Stolen things

Hey there!
This is an interesting poem. I like the topic of the poem; it's what drew me in. You have a pretty unique poem, and I really enjoyed reading it! I have things I'd like to point out, but these are all suggestions, and you don't have to take them.

I personally think that you use too many commas. I know that grammar doesn't necessarily apply to poetry, but I think your poem would look better if you took out some commas at the end of lines. And in the line "Mom, and dad," I personally wouldn't out a comma after "Mom" and you should capitalize "Dad" since you're using it as a name (like you did with Mom).

"But it's still was too harsh,"
I believe you meant "it" instead of "it's"

"Only for tidy room,"
I would suggest putting "a" after "for"

"If it was made a bit later,
I wouldn't be crying now.

If my stolen things

Were taken away a bit later."
Personally, I don't think you need the repetition of being taken away a bit later.

"I know exactly why!"
The exclamation point seems a bit jarring. I would remove it, but you don't have to!

"If only it was ....."
If you want to put the dots after, I would suggest doing three instead of four (an ellipsis)

"My heart won't be broken know."
I believe you meant "now" instead of "know"

Overall, this was a lovely and beautiful poem, and I hope this helped!

Hi, time to review!

I could make out the clarity of tone in the poem, that is, pure anguish. There's sadness and anger in the poem that can easily be figured out.

I suggest you to correct the following:

1. "But it's still was too harsh"
There's no need to write 'it's', rather, use 'it'.
2. "It aces"
I think you mean 'aches'
3. "They didn't think how lost I'll be"
I suggest you edit 'I'll' to 'I would'.
4. "I know why"
You could have elaborated on this part as it would have defined your feelings more clearly.
5. "It hurts like like hell"
You have written 'like' two times. You can omit one.
6. "My heart won't be broken know"
You can correct 'know' to 'now'.

Use of stanzas could make the poem much more attractive as it is easy to understand.

It's hard to witness some thing that you truly cherish to slip away from your hands so easily. It pains to not have what you have always wanted. Eventually, we need to realise the cause of its happening.

Good luck and keep writing!

Best wishes,
I

HEY ChrisDixon I love this poem about the loss of time. When we grow up we have to lose the past that made us who we are it's a time of boundless joy and incorruptible innocence. The time that we lose makes us regret the changes that were necessary. And therein lies the dilemma of holding on and letting go. I love that to describe this phase of transition you use the word "stolen" it adds value to the faded past and it made me think of my own childhood. you also said that the sacrifice was worth it which was an interesting choice I didn't quite understand. The sentence "But it's still was too harsh" could have been written as it was still too harsh the grammatical composition of the sentence is distracting and it breaks the flow of the poem. Poetry is a medium where you can be free and abstract and this poem feels like one short paragraph I think you should delve a bit deeper into the emotions of the act than the act itself.