Author's Note: This is a short story I submitted for a contest. Due to a strict word count, I had to remove a lot of content, which resulted in a short story of which I am proud, but which could do with improving. If you want to read the short story as it is being published, then you are reading the correct version, but if you wish to read it as I had intended to write it, please read the extended version.
Elated by the birth of a new day, the heavens shrugged off their black and indigo mourning robes and donned ones of a more jovial nature, pink and gold by preference. Such was the magnificence of their celebratory attire and the vehemence of their rejoicing that no mortal eye could behold it for too long. So instead, the mortal gaze was shifted to the west, where even the stars were departing before the glorious swathes of light.
The splendour was simply too enthralling for some though, as one Ross White could not remove his transfixed gaze from the east. His companion however, one Seth Black, had no such troubles and was as indifferent to the brilliant display as the plane which carried them inexorably to the south. No, Seth Black was too involved with his own thoughts to be bothered by such trivia as the rotation of a planet.
His thoughts encompassed the usual array of mundane subjects, wealth and power naturally being the most prominent. Although, to stereotype him as the usual ambitious human was rather unfair; he was ambitious nevertheless. He desired not power, for power was equal to the influence brought about by wealth, and of that, he had plenty – the private jet carrying him and his friend to Livingstone Maramba Airport was proof enough. No, Seth desired something else. He sought that which had fascinated him and his best friend, Ross, since their childhood: The Fountain of Youth.
Many an adventurer had gone off in search of it, but none had ever been successful. What Seth and Ross believed made their case unique was their disbelief in the Fountain’s presence in Europe or the Americas. If Africa was the “Cradle of Mankind,” then surely that which would grant eternal life was also to be found there? Alas, the duo had yet to find the proof to substantiate their claim.
Seth was a realist and aware of the likelihood of failure, and had suffered many plights; was it not for his optimistic friend’s ever-present encouragement and support, he would have lost hope long ago. Ross had endured many troubles of his own, being descended from a less wealthy family, but not a single complaint was ever heard from him. Seth had always concluded that Ross’ worries were therefore far fewer and of much less consequence, but perhaps, had he been as a good a listener as Ross, his opinion might have differed.
At least Seth readily admitted that Ross had devoted everything he had to their cause. Though Seth did what research he could, it was Ross who spent sleepless nights researching a potential lead. Every attempt had resulted in disappointment hitherto, but it merely glanced off Ross, or so it seemed, and he enthusiastically descended upon the next opportunity which presented itself. It was therefore no surprise when Ross had approached Seth and had belatedly informed him that their greatest chance of finding the Fountain lived in Alexandria.
It was from Alexandria from whence they had departed earlier that morning, and indeed, it seemed that Fate had finally smiled upon the pair. Ross was ecstatic, but Seth had had an apprehensive and dissatisfying sleep.
He glanced at his friend sitting across the aisle. Gazing out of his window and at the azure sky, Ross seemed to be enraptured by cloud formations.
Ice crystals and water vapour, how fascinating.
Seth envied his friend’s ability to find joy in such simple things. Though his ambition was a gift, as it gave him the determination and strength of will to both pursue his goals and achieve them, it was also a curse; he, like so many others, was doomed to live a discontented life, never being satisfied with what they had, forever coveting something else, something more.
It was thoughts such as those that made him melancholic, so Seth put them aside and rather dreamt of his Fountain. The desire to be remembered, to have a legacy, was integrated into human nature, and it was definitely one he hosted.
He would have his place in history, no matter the cost.
II
The marketplace of Alexandria was always bustling, but more so during the summer than at any other time. The two Caucasian boys who strolled through the various stalls simply ignored the cries of the numerous vendors, however, and made directly for the large burgundy tent.
Inside, saffron, cayenne pepper, and other exotic spices were being sold, their wafting scents so strong, one could actually taste it.
Neither heeded the pungent aromas, though Ross seemed as if would have liked to, for they had business to conduct. Careful not to disturb the perusing patrons, the two boys approached the back of the tent, where another section was separated by hanging strings of claret and imperial purple beads which acted as a screen.
The air of the section wherein their contact – The Sphinx – resided was littered with bowls of incense, filling the air with a lovely fragrance and creating an ambience of peace. Upon entering, though they did not realise it, both Seth and Ross had visibly relaxed.
Many handsome artefacts were also scattered across the room, some on tables, others in chests and cabinets, but they were rendered diminutive and insignificant by the regal Egyptian who stood in the middle of the room.
