Young Writers Society

Hey !

I really enjoyed this poem not just because it was based of supernatural (Even though im personally a massive fan of supernatural) but because it shows my belief about God as well ,how God isn't there when things go wrong. My only problem with this poem is in the first stances you repeat the first line twice , if you like it like that carry on . The words did rhyme and they did follow a beat . But don't forget capital letters ! (Sorry im really picky about capital letters). Other than that i love the idea of the poem and how you managed to link it to supernatural.

Hope my feedback helps
-Angel ^--^

I liked this a lot mostly because of how it revolves around the idea of God, which can be explored in several different ways. I felt like you were exploring the question of "is God always good." I don't know if that is what your poem was really about, but that's just the way I interpreted it, so I ultimately think it did great job conveying that curiosity of God to the reader.

Hello there! Unknown391625 here with a review!

First off, great! I have some nitpicks though. In the first stanza, it was unnecessary to repeat the first line and the last line. Same with repeating the same sentence in the last stanza of the first and last lines. Also, you didn't really capitalize any sentence when you started one. Whatever floats your boat though. Otherwise, great! I love it! The formatting is great! You changed the rhyming patterns in each stanza though. Usually, you would stick to one pattern, but multiple patterns aren't really necessary. Anyways, this is a great poem! I really like it! I would like to see more of your poems! Don't give up and always write, Castiel!

-Unknown391625

Happy Review Day!

I totally missed the part where this was a fanfiction poem, and I was like, wow, this sounds like Supernatural. And then I saw your name and I was like, his name is like supernatural. And then I saw your avvie, and I was like, It's Castiel! This poem must have been inspired by supernatural!

And then I saw that it was labeled as fanfction.

So, anyway, you did a great job of making supernatual poetry!

Aside from not logically or religiously making sense my only qip is about your overall structure.
I feel as if you could end each stanza with the introducing line. For example instead of:

where is your god when the heavens are damned?

god does not come now upon priests demand.

Where is your god when we slaughter the lamb?

where is your god when you call and command?




You'd have:


where is your god when the heavens are damned?

god does not come now upon priests demand.

Where is your god when we slaughter the lamb?

where is your god when the heavens are damned?



This presents a much stronger emotional experience (almost a catharsis) through repetition and although I'm usually not a fan of repetition in poetry I think it's warranted in this case.


Keep it up!

This is great! Gives me a good chill, good job.

I love this. The rhyming is SO perfect, and I can't find anything wrong with it. Except maybe that you forgot to capitalize, but I sort of got the feeling that it was intentional. I would like to give you some suggestions, but there is really none that I can give. I love that you made the whole poem in italics, I think it really made it have more of an impact. The last stanza is perfect, it seemed to finalize the poem with dark feelings, and make it even more amazing. I really have nothing bad to say about this.

Awesome work! <3

~BookWolf