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Stoneslide - Chapter 8

Highwhisker sighed. “I’m sorry, Roz, but I didn’t…” he sighed again. How was he going to tell Roz he had no intention of racing with her before? He’d do it anyway. “I came here to start a burrowing party.” Uneasily, he rested his paws on a railing made of makeshift nails. “I didn’t mean to race, at all.”

Though the angry glitter in Roz’s eyes were prevalent, she didn’t say anything besides, “Then tell them. You are the ‘Whisker.” He couldn’t tell whether she was mocking him or not, but the chestnut mouse wouldn’t stir calm waters.

“Excuse me, mice!” he called.

Some mice quieted down, but most just continued talking.

“Down to a dull roar, if you will,” he said. “Now, I need you all to get a Burrowing expedition done.” He looked even taller on top of a raised board of old wood. He was seriously out of practice. The last time he asked the entire guild to do something was… way back when he asked the Burrowers to dig the tunnels.

“Great Hawk, I thought we were going to have a calm day today,” he caught sight of Illene whispering to Flekkanos’ friend, Nera, “Really, it’s storming out there. You think we’d go?”

Highwhisker tried to stop himself, but it didn’t work. “Yes, I do,” he said, “I am the leader of this city, no matter what Hazelwood says. I won’t watch this Guild, the pride of the city, turn into whatever you are now. Racing boats and insulting others. You think you might still have that pride but,” he stopped as he caught Roz’s hurt gaze. “Listen to authority and nothing more. Just think about what I said.” He didn’t hang his head. He stared the fifty-odd mice down further. He was the governor, and they should never forget.

The mice still didn’t move. Some mice glanced derisively at him, and the younger trainees began to whisper among themselves. Highwhisker felt his fur bristling all the way up to the back of his head. He raised his ears and held his head higher, waiting until they got the hint.

They didn’t. At least not until Roz spoke up. Her rosy blonde fur was just as bristled as Highwhisker’s, her eyes leaf green fury. “If you aren’t going to listen to Highwhisker, you’re going to listen to me!” she shouted. “Now, before I cut off your rations from the Gatherers, you better listen to what your leaders have to say. You hear us?”

Highwhisker remembered how after the battle Roz trained with the Guards to learn battle moves, in case Frozenmoon came back for a double-tap. She learned just as much as any guard that season. She’d be able to fight off Morlyle, so maybe she could be safe. It was only certain she wouldn’t be the next ‘Whisker.

“You’re going to dig underneath the Gatherers complex until you reach a tunnel.” Highwhisker was now calmer, though he was breathing deeply in case he had an outburst.

“We can go over it. You’ll be sending us on a wild goose chase,” a silver mouse named Zekarie, said.

“That man is going to bring the original complex down. You know it. Then the Gatherers won’t have a complex, will they?”

Zekarie didn’t speak up. In fact, it was silent in the complex. The only sound was thunder rumbling the ground like a bear.

“Alright, you. You heard what Highwhisker said. Get your tails out to that complex and get digging. Start two parties, one for chewing through the wood, and another for digging beneath it. If the wood is weather-treated, don’t chew. Now, go!” Roz clapped her paws and stood on the railing made from rusty nails and twigs. The mice immediately started going, and Highwhisker only felt a bit stung by it. At least, he tried convincing himself of that. He was truly stung. They’d listen to Roz before him.

Roz took Larx by the shoulder and smiled before hopping off the railing and landing on a plank below. She took a couple more steps and then stopped.

“Are you going with them?” Ketani asked.

Roz shook her head. “You go on, Larx,” she muttered. Highwhisker recoiled at the dark glare that Larx gave Roz, but didn’t say anything. Larx was Roz’s mouse to deal with, not his.

Ketani stood in silence, watching the mice intently with ice-blue eyes until they were all gone. He didn’t even say anything for an extra moment at the sight of an empty common room. There wasn’t even the squeak of hoppers playing together.

Roz swung around on Ketani, dark green eyes flaring. “Are you okay?” she paused, “Your outburst was… uncharacteristic.”

Ketani’s mouth tightened. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“You don’t fool me, Ketani. Something’s wrong, and I know it. What’s Morlyle done?”

“I won’t talk about it in the open,” Ketani said, stepping slowly down the slanted ramp until he turned and passed the railing.

