Decisions

by Derek

Published October 9, 2008

In Poems

-Decisions-

The world's lies flow around me

Darkness and fear of what is to come

The decision that could change my life

The choice of whether or not to continue

Is this endeavor pointless?

Am i nothing but your pawn?

Do you use me to get what you want?

I sometimes feel like I'm not even here

Your comments, your objections

Everything you say is degrading to me

When the light fades behind the clouds the world disappears

My world disappears

Are you my light? or the cloud covering it?

I must make a decision, whether or not to remove this thorn.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
xGraceex
Review
xGraceex wrote a review Review · Oct 9, 2008

That was so beautiful, its egsactly how i feel sometimes... so alone and just a pawn on a huge chessbourd. I found no mistakes, it was just so fresh and different from other things ive seen here... i loved it, i felt like it could have been my own thoughts about life, i know your situation might be different but i think in many ways i have sorta gone through something like that, the second line just wanted me to read more
great poem, very truethful and beautiful :D
spelling and punctuation could do with some improving but i dont care about them! i just loved the poem :D

User avatar
janey
Review
janey wrote a review Review · Oct 9, 2008

There were some lines in this that I liked, but for me, a lot of it just didn't make me feel the poem.

My favourite part is probably the following:

When the light fades behind the clouds the world disappears
My world disappears
Are you my light? or the cloud covering it?


I think that you should maybe try and make the rest of the poem flow into this part a bit more... maybe keep going with the theme of light fading, worlds disappearing and clouds.

Just a thought.



Everything has a consequence and every consequence leads to death.
— kattee