunters. Even though he told me not to be scared, now I definitely am. If a hunter finds me, there's no way I'll live.

Suddenly a figure emerges from behind a tree. Arthur holds up his hands in surrender. "Nope, just me."

Carven and Annabelle relax and mutter some curses at him. He laughs.

I walk up to him. "Why did you bring me here?"

He steps back. "Don't attack me again. I came to apologise... and to tell you not to get you pants in a knot, but I think these two have already told you everything."

Annabelle shakes her head. "Carven didn't tell her anything we're not allowed to."

"Relax, kid." Donovon shoves past me, obviously no longer worried that I'll attack him. I turn around, watching him as he puts his hands on Annabelle's shoulders. "I'm not accusing you, I'm here to join your conversation."

Carven watches Arthur's every move. "Then why don't you talk."

"Okay then. Foxglove..." He let's go of the girl and casually dumps himself onto the ground. "You really need to loosen up. I'm telling you, there's nothing to worry about. Well, sure, if you don't want to die then you'll have to marry Domonic. But he's nothing to get huffed up about. After the war you can get divorced."

"War?" I feel my face reddening. "You're starting a war?"

"With your help, yes. It's the only way we can stop living in fear." Arthur speaks about it so easily. He obviously hasn't visited the graveyard, with a whole field full of victims from the last battle.

Carven holds out his arm to me in a calming gesture. "You don't have to fight. We just need your help."

Suddenly there's a scream from the village of tents. All four of our heads turn in the directio of the lake.

Annabelle begins walking out of the forest. "That was mum!" She tells us, tears trickling down her cheeks. I figure her mind must be racing with ideas of why her mother screamed. Her walk turns into a run and we all follow.

Matilda is lying on the grass, her slim form jerks as she cries, screams escaping her lips every few seconds. Her hands are clasping onto a piece of string with different types of nuts threaded onto it. I realise that it's a necklace.

When Annabelle and Carven see the string, they both let out their own screams and join their mother in a fit of crying and shouting.

I turn to Arthur who stands beside me, staring at the scene. "What's happened?"

He doesn't turn to me, just talks like a robot. "Their father has been killed by a hunter."

Now I understand why they talk about war so calmly. The barbarians kill their family as if it's a sport, and they are left hiding in a forest, living in tents. They might as well fight for their freedom, what is there to lose?

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
megsug
Review
megsug wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2014

Back again to wrap everything up~

Alright, I really like Carven. He seems pretty legit. I'm going to get to everything else now~

everyone stops what they're doing and looks at Fredric as if they're waiting for confirmation

Is this implying that everyone in the camp knew the plan? That's just not how government works, and it's also a lot of people who have the risk of being captured or risking someone telling the people in town.

"We can't tell you. Olive would have us killed if you found out."

Again, why does everyone know if they're trying to keep it a secret?

Carven looks and sounds just as daunting as Olive, but I figure that his intentions are good.

Why? She just met this kid, and he's part of the 'enemy.' He's done nothing to prove his good intentions. Why is she trusting them at all? Why aren't the Banished worried that she'll try to run?

you will do her evil will

If the Banished think Olive is evil, why is she in charge?

Donovon shoves past me, obviously no longer worried that I'll attack him

Donovon being Arthur?

tears trickling down her cheeks.

It didn't take her long to start crying... She doesn't even know why her mom is screaming. It could be something small.

Okay, main problem. Carven is referring to things Olive does as evil, but Arthur turns around, doesn't get the two siblings in trouble, but doesn't say Olive is evil. Is there something other than the war that is in Olive's evil plan that makes it evil? Do most of the Banished think she's evil?

I mean, it makes sense that they would want to attack the barbarians. Why would Carven think that's evil?

Now, I really like the development. This might change Foxglove's perception which always promises to be interesting. It's nice to see the Banished and how they live. I'd love to see more of their culture.

Let me know when the next chapter is up,
Megs~

User avatar
yakitsa
Review
yakitsa wrote a review Review · Nov 30, 2014

Hi jazzydracula, Yastika here for a review!

First off, I really like your plot, it's interesting and keeps the readers hooked. Your style of writing suits the story.
I really liked Carven! I hope we see more of him in the future chapters...
I found very, very few nitpicks...good for you! You don't have to worry too much about your grammar and punctuation too much...

"She waves to the man who's name doesn't match his strength and he signals for me to follow him."

Might want to add a comma after 'strength'. It may get confusing for the reader if the sentence gets too long.

"You'll be staying with the Willows, tonight."

That comma isn't quite required after 'Willows'. It's a bit of a jerk in the smooth flow of your story.

"You'll be staying with the Willows tonight."

See what I'm saying?

""First thing, Foxglove, Olive is a bit psychology freak.""

Okay, this might be better as-

""First thing, Foxglove, Olive is a bit of a psychological freak.""

I think it sounds more correct this way. Just suggesting.

"All four of our heads turn in the directio of the lake."

You forgot the 'n' in 'direction'!

That's about it! I look forward to the next chapter!

User avatar
SkyeWalker
Review
SkyeWalker wrote a review Review · Nov 5, 2014

Heya! Zhia here to review your story!!

I have read some of your chapters, although not all of them. So, I sort of know what's going on. I didn't have much trouble filling in the missing bits of info though, so GOOD FOR YOU!! (and your Doctor Who avatar, of course. ;) ) Your characters are still super strong, and I only found two nitpicky errors, Which is the next thing I'm going to talk about!!

"Oh, we know that, dear." Matilda shrugs. "If you want to go out, then I guess that's alright." She points her finger at Carven. 'You and Annabelle better look after this girl, she's very important. And if you see your father, tell him to get right back."


I believe it looks like this?

"Oh, we know that, dear." Matilda shrugs. "If you want to go out, then I guess that's alright." She points her finger at Carven. "You and Annabelle better look after this girl, she's very important. And if you see your father, tell him to get right back."


She waves to the man who's name doesn't match his strength and he signals for me to follow him.


Okay, so Jack already found the first thing wrong with the sentence, BUT. That apostrophe in "who's"? That would make the word "who is" and that doesn't really fit with the sentence. So I would suggest changing it to this:

She waves to the man whose name doesn't match his strength, and he signals for me to follow him.


That is all I have to say! Zhia out, and thank you very much for a GREAT read today!! :D

Zhia the Assassin

User avatar
Burrow
Review
Burrow wrote a review Review · Nov 1, 2014

Jack here for a review.

Ok to start of I haven't yet had the chance to read the other 5 chapters, but I wasn't confused at all which Is a good sign, I really enjoyed it and plan to read the other 5. You wrote this story well and it was a struggle to find anything wrong with it.

Firstly:

I nod and he walks away. Turning back to Matilda, I begin ranting. "She didn't ask me. She threatened me!"

I think personally, it would be better if you put a comma instead of full stop in between me and she.

Secondly:

She waves to the man who's name doesn't match his strength and he signals for me to follow him.

This is a awfully long sentence I suggest adding a comma in maybe in between( strength, and).

That's about all I could find. So this is a really good job. I hope to read more, thankyou for sharing this with me.

Jack



My life, my loves, where are they now?
— Richard Linklater