z

Young Writers Society



Midnight Whisper

by BumbleBear


I'm lying in my bed.It's late in the night,
Through my blue curtains streams soft starlight.
I hear it again.That anonymous sound,
It never will cease my soul to astound.

Like a whisper in the night and rain in the day,
Yes rain with it's soft,sweet gentle spray.
It clings to my window, then slides gently down,
I listen in awe as it covers the town.

Like the wings of a bird, beating with care,
Or the night angel singing up in the air.
Like leaves gently swinging down to the ground,
Or a child's tiny feet running around.

I sit up and pull the curtains aback,
To see the world: Cold, dark and black.
It's snowing out there!'Tis true as can be!
The sound captures me.You listen and see.....


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Points: 1085
Reviews: 2

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Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:29 am
BumbleBear says...



Thanks,

Maybe I should have left
"You listen and see..." out.
Now that you say so, It would sound better without it.




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16 Reviews


Points: 2190
Reviews: 16

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Thu Nov 13, 2008 1:27 am
Silent music wrote a review...



I did like this poem. It rhymed and had good rhythym. Maybe you could of seperated the last line apart. It did sound mushy and off balance when two words rhymed in the same line. :D Great job though!




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Points: 890
Reviews: 16

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Wed Nov 12, 2008 6:07 pm
Arashi says...



I loved it but... hey maybe I'm biased I do love snow! lol jk it was a great read but I think maybe you should do something more with the end? Dunno your choice I also thought that the words had nice ring to it. Keep it up





"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."
— Albus Dumbledore