Her hair was black as midnight and cut in the style ancient Egyptian women were often depicted as wearing. Her skin was radiant and smooth as jade. Much gold and turquoise jewellery embellished her hands, arms and neck, and she wore jewelled scarabs as earrings. At a glance, one could tell the gold and crimson garment she wore around her breast was made from silk of the finest quality. Yet her most prominent feature was neither her clothing nor her jewellery – instead of legs, she had the muscular body of a lioness.
The boys’ countenances reflected their inner thoughts; the satisfied Sphinx smiled. ‘You are my scheduled clients for today, Seth Black and Ross White, yes?’
Seth was the first to recover. ‘We are.’
She approached the desk in between her and the duo and sat down. ‘The fact that you are here means you know how valuable my time is. So, of how much value is it to you?’
Seth extracted a small pouch from one of his pockets and emptied the contents onto the desk. Twelve colourless, one-carat diamonds rolled out.
‘Alright,’ she responded, collecting the diamonds and dropping them into a pouch of her own, ‘you have my attention.’ She gestured to the two chairs opposite her. ‘Do sit down.’ The two did as they were instructed. ‘I apologise that you only now have the chance to discuss what you need from me; you must understand, in my business, secrecy is key. So, what may I do for you?’
‘Supposedly,’ Seth replied, ‘you have knowledge of the whereabouts of a certain spring which grants eternal life. We should very much like you to share it with us.’
The Sphinx scoffed. ‘You think twelve shiny peas are enough to purchase such precious information? No, that price you cannot afford. Not for all the diamonds in the–’ She cut off and her eyes grew wide as he produced a fifteen-carat yellow diamond. ‘Only those pure of heart may enter the Fountain…’ she protested weakly.
Seth was about to retort, when Ross proposed, ‘Then accept the diamond, my lady, and ask us a riddle.’
Seth gave him a dirty look, but the Sphinx nodded her affirmation. ‘It satisfies both the old customs and the new; that is wise. Very well, I shall ask you the riddle. You have the opportunity to leave now, with your lives intact, though without your precious stones; however, once I have spoken, you will answer either correctly or incorrectly.
‘In the event of the latter, I shall deem you unworthy and order my guards to kill you both. In the event of the former, you will prove that your hearts are pure, and I shall bless you and leave you to depart for the Fountain of Youth.’
She looked expectantly at the pair, but they did not budge. ‘Please, my lady, ask us the riddle,’ Ross solicited.
The Sphinx nodded. ‘As ages pass, customs pass also; everything adapts. I ask you this: Arnold Schwarzenegger has a large one, Michael J. Fox has a small one, Madonna lacks one, the Pope never uses his, and Bill Clinton uses his unremittingly. What is it?’
Seth seemed ready to answer, but he hesitated; the Sphinx’s glare was more venomous than a thousand asps, and it was trained on him.
While he squirmed, Ross was gazing thoughtfully into space. It was another minute of contemplation before he answered. ‘A surname.’
The Sphinx gazed at him in incredulity, but quickly recovered her composure. She removed an ankh from around her neck, strode to the largest of the cabinets, placed the ankh into the cabinet like a key, and turned it. The doors opened, and from the inside, she collected a plain ash staff. It was not nearly as impressive as anything else in the room was, for it resembled a gnarled old branch. She handed the staff to him.
‘You truly do have a pure heart. Go to Mosi-oa-Tunya, approach it from Livingstone Island, raise the staff above the water, and ask the way to the Fountain to reveal itself to you.’
The boys were ecstatic. ‘Th-thank you, my lady,’ Ross stuttered, barely able to contain his vivacity.
The thrilled pair proceeded to rush out of the tent. The Sphinx called, ‘The Universe strives towards balance, and it will do whatever it must to achieve it!’ out after them, but her words fell on deaf ears.
III
The stairs which led down the gorge were slippery and wet, and I was drenched by the ubiquitous spray. I can understand why the natives called the Victoria Falls “The Smoke that Thunders”.
After our jet had landed in Zambia, Seth and I found ourselves a room at one of the hotels. When night fell, we rented a helicopter and he flew us to the Falls. Though Livingstone Island was relatively flat, landing there during the dead of night was no mean task. Luckily, the moon was full, so we did not have too much trouble.
We had disembarked and approached the gorge, I finding myself astonished by the magnificence of the scene before us. Seth, conversely, was not at all comfortable standing so close to the edge; he had seemed extremely pale, as if he feared that the gorge was the gaping mouth of some leviathan, waiting for us to descend before snapping its jaws shut.