“Then we’ll head to the office. You’re not yourself, and maybe we could talk this out.”

Highwhisker smiled, lighting up his icy eyes. “I like the sound of that.”

Though already, the conversation was playing out in his mind. He’d tell her, and Roz would probably pick her sword up right there and run him through, just as she had done to Renair, though Ketani never told anyone what happened to her.

His face fell. Hopefully Roz wouldn’t be mad.

***

Nera’s paws were nearly black with mud. The storm was worse than it sounded, because the wood absorbed all the sound. It was actually horrible outside. Highwhisker and Roz must’ve known that. They were outside.

Maybe they were just trying to be mean to the Burrowers. Her paws ached, and by the constant mutterings coming from Illene, her paws hurt too.

“Highwhisker and Roz are probably indoors. Holy hawk!” Illene leaped out of the way as yet another pile of mud fell on the pair. They couldn’t get under anything. More mud covered every hole they made, and the rain was so loud there was no communication. Both Larx and Nera agreed on that, though Larx kept giving Nera baleful glares for missing her last day of training.

But, hey. She paid it off the next day by shovelling out a broken down tunnel for the Guards by herself. Maybe Larx held a grudge for longer than even that.

“Alright, Nera,” Illene breathed, “This is getting too dangerous. Also, utterly stupid. We aren’t going to get at anything.” The thirteen season old mouse then uttered a stream of curses just as more mud covered their hole. “Just tell Larx that this is getting stupid. Kay?”

Nera nodded and scrabbled over the wood, getting a look at Larx. She was trying to stem the flow of mud and water, which was coming down in torrents. Nera was already running on all fours for extra speed. She scrabbled her paws as she stopped, right behind Larx. She then got a look at what Larx was seeing. Zekarie and the other mice, in a group of five, had managed to stop the flow of mud, and had managed to dig a bit more than a few pawfuls deep. They’d even managed to get far enough that they could even be waist-deep in water.

“Holy hawk…” Nera whispered, a smile beginning to break on her face. Even with the conditions out here. “You actually managed to get this far?”

That grabbed Larx’s attention. She turned to her, black eyes glinting. “Why aren’t you at your post?”

Nera then remembered. “Sorry, Larx, but we’re getting buried back there. It’s too dangerous.” Nera wasn’t even grey anymore for the mud that covered her. And for that matter, Larx wasn’t fawn anymore, either.

“I’ve got something,” Zekarie called. Nera hopped down just as quickly as Larx did at the sound. As she splashed down, she winced at the sudden cold. He reached his paw in, and then Nera saw him stop. He grunted, and Nera saw his muscles tighten beneath his fur. Yet there was something stopping him. “I…” Zekarie said slowly. “Got stuck in something,” The older mouse cracked a smile.

Larx shook her head. “This isn’t funny, Zekarie.” Nera and Larx both looked in closer to the paw. With a swipe away of the mud, they only got a glimpse of it before the mud once more covered Zekarie’s paws. A glimpse was all Nera needed.

“The man put down mesh!” she whispered fiercely. Without another thought, she looked up and out at the Burrowers. “Does anyone have a knife? Anything?”

“Shut up, Nera.” Larx’s black eyes shone.

Nera didn’t listen to her trainer. “We’ll be able to go back if we can cut through some mesh.”

Larx curled her lip. “Not if the mud falls on our heads and suffocates us first,” the fawn mouse seethed.

Again, she ignored Larx. But nobody would say anything. They were all too busy in their work. No matter how miserable it was. “Excuse me,” she said.

One mouse looked up, her dark fur covered in mud. “We’re listening. Just not responding, Trainee.” She was old, and her amber eyes were beginning to show white with blindness. Why she hadn’t retired yet was beyond Nera. Then she remembered that she’d never seen a mouse that was retired, ever. “And no. We don’t bring blades with us for the fun of it.”

Nera stopped. She had a point. So Nera just sighed and began to walk down. Nobody would carry a knife around them without good reason. She looked up at her trainer, who was looking right back down at her angrily. Nera looked down. “Alright, I get it. I shouldn’t have done it and I’m sorry.” She knew what she had to say to Larx to make her happy, and admitting that she was right was one of those things.

“Glad you know.”

