I stare upon your slight frame, your hallowed features flush with the world's will. Never will you know my devotion to your simplistic twirls, my obsession with your masterful steps. Your footfall graced by the ever flowing march of poignant notes metallic in series, devoid of meaning. How I wish your stance were not ruled by melancholy composition, not dictated by pianists lost. What emotion lay behind emotionless eyes, glassy with the bliss of innocence. Perhaps if you understood how the world twisted, your clockwork would fail and cease the beat of your heart. Your hope eternally encased under a tarnished lid, your simplistic twirls trapped in the void of a music box; empty through and through.
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129,528 Literary Works • 671,508 Reviews
Hello CatInTheShower!
Happy Review Day by the way!
I'm ILoveBooks123 from Team SassyLadyBugs!
Okay I get the poem already. I like it, how amusing and interesting after all.
Shall we start with the review?
Okay I have to say is, Great work with all those deep words you use with the poem. I like a poem with deep meaning to it and expressing all of those emotions. And i see this on you. You express great emotions. Proud of you about that!
I want to explain in here is that I'm not really into the format you just used for the poem. But this is not about the format. So lets move one...Anyway there might not be enough rhymes in the poem but I do like it, Just like what I just said above. I really do. Bravo with that.
You express everything so good that I can't help but feel touch about this! I occasionally find emotional poems and seriously this is one of my favorite among them. Continue with writing so many emotional poems. You express everything so good.
I just want to suggest that maybe you can use another format for your poems? And just continue with your deep words and deep meaning for every poems you have. I'm already inspired by you and I hope I can be a great poem writer too. I like every part of this.
So all in all....I just dont like the poem but I love it! Magnificent! 10/10!
Okay that's all!
-ILoveBooks123
Welcome to YWS
you just gotta format it . That being said, I really enjoyed reading this piece and the comparison to music really made me "nerd out " (yay band) . The poem really gains a whole new clarity if you read it a second time knowing that it's actually a tiny dancer, which is so cute and fun . I like how she doll symbolized innocence and hope and for m that's also something I personally associate with music which really added to it . It was tragic and , might I say, very well done how you incorporated the worlds corruptness in this writing about a sweet little music box.
see what formatting does !
AH so she is a ballerina in a music box. How interesting.
Reviewing for Team WHY?
The talent on this site never ceases to amaze me, bravo. This could totally be a poem
Nice , no nitpicks but it could be a poem
~Kat
Dear CatInTheShower,
I would however, still encourage you to keep writing, you can only improve darling, so go ahead! 
On revision,
This piece lacks the certain style, finesse and all round character of your first piece. Viva La Resistance! I felt your first had more weight and heart in the piece
I think its back to the notebook for you CatInTheShower
Although usually quite well expressed, this piece lacked the emotion needed to portray the intricate feeling associated with said music box. Also, do not repeat emotion and emotionless, too much emotion, in the literal sense.
Inadequate? Nay, disappointing
I would strongly advise reviewing my pieces, in a rose-tinted light... if you understand me
Dear CatInTheShower,
As always, I am riddled with envy while reading you're work, I think this is beautiful, as is all your work. I liked to see the change to "bliss of innocence"!!:P
I still would like you to write in more depth about the hope you mention at the end, because you really need to delve into the description of emotions! The descriptions are perfect as usual, and the whole piece shines with your usual elegant and burnished antique-like style.
But do me a favour and share around the genius will you? Like seriously not fair-_- haha, keep writing! As I'm always telling you!! Laziness shall not prevail!!
You flatter me too much, random stranger from the Internet!
I know, and your ego seems big enough already...not that I'd know it DEFINITELY is or anything...