I’m at my lowest point
Because of you
You push me out of bed
And off a cliff
I would live for you
And die for you
You're the only thing that matters
The only voice in my head
The only music in my ears
The only gleam in my eye
And I cry to the alleyway
Confess all to the rain
But I lie straight to the mirror
The one I've broken to match my face
You only see my real smile
Because when you’re not around, its fake
I love you
If only you felt the same
I could be happy all the time
I can't sink any lower
But you can pull me up
So I ask
For you madam, to help me rise
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,878 Literary Works • 672,785 Reviews
Hello! Here for a review.
I really liked this poem! Very well done. I can't say anything like this has happened to me so I can't relate but I know some many people who could. I like the feel of the poem. The title makes it seem like the writer is defeated but when you read it that's not the story at all. I get a slightly hopeful feeling. Like when you meet a person but they haven't quite noticed you yet. I could be way wrong but that's the feeling I get. I really don't have anything to critique. The poem ran smoothly and easily understandable. So thank you for the read. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Interesting piece and intriguing title. The tone of the narrator doesn't quite sound defeated despite the title of the poem. Some of the lines are overly dramatic, as if the speaker is exaggerating to get the attention of the person the poem is for. "you push me out of bed/and off a cliff" gives an interesting visual. Like the speaker doesn't really have control but rather lends it over to whoever they're talking to.
Interesting piece, good effort.
Thanks for sharing.
-Dream
Truly lovely poem, definitely worth the read