Zekarie was about to say something, but was cut off by something whirring in the air. There was a thud, and a sharpened twig landed into the ground, straight as a spear. “Well, that’s helpful,” he said instead. “Larx, can you toss it over?”

Larx nodded but stopped as she took a step towards it. She blinked after staring at the barkless twig looked at the sky. Nera took a glance at the twig, then the etchings on it, and realized that’s what Larx must’ve seen. There was most definitely writing on it, however scratchy it looked.

“It’s from Hazelwood, isn’t it?” Nera asked.

Larx nodded, smiling. “Yeah,” she said. “Think he’s got more respect for working mice than Highwhisker does, eh?” Blinking black eyes, she then kicked the spear to Zekarie, who grabbed it with his other paw.

Nera didn’t smile though. It didn’t seem right, the rebellion. The Guilds were there for a reason, right?

Zekarie tugged harder, but the thick black netting wasn’t giving. He muttered under his breath, but Nera couldn’t hear the angry grumbles.

“Let me see the spear,” Nera said, but stopped at an angry glance from Larx. “Please?”

Larx, being the mouse she was looked over to Zekarie, the nearest mouse.

“Does it really matter Larx? Agh!” The dam that Larx had built there was only temporary, apparently, and water and mud was now falling harder than before. “I’ll pull my paws out without the spear.” Zekarie drove the spear into the mud easily.

“Fine,” Larx said, “Take it.” The fawn mouse picked up the spear and tossed it to Nera, who caught it with both paws.

Her eyes traced over the nearly unreadable lines. The rain wasn’t helping either. “Go back. Show…” Nera paused, reading the words over twice. She could just be hallucinating. “Highwhisker that we can’t be ordered around?” Nera looked up at Larx. “Hazelwood sent this?” Though she sounded suspicious, a smile was beginning to crack on the grey mouse’s face. Finally, she could get out of this digging thing.

“Gotta love Hazelwood, eh?” Larx smiled and hopped up onto the wood barrier clumsily. She quickly scattered some pebbles from the dam to stop the flow of water even more temporarily. “Hey, guys!” Larx was dropping all the formalities, and Nera could see why. It was Highwhisker’s job to be formal and detached. It was the others’ jobs to act like they really cared. Nera smiled even wider at Larx’s laugh, a carefree one that reminded her of a hopper. “We can head back!”

“Who told you this?” the same old mouse spoke up. She never told anyone her name for some reason.

“Hazelwood did,” Larx spat back. Larx giggled again, wiping mud off of her forelegs.

“So he is better than the ‘Whiskers.” And the mouse looked like she had the right to judge. She must’ve lived through at least three. “Well, I say we go.”

Zekarie chuckled, but looked at his paw grimly. “Was it up to a vote?” The soil was beginning to mix to a reddish shade. “Go on.”

Larx smiled with Zekarie. “You guys go, and send this message to Highwhisker when he leaves. We’re the mice of this city, and there are more of us than there are him. Okay?”

“Okay,” Nera whispered. She took a look at Illene, the dirty blonde mouse smiling at her.

Nera waded through the mud, trying to get close to Illene. “Alright, Illene. I’m going to be the first that-” She was cut off by lightning flashing through the sky. It wasn’t even a second after the purple streak flashed, that the rumble of thunder echoed through the city. “I’ll be the first of the Burrowers that tells Highwhisker that.” Even on a piece of wood, Hazelwood could convince any mouse.

“Not so fast,” a voice said. Nera whirled around to see Larx. “Though you’ve got the true Burrowers’ attitude, be careful. It could get you into trouble.”

Nera nodded, but didn’t understand. Her yellow eyes flickered uncertainly. “Alright,” she said. But she couldn’t get into trouble for acting like herself. “I get it, Pineclaw.” With another uncertain nod of her head, Nera turned back. She then began to run, or wade, through the mud towards the complex. She twitched her ears and looked back at Illene, who was cringing with every slow step through the mud. “You coming, Illene?”

She raised her head, dark brown eyes shining. “Course I am. I’m just not as fast as you.”

Nera closed her yellow eyes. “Well, I’m going ahead anyways. Meet you at the complex.

***

“You think you’re so funny don’t ya?” Roz said, smiling at Ketani. He lifted his ears above his head and was trying to cross them over.

