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Romeo & Juliet: Instant Messaging Edition

by Celdover


This was so totally an English assignment.

Act I: Tibalt and Juliet

Tibalt: Yo, Juliet.

Juliet: ‘Sup, cuz?

Tibalt: Wel I wuz ch@n wit Abraham n do u wnt to kno wut those gud fer nuttin mntagues did in Verona 2day?

Juliet: Wut?

Tibalt: 1 of them flipped the finger n mocked us Capulets!

Juliet: NO WAI!

Tibalt: YA! RLY! He wuz Tweeting as it happened.

Juliet: OMG

Tibalt: I KNO!

Juliet: Srry I g2g. Mom is calling.

Tibalt: K. TTYL

Juliet: TTYL

Act I: Benvolio and Mercutio

Mercutio1594: So wuts up wit Romeo boy?

Benvolio: Ah, he seems to be in quite the predicament. See, he fell in love with a nun.

Mercutio1594: OIC. Remnds me o the time wen I had a luv uffair wit a membr of the clerjee.

Benvolio: You misspelled “clergy.” And you had a love affair with a priest?

Mercutio1594: EW NO!

Benvolio: A monk, then?

Mercutio1594:

Benvolio: Mercutio?

Mercutio1594 has put you on ignore.

Act II: Romeo and Juliet

Romeo: Hi.

Juliet: Who r u?

Romeo: I am your knight in shining armor, my lady, the one who shall always be by your side no matter the danger, for my heart has hopelessly fallen for your grace and beauty. Yes, those eyes of yours twinkle like the brightest stars and your cheeks – as well as the rest of your face - put those stars to shame. I would love nothing more tha--

Juliet: …?

Romeo: Ah, my apologies. I typed too many characters and it cut me off.

Juliet: Thts wut ch@speek is 4.

Romeo: But I would not dare to speak so informally to my one true love, especially since it is our first time conversing.

Juliet: Dnt wry. Its cool.

Say, rnt u tht mntague who wuz @ the parT?

Romeo: I shall be a Montague if you wish.

Juliet: Thts not rly helpful.

How did u get this # neway?

Romeo: True love knows no bounds, my angel.

Juliet: Is tht so, my prince? Thn I hope 1 as devoted as u wil not mind me askin a small favor.

Romeo: Anything for you, my dear.

Juliet: Y dnt u cum to my bedroom blcony 2night? If tru luv is as strng as u say it is u shuld hav no truble getting heer.

Romeo: Truth be told, my fair lady, I’m actually sitting atop the wall to the Capulet orchard.

Juliet: NO WAI! Lemme look!

OICU! HIIII!!! :DDDDDD

Romeo: Fear not, dear angel, I shall be at your side in the blink of an eye.

Juliet: K. Looking 4ward 2 it! :D

Act III: Benvolio and Mercutio

Mercutio1594: OMG BENVOLIO HELP ME!11!!1!111!!1!!!!

Benvolio: Mercutio? No longer ignoring me, I see. What ails you, pray tell?

Mercutio1594: I’VE BIN STABBED!!!!!1111!1!!1!!!1!11

Benvolio: Correction: been.

And go find a doctor.

Mercutio1594: Dude, not funy!

Benvolio: Mercutio. Go. Find. A. Doctor.

Mercutio1594: A plague on both your houses!

Benvolio: …What did I do to you?

Mercutio1594: O srry wrng ch@ windw.

Benvolio: I see. Well, good luck with your boo-boo.

Mercutio?

Mercutio1594 has been disconnected.

Act V: Paris vs. Romeo

Paris: YOU! Out of all the people I could meet at this holy place the least likely has shown his face! Begone, malefactor! I shall not allow you to vandalize the grave of my late love.

Romeo: Hah! Juliet would never love a fool such as you! If anything I should be the one stopping you from vandalizing her final resting place.

Paris: I see. So that’s the way it has to be. Very well, then! We shall settle this like gentlemen!

Romeo: I concur!

Paris: I roll a sixteen.

Romeo: I got a four.

Paris: Hah! Initiative, cur! Havat thee! I roll a fourteen! A hit!

Romeo: Trees! Plus five to dodge!

Paris: Clever convict. I miss!

Romeo: An opening! I lunge for attack. A natural twenty! Eat charisma-based damage, gentle man!

Paris: AGH! I see you have an affinity for word play, my advocacy, but I, too, am of the dashing swordsman class. I retreat! Thirty feet per round movement rate.

Romeo: Curses! I only have twenty-five. I pursue for fifty feet! Spot check! Nothing? I move on.

Paris: Initiative bonus! I attack from the bushes. A nineteen! What’s the matter, Romeo? Disappointed that I now have a hedge against you?

Romeo: NGH! Not as disappointed as I would be if I lacked a limb trimmer! Attack! A nineteen. Critical hit!

