Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,467 Literary Works • 672,571 Reviews
Yay for people understanding you and such!
Anyway, one of the things that struck me for this poem (and there were several things!) was that it was not really about joy so much but at having the feeling of loneliness being blotted away through compassion and understanding. So, I am not quite sure that the title is appropriate, lol.
One of the things that I noticed in this piece was your imagery of healing... like, in the beginning there you said this:
My scars dragged away from me by your smile,
every pain I have ever felt in my life has vanished.
I thought that imagery was very wonderful, and I think if you turned around this poem to talk about understanding and compassion as a healing device for a broken heart, your poem might actually be a lot better. You have most of the pieces in place... the heart, the joy, the healing... so if you arranged it a little better, I think that this can be a more powerful poem with a much stronger basis.
Also... I love you, but you need to bring a little bit more of your sparkling personality here to make your poem really sparkle. You're not putting in enough.
Good luck!
Hey,
Thanks for the request!
I really love the emotion and word choice for this piece, and I think it's very unique the way you make the stanzas two lined sentences. I don't really want you to fix anything about this.
If you have any questions or need another review feel free to ask.
have a great day,
Tiffany
This is a good poem.
You have a good amount of emotion in it but it lacks flow. Luckily the whole thing is understandable and makes sense (I've come across some poems that have great flow and emotion but make no sense), so, that's a big plus (+).
Overall, it's a pretty good poem.
Keep writing,
Alzora
Hey, I'm here to review your poem
So, this was a really well-written poem! This is probably not the kind of review you were looking for, but I couldn't find anything wrong with it
Aahahah! The flow was very nice and smooth and your word choice was nice. The imagery in here was beautiful
There wasn't any grammar issues that I noticed.
I actually do have two minor suggestions:
and
Anyways, other than those two small things I thought it was nicely written
I thought that you could maybe add in a little more emotion but that's about it. Lovely work
Good word choice.
Shows a lot of emotion.
Brings life to the words.
Lovely, sweet, poem.
Don't stop.
This poem is very refreshing! I like it a lot!
Keep it up!
However, the only problem I see are the random parts in your stanzas where you randomly un-capitalize words at the beginning of each 2nd/last line; perhaps this was your purpose, though? I don't know, but in my opinion, I think you should consider capitalizing those parts accordingly.
Other then that, this poem is truly a masterpiece! Each stanza was written with perfection and deepness!
"Warmth washes soothingly over my whole body ,
for a miraculous moment nothing can hurt me.
Everything seems to stop all around me,
the world seems to freeze without warning."
That is my favorite stanza!
Hi.. So this poem of yours was really good... The flow very smooth so it went good. Good work by putting ot up...
Harshita:)