"A Hundred Years"
A
boy and girl
girl and boy
Met by
chance
fate
And
he fell in love with her
she fell in love with him
She
couldn’t stay
lived miles away from him
But
he waited for her every summer
she came to visit every summer
And those six weeks were
what he looked forward to
the best weeks of her life
Everyday letters were sent
from New York
from England
To say
how much he loved her
how much she missed him
And every day
he would wait by the mailbox
she would keep his letters
But one day
the letter didn’t come
she couldn't write
Sometimes
the letters come late
she wishes she told him
The next day and the next
the letter wasn’t there
she still didn’t write
Never did
he stop writing
she stop crying
Because
he couldn’t tell her
she couldn’t tell him
That
he loved her
she was dead
He never knew
where she was
she had cancer
She never knew
how much he loved her
how bad it was
Until
he was crying too
it was too late
That year
he went to the airport
she stood next to him
And
waited for her
held his hand
But
she didn’t come
he couldn’t see her
Before long
he stopped writing
she started fading
But
he still remembered her
she still held on
Everyday
he thought about her
she stayed with him
And every year
he would wait at the airport
she would get off the plane
With
roses
a smile
Even though
she never came back
he couldn’t see her
As time went on
other girls came
other girls saw him
He
said he was taken
stayed faithful to her
And over the years
he grew old
he never forgot her
Still every year
he would be at the airport
she would stand with him
Because
he loved her
she loved him
And
he waited for her
she waited for him
They waited for each other
For a hundred years
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141,367 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
No words can describe this but I am going to try. This is so unbelievably sweet. It is also really sad but I still love it. It was really a forever love and they were each others one. Things like this expand my heart and make me feel so fluttery inside. It is so nice to know the true love can truly be achieved and the one is out there. I also really love your writing and the format you used for this poem. It is simple and fits this poem perfectly because yes they didn't get to be together they still loved each other and that was that. Their love was simple. I can't wait to read more of your pieces.
Keep up the amazing writing!
-Roxie Rain
I very much enjoyed this poem. It was heartfelt and touchy, yet the right amount of uniqueness to set it apart from the rest of the cliche heartfelt poems. I love the turn it takes from kind o melancholic to lastly tearful. The ending "They waited for each other/ For a hundred years" gives it that perfect ending that poems like this needs. Very very well done. I loved it so much.
Hi! Chips here to review.
Well, what a heartfelt and emotional poem you have here. The effort you put in shows, it was clear, concise and the story was direct and cohesive everything generally flowed together. It started off as a romance then took a melancholy turn.
It was unique and had a great narrative voice to it, however there is always room for improvements.
I found this poem to be quite repetitive in parts, which began to limit the effectiveness of some lines. Like this:
"A
boy and girl
girl and boy"
There is constant repetition of swapping the roles of girl-boy-girl-boy-he-she-he-she, which gets a bit too similar. Perhaps varying the phrasing.
I also found it to be quite cliche, it had emotion, yes but no outstanding emotion which would impact the reader greatly, in my opinion. Narratives like this exactly, have been done many times so it became very predictable. Perhaps if the ending or even the beginning started off with a twist already or something unexpected about the boy and girl. The ending was sad yes, but it didn't leave much of a lasting impression as again, its been done numerous times, maybe an alternate ending? If one of them didn't continue waiting, I would have found that more powerful, in my opinion.
Overall I thought this was a really great poem, well done and keep writing.
Hope I was of help to you.
--Chips
This is a rather touching poem, it is truly one that pulls at the heartstrings the way the Mute Maven plays her etwahl. I thought that the details were beautiful and the poem was touching. I agree with Savvy about the grammatical changes, but otherwise I thought the poem was excellent. The unique style was also a remarkable feature of the piece, and I hope that you continue to write such fantastic work in the future. Thanks for the good read!
Hey Corax.
Oh my gosh I'm crying!!! My tears are fricken multiplying all over the place. That's not fair. Haha, seriously though! This should never happen on the face of the Earth!
Down to business though.
I don't care if this is the teensiest bit cliche; it was touching and it completely released all of the emotions inside of me. c':
At first; just being totally honest with you; I wasn't in love with the formatting. I understand it now though. Unless you felt like it, I wouldn't change it.
Some quick suggestions. When you say,
"She
couldn’t stay
wasn’t a citizen..."
I would entirely take out the "wasn't a citizen" part. I like the metaphor; I don't think you need the extra explanation in there. "They waited for eachother"; 'each' and 'other' should be separated.
Otherwise, I don't know what else. You kind of blew my mind. Remediate this into a video and post it on YouTube.
Yours,
Sav