Paris: AAAAGGGGHHH!

Romeo: Any last words before your hit point total reaches negative ten?

Paris: My only wish… Is that I be buried beside… my beloved Juliet…

Paris has been disconnected.

Romeo: You fought honorably, my rival, as a true dashing swordsman should. I shall do as you ask.

Romeo took Paris’ phone.


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Fri Oct 09, 2020 4:48 am
rida says...



This is the funniest thing I have EVER read.




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Fri Oct 09, 2020 4:48 am
rida says...



This is the funniest thing I have EVER read.




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Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:22 am
EvaR14 says...



This is really funny - it reminds me of how people I know text. I love the mix of Shakespearean language and the sort of modern slang we use now (plus, the fact that people are disconnected when they die is hilarious).
Props for writing this, it's really great :)




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Tue Mar 24, 2020 12:22 am
EvaR14 says...



This is really funny - it reminds me of how people I know text. I love the mix of Shakespearean language and the sort of modern slang we use now (plus, the fact that people are disconnected when they die is hilarious).
Props for writing this, it's really great :)




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Mon Dec 16, 2019 6:24 pm
elyshalale says...



Pleaseee. I need more lol. This is funny, I think you should also mention how Juliet is 13 as well.




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Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:31 am
Vulcanite says...



I like this I am dancing to a song from Romeo & Juliet it is for a concert.




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Sun May 20, 2018 6:46 pm
lelu says...



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA






xD




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Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:49 pm
Bellarke wrote a review...



Wow This is good. It is hilarious. And so true. I love how you put that it is messaging in in the title. I loved how you set it up, and how it makes sense. It is how me and my friends talk to each other.

Best part is:

"Tibalt: Yo, Juliet.

Juliet: ‘Sup, cuz?

Tibalt: Wel I wuz ch@n wit Abraham n do u wnt to kno wut those gud fer nuttin mntagues did in Verona 2day?

Juliet: Wut?

Tibalt: 1 of them flipped the finger n mocked us Capulets!

Juliet: NO WAI!

Tibalt: YA! RLY! He wuz Tweeting as it happened.

Juliet: OMG

Tibalt: I KNO!

Juliet: Srry I g2g. Mom is calling.

Tibalt: K. TTYL

Juliet: TTYL

Act I: Benvolio and Mercutio

Mercutio1594: So wuts up wit Romeo boy?

Benvolio: Ah, he seems to be in quite the predicament. See, he fell in love with a nun."

That is freaking funny!!!!! Good job!!!!!!!!!! This is like, no offence to anyone else, this is the best that I have read so far!!!




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Thu Jan 04, 2018 10:17 am
Danni88 wrote a review...



Haha! So funny! XD I love this. Props to you for having the brilliancy to invent such a ridiculous, fantastic, hilarious thing! I love the amazing end sentence and the fact people get disconnected when they die. In fact, it could be the YWS chat they were using!
Oh, also Tibalt is actually spelt Tybalt. Just to let you know.




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Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:46 am
DarshayataDeka says...



Funny and original. Loved it.




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Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:48 pm
AlexOfLight says...



Ha ha ha! So funny! XD (Dies from laughing too hard)




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Wed Jun 22, 2016 7:11 pm
Laurenh6 says...



This is sooo awesome and original and I completely love the way in which you have put your own spin on this. You've made it totally original and amusing. I love Act 2 - that made me chuckle. So yeah, keep up this kind of thing because it's pretty creative - so well doneeee!




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Mon Apr 18, 2016 3:42 pm



AMAZING! I've read this many a times.




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Thu Sep 24, 2015 12:00 am
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SkyeWalker says...



*sigh*

again.

Still funny tho




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Wed Sep 23, 2015 11:51 pm
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yellow says...



And for the third (probably more) time ever, this has found it's way to the Literary Spotlight.




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Wed Sep 23, 2015 6:15 pm
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elysian says...



still chilling in the Literary Spotlight, I see. Is this the most "liked" work in the history of YWS?




Kale says...


Yes.



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Wed Sep 23, 2015 3:04 pm
ChiravianSkies says...



Pfft. I don't even own a cell phone and understand every inch of chatspeak. This is actually mundane compared to ttyl's chatspeak. (Entire novel written in it.) Great story by the way. :)




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Wed Sep 23, 2015 1:36 pm
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lostthought says...



Can we discuss how this is over four years old but keeps hitting up the spotlight?




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Tue Sep 22, 2015 10:42 am
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Pompadour says...



I want to 'like' this again.




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Mon May 04, 2015 6:28 pm
Konijn says...



Truly brilliant :D




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Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:51 am
RavenLord wrote a review...



Okay, that was totally AWESOME!! I found no errors, though the ch@tspeek was a bit hard to understand at times, as I do not yet own a cellphone. Other than that it was great! I loved the way you made it so most of the dialogue was texting! It was really modern, and I love it when people take something like Shakespeare and turn it into a 21st century setting with modern things like Iphones and things like that! Great job!!!!! :D




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Fri Sep 19, 2014 2:59 pm
Inspiredravens says...