“I think I…” The idea of telling Rozalin made Ketani lose his own grin. “Maybe I am.” Once more he acted like a leader should. He wasn’t a hopper, he was the leader of this city. He shouldn’t act so undignified.

Roz’s blonde fur was barely visible in the darkness of the complex, but he could see it beginning to bristle. “Look,” she said, “I know that you’re all concerned and whatnot about the rebellion, but you have to understand this, Ketani.”

“Understand what?” Ketani straightened his ears out. He wasn’t silly any more.

“You are the leader of this city. This rebellion is entirely your fault,” Rozalin said.

“Excuse me?” Ketani asked.

Behind the wooden desk of the Leaders’ office, Roz stood up. “Much as I hate the Guildless idea, Morlyle has a point.” She blinked, and tilted her head towards the ceiling. “You have to beat the nail sticking up…” Rozalin paused as she drove her paw into the table, making a small thud as it connected to the wood. “Down.”

Ketani sighed. It would definitely be best if she wasn’t on the expedition.

Roz flicked her ears irritably. “You listen to me, Ketani. This is you’re city, nobody’s your boss. Start acting like it.

As the thunder rumbled outside, Ketani found himself lowering his ears at Roz’s commanding voice. “I know, Roz, but-”

Don’t let anybody try to take your position. If you’ve oughta show your power, then so be it.” Her paw was clenched so hard that the red pock marks of her claws were visible on her skin.

Ketani immediately stood up, understanding completely what she meant. “I’ve killed enough mice in my time, Rozalin. I’m a Wolf Plains mouse, not a Frozenmoon one.” He stopped, chestnut fur bristling. “Correct me if I’m wrong, Rozalin, but Wolf Plains mice are innocents.”

“They’re trying to take your position and trying to kill you. Frogscat, they’re innocent,” Roz said, a baleful glint in her eyes.

Ketani tried as hard as he could to not respond to Roz’s words, but her words blazed in her mind, morphing worse and worse every time they repeated. “They’re free mice, Roz. I’m not a slaver, or some totalitarian. I only keep order around the city.”

Roz’s laugh was clearly audible. It wasn’t a simple laugh, like when a mouse hears a joke, but a sneer. “Order. Yeah, and I’m the ‘Whisker. Tell the Guildless out there in the city this. They’ll probably laugh harder.” Roz unclenched her paw, and held it onto the table. “You want to see real order? For sixteen seasons now, twenty if you count how long I was the trainer, I’ve kept order in this Guild. And they’re the rowdiest bunch from here to Saldiro.” Roz shrugged. “But hey. What do I know about leadership?”

Ketani breathed in deeply. He couldn’t burst out again like when he sent the Burrowers out. “I’m not questioning anything, but I’m not killing anyone.”

It was Roz’s turn not to listen. “You’ve had a pretty good break from responsibility. Think you’ve got an entire city on your back, Highfeather,” as she spoke, Roz looked like she tried her hardest to keep calm. She was failing. “But truly, all you’re supposed to do is ‘keep order.’ Even then, you’re pretty laughable.” Roz’s paw reached under her table, and as lightning flashed through branches and planks to light the room in violet light, the glint of cold steel was seen.

Blood as cold as ice coursed through Ketani’s veins at the sight. “What is that?”

“So I don’t get tempted,” she muttered, standing up behind the desk. A whir was heard right past Ketani’s ears, and then the thin blade of the sword was embedded into the wood, where it wriggled for a second before hitting a full stop.

Roz glared in silence. Finally she spoke as she sat down. She was calmer, but the fierce light of a warrior was in her eyes. “Take my advice or not, Ketani, you’re going to get killed. I won’t be the one to do it, but keep your eyes open and your ears up. Cause you aren’t going to die in your sleep like Shalewhisker.”

Ketani didn’t say anything. He just sat there silently. “It doesn’t matter if they’re going to kill me, Roz. I’ve seen enough dead bodies for a life time.” Images of Juniper dying flashed through his mind. He clenched his jaw, trying to avoid the jolt of pain that shot through his once-broken jaw for it though. “And I’m a mouse just like any other.”

Roz didn’t respond. The sound of her teeth grinding was audible against the rain outside.

“Then you could leave. I try to help, but you won’t listen.”

Suddenly, something skittered away, the flurry of paws clearly heard. Ketani turned towards the entrance of the office, but he couldn’t hear anything.

