Hola!
Here to conquer your words & polish your thoughts!
I'm here for a short review. I am very impressed at how you layed out this poem. I really enjoyed reading this except I'd like to admit it was a bit glory just as your warnings. I think this is well written with enjoyable amount of horror and supsense within it. In my opionion you have real beautiful sense of writing a poem, whatever the topic is.
As well as it is written, I have suggestion...
Let's jump in!
His heart aches,
His throat is sore,
His dirty hair, Medusa's snakes
Still he laughs more.
I know it's the flow of the poem but you might wan to add a comma after "Still".
That laughter echoes
On the moldy walls
Fear quickly grows
Inside his guardians souls.
Do you mean "guardians' " or "guardian's" by "gaurdians"?
When he laughs, blood flows
Feasting begins
Among the dark crows
That eat his sins
"eat" needs to be "eats", I think.
That's all! I quite enjoyed reading this beautiful poem. It's an unusual topic you wrote about and I think that's unique.
I would love to review your writings if you ever need someone to!
Thank you for sharing this!
Keep up the writing!
Always smile!
~Chris
Points: 10344
Reviews: 125
Donate