Holy Cow. This is amazing and awesome and perfectly funny. Perfection.




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Fri Sep 19, 2014 1:16 am
CheshireCat13 says...



I'm a HUGE Shakespeare lover!!! I loved this!! It was hilarious!!!!!! I'm pretty sure I was dead by the end of this...




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Thu Sep 18, 2014 11:50 pm
ThereseCricket says...



This was amazing! lol!!!!




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Wed Sep 17, 2014 5:05 pm
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LemisaLeaZeor says...



This....was EPIC!!!




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Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:04 am
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littleking says...



This may never leave the literary spotlight.




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Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:53 pm
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BreeTaylor wrote a review...



This has to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever read in my life... and I love it! Never in my life did I think I'd ever smile nor laugh so hard at a romantic tragedy. The fact that several teens, and even adults, communicate this way is outright funny.
Dear God, the expression on Shakespeare's face if he could know what someone has done to his beloved star-crossed lovers. I bet he's just turning over in his grave.

Yes, but this is wonderfully horrible to me. So monstrous it's brilliant.




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Tue Sep 16, 2014 3:30 pm
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Bloody hell 150 likes? And the first in 2011? How many times has this been bumped?




Celdover says...


This would be the first time. The first 108 were from when it was posted.



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Tue Sep 16, 2014 5:01 am
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Holysocks says...



That. Was. Awesome.




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Tue Sep 16, 2014 12:18 am
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Astronaut says...



Is this the most liked YWS work ever?




deleted5 says...


I think by far! D:



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Mon Sep 15, 2014 9:32 pm
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BluesClues says...



OMG MERCUTIO'S DEATH SEEN

"Correction: been." Benvolio, no. Omg. "Mercutio1594 has been disconnected."

I love how Romeo's all "I shall woo and win thee, fair lady," and Juliet's like, "Wat bro? Oh hai."

ARE PARIS AND ROMEO PLAYING DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS?

*future English teacher approves*




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Mon Sep 15, 2014 9:16 pm
deleted5 says...



140 likes?????? D:




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Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:54 pm
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DrFeelGood says...



This is creativity at its best!




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Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:01 pm
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queenofscience says...



That was soooooooooooooo funny! That's cool that your English teachers let you do this! It's very witty! Good use of texttalk.... Personaaly, i suck at that!


It was quite entertaing! Keep it up! :)




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Mon Sep 15, 2014 1:25 pm
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ElectraHeart says...



I choked from laughing and then cried. You ruined my makeup, and for that I am thankful! Now excuse me while I go tell all my friends to check this out. XD




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elysian says...



Oh my God xD




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Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:39 pm
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Cithara says...



This is perfection.




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Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:04 am
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SARAHJO says...



Never in my life have I found something so beautiful, so insightful, so utterly ROFL hilarious. This deserves to be written in script for a parody play. I can just hear Shakespeare's ghostly laughter emitting from his grave.
You, my dear, have an amazing talent for comedy. XD




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Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:18 pm
AwesomeSocks wrote a review...



This is WONDERFUL!!!! It made me laugh so hard! I love Romeo and Juliet, but I also love chatspeak fanfictions, so this is great! I definitely hope to read more of your work :)




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Fri Jul 01, 2011 5:29 pm



Woah.
That was intense.
So intense, my brain was blown and I don't know where it went.
I loved every second of it. It was brilliant. Genius.

Keep up the good work! ^_^




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Sun May 29, 2011 12:12 am
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Snoink wrote a review...



Hmmm... I liked this, but I never replied!

Anyway, I really did like this! It was so crazy and bizarre. I kind of loved it. Juliet is such a ditz in this version (even more so!) I love how she disregards Romeo's attempts at poetry and asks him to do the practical instead... she was always more of the practical one, lol. Unlike Romeo, who just poinsoned himself (lame!) she actually drove the dagger in her breast... she's a lot more action-packed, what can I say! And I love the fact that she really epitomizes the whole teenage girl here, like when she learns that Romeo is outside, she does the whole "hiiiiiiii!! :DDDDDD" bit. That little thing is kind of reminiscent of Twilight, in a way... most women would not think that somebody stalking outside their window is romantic in the least, but for some reason, teenage girls like it? I don't quite understand it, but I am not a teenager anymore, so whatever. The only time I really thought that it would be cute wias in the movie "Say Anything" where you had that guy holding the boom box over his head and playing Peter Gabriel's song, "In Your Eyes" really loudly and then going away. Otherwise, it's kind of lame.

(Also, I lied... I like the whole "I'm right outside your door in a slightly creepy way" but in Arms and the Man and Cyrano de Bergerac. But, I will argue that this is not the same as Romeo and Juliet. At all. In other news, you should totally read those plays. They are awesome and funny!)

