Down By the Old Mill Stream

I don't know. Human selfishness. ;p

Hey! ajruby12 here to review.

This is a well thought out poem and very well structured. But, as always, there's a couple things to change to make it just purr-fect! (No idea why I just purred, but.. moving on)

The first two lines don't seem to fit with each other very well. I think there ought to be a line in between them or maybe the second line should be changed a little bit. Also (I never thought I would say this), I think you might have too many commas in your piece. Try putting all the lines together, like you would with a story and then seeing if the punctuation is correct.

And lastly, the very last line, "Why couldn't everything be this good?" I feel ought to be changed somehow. Not entirely sure how, but I'll think over it.

Overall, a lovely poem and I hope to see more from you in the future!
Keep on writing!

-ajruby (The Silver Lady)

Hello!
I really loved this poem. You did a good job using imagery! I could almost see the scene while I was reading it!
"The water rippled off the wood,"
(I can hear it now....)
"Licking the stones,"
I like this part a lot! The water licking the stones....
I only have one little nitpick on this.
"Peace and nature all around,
I dared not make a sound."
For some reason the second line doesn't sound like it fits in with the rhythm of the first line. I don't know... maybe it's just me. It is a beautifully written poem! Keep Writing!!
-SnazzyPencil

This was put together PERFECTLY. I cannot tell you how many poems I've read, and written myself, that just did not work out as well as this one did.
It's not depressing, it's bright, and I love that. Mostly because I'm so dark and mysterious on the inside, and I usually write about really depressing things, which I've been told by my sister 'freaked me the heck out'.
I enjoyed your wording, how you created such beautiful imagery by just putting words together and making them work so well.
One of the way I could tell this was a great poem was that I could close my eyes, literally, and I could see what you were writing. I could see the place, down by the old mill stream. Also, it kind of reminded of of this little area out by my grandpa's pond.
I'd have to say my most favorite line(s) in this was:

"I dared not make a sound,

For any noise would disturb the dream."

Referring to the place as a dream was just remarkable, and beautiful.
And considering the fact that you just joined, like yesterday? Today's the 20th, right? Oh, yep. (Also, WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!)
I find it quite fascinating that you could pull something like this off so soon. When I first joined, I couldn't come up with anything good. Heck, I can't come up with anything very good today, and I joined last year.
Anyways, great job, I'm so happy you shared this with us!
Waiting to see more from you~
Shiny