“Then good evening, Rozalin,” Ketani said, hurt. “It’s nice to know that you’re one of them.” He stood up, and casting her an icy glare, left the office. It was darker in the thick branches, but Ketani knew the complex by heart.

“And just what are you going to do about Hazelwood?” Roz called back, the resentment thick in her voice. Highwhisker didn’t answer. He just held his paws out and followed the tunnels, at least to the soaking wet common room.

“H-Hey, Highwhisker,” someone whispered to him. He couldn’t recognize it, expect that it was a female’s voice. He turned towards the voice, but it was pitch black. All he could see were yellow shimmers for eyes.

“Yes?”

She hesitated. “We’re the mice of this city, and there are more of us than there are you.” Her voice grew louder, but still unrecognizable. “From us, the Wolf Plains mice.”

Ketani nodded, trying to avoid the lump in his throat. He took steps back from the young mouse, at least where the voice was coming from. He took quick-paced steps away and then began to jog away from it. He stopped at the common room, where fifty mice started walking in. All of them gave him hateful stares. Highwhisker didn’t care. He just started to run through the crowd.

Then the mice started talking to him. “We’re the mice, Highwhisker,” A black mouse so old she should’ve been ‘retired’ seasons ago whispered, hatred blazing in her now-white eyes.

“There are more of us,” another whispered, his dark brown fur bristled in anger.

“Then there are of you,” another spat. He glared and took a kick to Highwhisker’s legs. Ketani just had to focus on the exit. The entrance, a brown porthole of wood. Yet the whispers kept coming. The same message that the voice in the hallways gave him. He closed his eyes tight and ran with all his speed, a tower over the mice. The splatter of rain hit his face, and Ketani opened his eyes to see the bridge connecting the mice from the ground to the complex. Below him was a lake, but that didn’t matter. All that did was that he was out.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Greetings Maddie Mouse! I have come to save yet another of your pieces from the clutches of the Green Room.

Onward to the review, in the name of the Knights of the Green Room and the banner of the Noble Hearts!

I can clearly see improvement from the previous piece. This one gives a nice perspective on Highwhisker, and develops the way the reader sees him. He seems a bit weak to me (in comparison with Tyranos for example), but that just helps the reader remember Highwhisker in future posts.

You’ll be sending us on a wild duck chase


Unless there is some special significance of the duck, it should be a "wild goose chase".

You seem to have a lot of characters in your novel, which is fine, but please remember to make each of them unique, and to describe their personalities and appearances. Otherwise you're overloading the reader with hundreds of name, and we can't remember who half of them are.

I agree with Dragongirl that your chapter lengths are adequate, and that you end them at the right spots. Just remember that longer works tend not to get reviews, so feel free to split your chapters into parts.

Overall this is a nice piece, rich with descriptions and good dialogue. I therefore rate it 8 outof ten. Great job!!

I hope to see more of your works in the future,
The Wandering Wizard, Knight of the Green Room and officer of the Noble Hearts.

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Dragongirl
Review

Hey Dragongirl back for more! :)

I keep reading these out of order but I am still enjoying them. The length of you chapters are good length and you have a knack for ending them in just the right spots.

This is more than I have read about Highwhisker so far and I don't know what to think of him. He seems weak but I like the fact that he has done bad things in his life and he is tired of the blood shed. It adds an element of realism to your story. To have a character who is so crippled by guilt that he can not fulfill the very place he fought for is all kinds of awesome twistedness

He couldn’t tell whether she was mocking him or not, but the chestnut mouse wouldn’t stir calm waters.


I thought that last bit was hilarious. We've all been in that spot before.

“We can go over it. You’ll be sending us on a wild duck chase,” a silver mouse named Zekarie, said.


I do believe it is a wild goose chase. :)

Don’t let anybody try to take your position. If you’ve oughta show your power, then so be it.” Her paw was clenched so hard that the red pock marks of her claws were visible on her skin.


I liked the 'pock marks of her claws' line. It created an great metal picture.

“They’re trying to take your position and trying to kill you. Frogscat, they’re innocent,” Roz said, a baleful glint in her eyes.


Hehe, snort...Frogscat...haha, funny word. :)

Good job.

Thanks for posting your story for others to enjoy your world.

DG



mashed potatoes are v a l i d
— Liminality