Anyway, basically I liked this. Oh, and Romeo and his insistence of NOT using chat speak throughout was hilarious. A couple of things I can think you can do to make it better? Do a rickroll in the place. That would be awesome. It has NOTHING to do with the play, mind you, but it would be completely awesome. Also, if you could have a character that says something in chat speak, but the other person doesn't understand what is being said because it's an obscure acronym or slang, that would be awesome. Maybe that's the reason why Juliet misunderstands Romeo!

Nice stuff here, in any case. :D




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Sat May 28, 2011 8:00 pm
kellydddys wrote a review...



i love this is nothing i would have come up with :) GREAT idea my fav act is # 5 :)




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Fri May 27, 2011 5:58 pm
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emmylou1995 says...



Oh my god! A D&D sword fight, epic! I absolutely loved this soooooo much!!!!!!




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Wed May 25, 2011 9:55 pm
emmylove wrote a review...



I know there are already tons of reviews on this, but I hope you read this. I have a few things to say.

1.) I absolutely cannot put into words how much I love the DnD fight. It was beautiful.

2.) I think it's funny that basically everyone across 'Merica in the 9th grade reads Romeo and Juliet at the same time. You posted this right after we had our test, on the same day we watched part of the Leonardo DiCaprio movie version (you know, where he takes acid and everyone is either Romeo, Juliet, or a transvestite?). I bet you're reading To Kill a Mockingbird now, correct?

3.) I also think it's funny how many people referred to The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet as a book/novel. It's a play, folks. Actors acted it on a stage way before anyone could buy the script in book form.

I bet you got an A on this, provided you abided by the rules stated on the rubric your teacher gave you. I found this enjoyable. Good job :)




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Tue May 24, 2011 12:54 am
MUCHO says...



HEY! YOU SHOULD SUBMIT THIS TO PUBLICATION!




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Sun May 22, 2011 11:39 pm
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snowberry23 wrote a review...



Hey, so…not to be that kid, but I didn’t really like this. Sorry, I know that’s a bit harsh, but I have just so happened to read seventeen of Shakespeare’s plays and works and I just found this to be slightly…disrespectful and childish. I could see how anyone who isn’t me could love it, and I will be honest, I had a few laughs here and their but I’m one of those odd minds that understands the dialect in the Victorian old English, but overall good job.
---I didn’t want to leave a mean review, but the whole point of this website is to share what you felt based off a piece, am I wrong? Anyway, this piece did catch my attention and I will say, going against one of my all time favorite writers, this was very well done.
~SnowBerry :D




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Sun May 22, 2011 3:13 pm
skwaag5233 wrote a review...



This is really cool! I never liked romeo and juliet, thought it was probably the most overrated piece of literature out there, but this IM edition makes it sound really cool! While some parts the text messaging doesn't really work out too much it's still really cool (i.e. juliet finding romeo). One thing I would like to say is that sometimes you take the chat talk thing a little too far such as:

Wel I wuz ch@n wit Abraham n do u wnt to kno wut those gud fer nuttin mntagues did in Verona 2day?


OIC. Remnds me o the time wen I had a luv uffair wit a membr of the clerjee.


Y dnt u cum to my bedroom blcony 2night?
<-- that could've used a little prior planning (just saying)

I know you probably did all those on purpose but it does lead the story to be really hard to read sometimes so if you plan to expand on this try not to overdo the text language. Though some things I really liked were the romeo meeting juliet. I loved how you portrayed Romeo's actions toward Juliet. As much as I hated romeo in the book you make him seem somewhat decent in that scene! Also the last act. I love RPGs so I had like a nerdgasm at that point (haha tmi? D:) Keep up the good work my fellow writer!




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Sun May 22, 2011 9:39 am
MellinaProulx1223 wrote a review...



Hi.

I honestly don't know how to give a professional-like comment, but #BF0000 ">I LOVE IT! I love how this is unique, you know, the style of writing and the idea itself. (Duh.)

Well, if you put more "scenes", it would've been better, like what everyone else said here. For me, I think you should put more "scenes" with Romeo and Juliet chatting together.

Yeah, that's all. Thanks for posting this #0040BF ">EPICNESS!




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Sun May 22, 2011 6:43 am



hi.. So read it and I was like laughing my head off!!! Brilliant!! It was extremely funny. Nice thing to give for an assignment.. I bet your teacher had loads of fun too!!! Great work!!
Harshita:)




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Sun May 22, 2011 5:56 am
CuteJackRussell wrote a review...



