Young Writers Society

Hey Carlito! I'm back! As you already know how I work, I'll jump right into it!

It wasn’t abnormal in my world for Jack to have special needs. He was born when I was seven and I was raised loving my brother and thinking he was the coolest, most amazing kid on the planet. But not everyone was raised that way. And to see this guy we’d met literally a minute ago showing so much care and compassion towards Jack and making so much of an effort to include him and make him feel seen, it was enough to make me melt into that puddle.
This was really good. My only thing I want to point out is that many sentences start with the word And or But just like it did twice in this paragraph. The occasional time is okay even though it's generally not something to do but it appears quite frequently. I'll only point out this one though In this particular example, the And wasn't even necessary. The sentence would make sense without it

Really that's the only thing I found so awesome job on that! I'm really enjoying it so far because the main reason I'm no big fan of figure skating is the snobby attitudes that usually accompany it in stories. Zac is for sure not like that at all. He's so cute! You definitely know how to portray a guy that girls will like and for that, I'm hooked XD

You've set a very good setting. I have a clear idea of the surroundings while being totally in love with your characters. Even Liz. I like how she doesn't appear as the typical high school girl or the emo kid or the quiet kid. She has her own personality and I really like that. Your characters are all very distinct from one another and I love them all for different reasons!

Anyways, I'd better stop procrastinating my work over here so I hope this helps!

Keep on writing!
Honora

I'm just going to keep going whilst I'm in the flow of this! Otherwise knowing me I'll totally forget and leave it for weeks... also I'm still procrastinating!

“Oh, that’s nice,” one of the moms said. “They can use those for extra support during the practice time.”

Of course, I had to pass by Junior World medalist Zac on my way to Jack.

Jack flapped away near the boards, so the fun clearly hadn’t worn off for him yet. I made it to him in one piece. He pointed at his skates, made one of his enthusiastic noises, and signed “happy” to me.

“You’re doing so well buddy,” I told him. I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face either seeing him like this. “I’m so glad you’re happy.”

“About life in general or about skating or,” I let the sentence hang.

Jack had his scooter. He was going to beat me around this rink, I knew it already. “Oh, yeah, I think I feel fine.”

“Do you want to keep skating until he comes to us or take a break.”

I tried one little push and didn’t die.

“Here,” Zac offered me his hand. “Just for a little extra balance until you get the hang of it. I won’t let you fall.”

I looked forward to next Saturday when he and I could come here again