Hello there,

Personally I really didn't like this. Because the fact is, this actually happened, Juliet did actually die. It is horrible that you would want to turn that into a comical thing. Death isn't something to laugh about in itself, what makes it worse is that one of the supposedly best writers in the history of the world actually wrote this and you still want to mock it further. The idea of turning history into a more humorous thing is inventive, but choosing Romeo and Juliet is a very big mistake. I don't like the fact that you would want to mock both death and a great piece of writing. I also don't think that a messaging edit is good either. Writing is supposed to be a self expression rather than a piece of historical writing being turned into a bit of slang that supposedly comes from the mind of people who lived in the late 1400's. Next time alter the subject and use proper English instead of text language. Overall I didn't really like this but your humor was good, next time base it on something that deserves to be mocked I'm sure you can apply your skills to something better than this.

From CuteJackRussell
p.s. sorry if I sound a bit too harse




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Sat May 21, 2011 8:32 pm
popatemyheart1994 wrote a review...



I actually love this. The word "original" is thrown around this website a lot. I really , one hundred percent feel that this is worthy of that title! It is like a Romeo and Juliet for dummies :). Keep up the good work and I will be looking forward to seeing what else you produce in the future!! Sorry I could not find anything to criticise!! :D
Best Wishes and happy writing!
Popatemyheart




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Sat May 21, 2011 5:49 pm
TylynRae says...



This was positively epic =]. If only all schools put these kinds of assignments to work. Learning would be modern and easy to relate to. =] This was well played and very abstract =] Keep it up.




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Sat May 21, 2011 11:57 am
RoseGryffindor wrote a review...



LIke the tons of other people, I am in total love with this story! I've always imagined what it would be like if Romeo and Juliet were in the Modern Age with cell phones but It never occured to me to write it.
The ending with Tybalt and Romeo was hilarious as was the part with Romeo and Juliet. I liked how when Mercutio said "I Plague on this house!" you changed it so it was put in the wrong chat window. I've done that so many times before too. XD




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Sat May 21, 2011 1:48 am
KCunder wrote a review...



LOL, even though proper grammar is supposed to be on this site it was really good, i had soem trouble figuring out what all the txt lango meant but overall it was awesome, and great, and conti! There should totally be another one, because that on was awesome! Keep writing even it it is txting lango :P lol




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Sat May 21, 2011 12:09 am
Iamnotperfect says...



This is so original and I would so not feel bored to read it again and again, just simply hilarious haha. Good work :)




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Fri May 20, 2011 3:13 am
Nike wrote a review...



I am actually reading Romeo and Juliet in my literature class and thought that this was just hilarious!!! You still put the whole idea of the novel but you got it to be modern for us who don't understand Shakespeare.

Keep Writing!

Nike :)




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Fri May 20, 2011 1:12 am
Kirahh wrote a review...



I loved every moment of this! I laughed so hard I'm still tearing :D
I adored this part though:

Mercutio1594: OMG BENVOLIO HELP ME!11!!1!111!!1!!!!
Benvolio: Mercutio? No longer ignoring me, I see. What ails you, pray tell?
Mercutio1594: I’VE BIN STABBED!!!!!1111!1!!1!!!1!11
Benvolio: Correction: been.
And go find a doctor.
Mercutio1594: Dude, not funy!
Benvolio: Mercutio. Go. Find. A. Doctor.
Mercutio1594: A plague on both your houses!
Benvolio: …What did I do to you?
Mercutio1594: O srry wrng ch@ windw.
Benvolio: I see. Well, good luck with your boo-boo.

Mercutio?

Mercutio1594 has been disconnected.



You have a fantastic mind.
Keep going :)

Kirah




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Thu May 19, 2011 9:55 pm
EmilyofREL says...



Awesome. Funny and creative. This was great to read for the Romeo and Juliet portion of my English final. lol jk. I hope you got an A, because this is amazing :)




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Thu May 19, 2011 7:54 pm
Angela says...



OMFG this is great since we are reading Romeo and Juliet in class and this is EPIC! I kind of want to send this link to the teacher. I think I just might, for giggles.




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Thu May 19, 2011 4:28 pm
spike71294 says...



I wish Shakespeare wrote like this!
<3 <3 <3




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Thu May 19, 2011 7:14 am
IgnisandGlacialis wrote a review...



Incredible! Hilarious! :lol: :lol: :lol:
LOVED it. *likes*
I mean, Romeo and Juliet is a great piece of literature, but it's really awesome to see it as a comedy!
- Ignis :D




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Thu May 19, 2011 6:36 am
laylaflame says...



awesommme:)
pure genius...




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Thu May 19, 2011 5:34 am
Nyx wrote a review...



Hey there,

Not a lot i can say, but I really do like the idea of what you have done. It's creative, funny,and i like the title. (However I did have to look up the text codes, I text in full English :) ) Apart from that i love it and keep it up.


Hope to see more soon




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Thu May 19, 2011 2:01 am
futrwrighter422 wrote a review...



I liked the original but I LOVED this one...so funny, it definitely pulls you in right away. It was a very interesting format. I've read books in letter and email format, this was the first instant messaging one I've ever read. I was laughing all the way through.
Good job!! Hope to read more like this (Maybe create a whole shakespeare series)




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Thu May 19, 2011 1:36 am
DaniWasHere says...



AMAZING. Absolutely, bloody brilliant. This is amusing, and I found it fun to read and pass the time. That being said, I possibly read this five times over, smiling the whole time.




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Thu May 19, 2011 1:25 am
thestorygirl wrote a review...



Personally all of this was hillarious, but I really loved this part.

Paris: YOU! Out of all the people I could meet at this holy place the least likely has shown his face! Begone, malefactor! I shall not allow you to vandalize the grave of my late love.
Romeo: Hah! Juliet would never love a fool such as you! If anything I should be the one stopping you from vandalizing her final resting place.
Paris: I see. So that’s the way it has to be. Very well, then! We shall settle this like gentlemen!
Romeo: I concur!
Paris: I roll a sixteen.
Romeo: I got a four.
Paris: Hah! Initiative, cur! Havat thee! I roll a fourteen! A hit!
Romeo: Trees! Plus five to dodge!
Paris: Clever convict. I miss!
Romeo: An opening! I lunge for attack. A natural twenty! Eat charisma-based damage, gentle man!
Paris: AGH! I see you have an affinity for word play, my advocacy, but I, too, am of the dashing swordsman class. I retreat! Thirty feet per round movement rate.
Romeo: Curses! I only have twenty-five. I pursue for fifty feet! Spot check! Nothing? I move on.
Paris: Initiative bonus! I attack from the bushes. A nineteen! What’s the matter, Romeo? Disappointed that I now have a hedge against you?
Romeo: NGH! Not as disappointed as I would be if I lacked a limb trimmer! Attack! A nineteen. Critical hit!
Paris: AAAAGGGGHHH!
Romeo: Any last words before your hit point total reaches negative ten?
Paris: My only wish… Is that I be buried beside… my beloved Juliet…


I'm not a nitpicky person, and I don't see any mistakes here or anywhere else. Keep writing! A++++++++++++




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Tue May 17, 2011 11:33 pm
michaeld says...



I think that this is truly a genuine piece of work! Although it was a little bit short, I think if you kept on going and wrote more scenes, than it could go pretty far! Keep it up!




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Tue May 17, 2011 9:20 pm
matthewmazer says...



I got done reading this and I thought it was pretty funny. My brother just got done reading the real version for ELA and I let him read it. You should try doing more stuff like this. Love it, especially the humor!!!!!!




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Tue May 17, 2011 8:59 pm
Razcoon says...



Dude. Dude. I freaking love you.

...

I mean it. Liek srsly. (That hurt to type, but I figured it fit in with the whole IM theme. x3)




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Tue May 17, 2011 4:48 pm
Destiny110 says...



I just have one thing to say:

DO MACBETH NEXT! DO MACBETH NEXT! PLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEE!!!!

also, great job on this one! mega thumbs up!

~~Destiny110




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Tue May 17, 2011 3:11 pm
Yanni1995 wrote a review...



#0000FF ">This is so awesome!!!

I swear i loved it. Absolutely amazing work. It was soooooooooooooooo funny as well, the way everything happened.

I especially loved Benvolio's and Mercutio's scenes especially the last one where you said, "Sorry, wrong chat window."
It was so hilarious, then when he died "Mercutio has been disconnected." HA! This is an awesome piece.

I found something though : "Romeo: #FF0000 ">Trees! Plus five to dodge!" -isn't it supposed to be threes and not trees? That's the only mistake I found.

Anyway, great job! Happy writing!




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Tue May 17, 2011 1:55 pm
Amfliflier wrote a review...



Hey there! :)

Okay, I was a little confused, but only because I haven't read or studied their story yet. But I just had to chck this out because of the title! xD I really liked the humor, and how you could tell what was going on evn tho they were tlkn lke this. ;)

Anyway, this was really good. Haha you shoul do more IMming conversations with dfferent people! Now that would be really cool. Great job!

~Amfli
GO TEAM TOXIC NUDIBRANCH! :D




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Tue May 17, 2011 1:31 pm
Sierra wrote a review...



Oh my god. LOVE IT!!!

Benvolio: You misspelled “clergy.” And you had a love affair with a priest?
Mercutio1594: EW NO!
Benvolio: A monk, then?
Mercutio1594: …
Benvolio: Mercutio?

Mercutio1594 has put you on ignore.

My favorite quote. I laughed out loud.
My only tiny little nitpick would be that it's a bit hard to follow if you haven't read the play - guilty as charged. But I still loved it. Romeo having grammatically correct IM's was perfect.

Congrats on the featured, by the way ;)




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Tue May 17, 2011 12:15 pm
Caerulean wrote a review...



O.o What the heck?? This is so hilarious! :D :lol: And really brilliant too! :smt023 I can never do anything like this! xD This really deserves to be featured. ;) I haven't read Romeo and Juliet though so I won't able to make a decent review >.<. Sorry 'bout that.

First of all, the title really caught my attnetion. :D And I'd just love to say that I really enjoyed this work. You did an amazing job on making a modern version of a classic. :smt023 xD The conversations were very natural (in a modern way). xD I just wish you made an Instant Messaging Edition of the entire novel! :D That would be epic, wouldn't you agree? Hehe xD. But that would be asking too much. It's your decision. :)

Well, I've got nothing else to say, really. I didn't find anything that I don't like. I just wished this was longer like what I said earlier. Also, I think it'll be more hilarious if you added the last part...wait, death isn't funny. >.< Oh well.

Never stop writing! :D Let me know if you'll make something like this again!




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Tue May 17, 2011 8:03 am
GiggleGremlin wrote a review...



HI!! I thought this was AMAZING!! Its so creative and funny and awesome and really I would have never thought of doing something like this! I think they should replace the text books and use this if they want kids to understand shakespeare =D I really love the bit with Mercutio when he sends a ' a plague on both your houses!' on the wrong chat and Romeo when he runs out of room to write. I thought it was hilarious. It sounds like you had fun writing this! Its opened my mind to think outside the box =) Also the title made it really interesting and me curious. I thought this was great! I loved reading it!! Keep us updated with more =D




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Tue May 17, 2011 2:06 am
sarebear says...



Fantastic job! I loved this, and my english teacher asked to see it!




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Tue May 17, 2011 2:05 am
VousEsEtonnant wrote a review...



The ponly thing that bothered me was juliet. I mean, the entire thing is a letter to her parents about how she fell in love and pretended to die then ended up dying herself. For real. The story truely is a tragedy. It is a lesson covered in dead bodies. And you utterly lost that, especially with juliet. You turn it into a comical thing. A spoof, almost. You mock what is a piece of liturature that is writtin by who is quite arguably one of the greatest writers out there! I hate that. If youre going to comcalize something, at least do it to something that deserves to be spoofed. In honesty, the modernizing of these characters utterly and completely loses the air that writing got back then. The mystical beauty, the mysterious essence. Lost. I personally hate this. To me, you ruined romeo and juliet. But, seeing as everyoje else doesnt seem to mind a mangled story, that is all I shall say. Good chatspeak, punctuation, "dialogue" . . . It was correct, as far as spelling spacing and such goes. I do not mean to be men. But this fills me with passion. I reacted rashly possibly. But still. . . . . How could you do that to such an amazing book? *sighs* sorry. I just cant hdlp it.




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Tue May 17, 2011 2:04 am
Nutty says...



A D&D swordfight? Epic win.




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Tue May 17, 2011 1:53 am
XxMattxX wrote a review...



LOVELY WORK

It just so happens that I am currently doing a report and annotating the play in my literature class in school... so I get everything in a way that you wouldn't imagine..

Very, very creative and cool....

Lovely Job!
Keep writing!
-----------------
-Jojo




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Tue May 17, 2011 1:42 am
BluesClues says...



This made my day. Thank you for posting it, and thank you to your English teacher who made you write it!

~Blue




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Tue May 17, 2011 1:00 am
blondeshorty01 wrote a review...



I ADRED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D you are like my hero!!!! and did anyone else think that teh last part,
" Initiative bonus! I attack from the bushes. A nineteen! What’s the matter, Romeo? Disappointed that I now have a hedge against you?
Romeo: NGH! Not as disappointed as I would be if I lacked a limb trimmer! Attack! A nineteen. Critical hit!
Paris: AAAAGGGGHHH!
Romeo: Any last words before your hit point total reaches negative ten?"
sounded like a video game you used to play??? XD (i know that was teh point, and i laughed so hard!!!!)




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Tue May 17, 2011 12:39 am
lele253isme says...



This.was.Awesome. Great idea and pretty funny, too!!!!




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Mon May 16, 2011 9:33 pm
paperbackheart wrote a review...



First off, I love Mercutio and Benevolio. Heehee that was so awesome. Ben and Merc were my favorite characters in the original play. My suggestion would be to put the setting in the top also. I liked the chat speak but sometimes I thought you were being a bit obnoxious with it. I reccomend using the shortened versions but not the numbers and symbols (except for # because that is real) because no one uses them. Seriously. I chat with a lot of people and I have not come across someone who used it that much. I also would like to see more love between Romeo and Juliet. I also want to see Merc and Tybalt's opening scene. Heehee the internet is really amazing for this. I liked that you did this. It was a lot easier to understand. Good job. I hope I can see all the scenes. :D Adios!

Oh and you forgot smiley signs. They always make it better.




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Mon May 16, 2011 7:33 pm
silentwords wrote a review...



Ahahahah, I loved this! It was very entertaing and amusing... eesh never knew I could actually enjoy reading shakespeare this much :P
This is a really unique assignment, and I wish my school did stuff like this. Anyways, I loved the piece (:

I just have two suggestions/concerns:
1. The first conversation between Juliet and Tybalt was a little confusing to read at some parts. I think you could get rid of some of the short forms, because I don't think someone would actually type like that (well that's only my opinion anyway)
2. The last conversation between Romeo and Paris was also kind of confusing. What were they doing? I got the gist of what was happening, but I'm still not entirely sure what they were playing? (they were playing some sort of game right?)
Anyways, I think you should just make that a little clearer. Perhaps have one of them say how they are going to battle it out for Juliet.

Also, I just wanted to mention that I absoluetely adored your version of Benvolio. Ahahaha, he is so sarcastic, yet serious at the same time. Loved him! The first conversation between him and Mercutio was my favourite. Awesome work! (:




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Mon May 16, 2011 7:32 pm
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PandaAiKorai wrote a review...



HILARIOUS! I even showed my friend, we couldn't cease laughing! This is one of the most creative interpretation of Romeo & Juliet I've read!

Favorite quote #1 :

Benvolio: You misspelled “clergy.” And you had a love affair with a priest?
Mercutio1594: EW NO!
Benvolio: A monk, then?
Mercutio1594: …
Benvolio: Mercutio?

Mercutio1594 has put you on ignore.


Favorite quote #2 :

Romeo: Truth be told, my fair lady, I’m actually sitting atop the wall to the Capulet orchard.
Juliet: NO WAI! Lemme look!
OICU! HIIII!!! :DDDDDD
Romeo: Fear not, dear angel, I shall be at your side in the blink of an eye.
Juliet: K. Looking 4ward 2 it! :D


You should be featured. x) Keep writing.

~Panda;;




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Mon May 16, 2011 6:54 pm
Kagi wrote a review...



Hey,
If you don't mind, I'll review for you today.

The title kind of caught my atention as I've just finished looking over Romeo and Juliet in hell of detail for my leaving school exams. Thats irrelevant though as I'm here to dump some hopefully helpful words on you.
Well, on your story. :lol:

Alright, Firstly-Even if it was an assignment I found this quite a unique post and one I haven't seen around before. I thought, it funny, informative and attractive, in it's presentation and general idea. You really pulled it together quite well and even though, it was short it seemed to end alright. The only thing I'd say is that, as we know, Romeo and Juliet is based on love, passion, desire and more love. There was really nothing about any passion or love in this at all.
I mean, I know it's hard to interpret such deep emotions into instant messaging but it's not hard enough not to have any at all.

What I would try and do, is work on adding in another glimpse of the play but with more connection with the play itself and of course, the charchters that the great William Shakespere created. That way, we'll be able to understand Romeo and Juliet better in a fun way, as you really got that humorous side across while giving a good dose of information.

As a critique, I'd say you need to polish this a bit. Too much exclamation marks can make things look real tacky!!!! Which isn't the look you really want. Also, I know quite a bit about text talk, but at the beginning your chat was sometimes quite confusing. Remember that, even though it's a fun piece, it also has to be neat, professional and easy enough to understand and read.

So, to finish I'll just add a bit of advice. Try and give as much information as you can, as the way you wrote this was quite enjoyable but needs a good bit of editing and looking over. I would suggest you, re-read and edit. Hopefully then you'll have a fun, neat and tidy, understandable and very effective way of portraying the lives of Romeo and his beloved Juliet.

All in all, its a good idea that hasn't yet been let fill its full potential. In time, it could be so I hope you work hard and improve on it.

Good luck!

Of course, if this reviews leaves you with any questions please leave a comment on my wall and I'll explain the best I can.

Keep writing,

Kagi x




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Mon May 16, 2011 6:29 pm
Taria wrote a review...



I loved it!
I honestly just finished reading romeo and juliet so it's funny to see this up here x)
I agree with ErBear, It would be awesome to see some more of this^^
My favorite part was the last one, I was laughing so hard at the 'duel' soooo good x)
but yeah again (because one time is not enough for this awesomeness) I LOVED IT <3




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Mon May 16, 2011 5:50 pm
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ErBear wrote a review...



YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS.

Fantastic. Literally fantastic.

I really have nothing to change, other than the fact that it's Tybalt, not Tibalt. That might be on purpose, though, because it's his screen name.

Oh, Romeo and Juliet in chat speak. I give it an A+.

Do you think you could do more scenes? While this is good for an assignment, I (and many others) would love it if you maybe went through the play and added the most important scenes? I think Nurse, Friar, the Capulets and Montagues, and the Prince should be previewed, if you decide to add.

Genuine HILARITY, darling. Love it.

~Taylor





It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
— Mark Twain