I had lifted the staff above the water and asked the way to the Fountain to reveal itself to us, per the Sphinx’s instructions, but nothing had happened. Seth had muttered something about “bloody cats stealing his rocks” and I had considered repeating the process, but it was proven redundant.
The earth had shook, almost causing Seth and me to plummet down along with the Zambezi, but it had ceased as abruptly as it had begun. Seth and I had picked ourselves up and found before us a staircase leading down into the chasm.
‘You go down first,’ Seth had said, even paler than before. How he was dreadfully afraid of heights, but had no problem flying in jets and helicopters, was beyond my logic.
My foot slipped and I barely managed to hold on. I gazed down and saw some dislodged rocks tumbling down into the watery abyss. Reminding myself not to let my thoughts wander too much, I proceeded with more caution.
The stairs were actually only pieces of rock jutting out of the side of the cliff. Not only was it wet, but some of the rocks also had moss growing on it. I heard Seth curse above me.
‘How much longer does this continue?’ he called.
I stopped descending and searched the face of the cliff. ‘I think I can see a ledge below me. Hold on, I’ll climb down and find out.’ I descended the final part of the treacherous stairs and planted my feet firmly on it. ‘There is a ledge here!’ I called. ‘And it leads to the left!’
I carefully made my way across the ledge, pressing my body as close to the cliff as I could. I emerged onto a larger rocky outcropping which was normally hidden from view by the water rushing past it. In front of me, the entrance to a cave was carved into the cliff.
I whooped exaltedly and spun around to face Seth, who nervously stepped onto the firm rock. A “moonbow” of sorts was visible in the spray behind him.
‘We’ve found it, Seth!’ I rejoiced and embraced him. ‘We’ve found it!’
We had had the good sense to bring our backpacks filled with exploration gear along, so we rummaged in it until we found our flashlights. We switched them on and hastened into the cave.
The cave was only large at first, for soon it narrowed into what was barely a slit. We removed our backpacks and shoved them past in order to continue. It was enough to make anyone claustrophobic, and Seth panicked when he thought he had been stuck.
After following the narrow passage for a few more minutes, we suddenly entered a vast cavern. Glow-worms could be seen across the walls and ceiling, illuminating the cavern. It was a breathtaking vista, as if a million stars had agreed upon inhabiting that tranquil place. Seth and I breathlessly approached the edge, but our zeal was replaced with bewilderment.
Where there was supposed to be a pool, there was naught but a smooth bottom. Evidently, there had been water once, but it was there no longer.
‘I don’t understand,’ I whispered, puzzled. All beauty had suddenly left the cavern.
‘I do.’
My world rocked once more, but that time I did topple over the edge. The bottom was harder than I had originally thought it would be.
I tried to move, but a splitting pain erupted in my head. Trembling, I ignored the agony and flipped over onto my back. My vision was obscured by something scarlet and sticky.
As I was trying to wipe it away, I became aware of a different manner of moisture on my cheek. It was soft and cold.
When I finally succeeded in clearing my vision, I saw that the moisture was coming from the anguished faced above me. Its lips were moving in a bizarre manner, constantly repeating the same shapes. I could not comprehend them.
I did not regard the face or its shapes any further, for I was being lulled to sleep by a divine melody.
It was the angelic sound of trickling water.
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And Happy Birthday to your father!!!
Hi James!!!
Wow. That first paragraph is just splendid. Bravo!
I cannot find any nitpicks, which doesn't surprise me at all.
By the second paragraph, the reader has been exposed to the meaning of the clever title. There's Ross White and Seth Black, best friends with a similar ambition but varying traits and personality. Because you later use the phrase "since their childhood," we know that these characters are adults. Young adults, it seems.
The character of Ross is (quite understandably) more to my liking. He's appreciative and positive, with a drive to discover the Fountain that seems to be more innocent than Seth's, whose motivation is for wealth and notoriety.
The description of the Sphinx was superb! The riddle was a bit easy, I admit, but it was very entertaining.
It's very interesting that you've used three different points of view. It makes the story truly unique.
And now we come to the end of the story... Poor Ross! I was really enjoying his character, which makes it all the more significant that he has been killed by his friend. For what purpose, I know not. Was it all a trap? Was Seth's frightened attitude the result of what he knew was drawing near: the murder of his friend? Was it the only way he could obtain the water? OR... ooh... was the Sphinx in it, too; did she give them an easy riddle on purpose? No, the supernatural events had to be genuine. That had to be the fountain.
I'm sure you have the answer, James, but you have left it wide open for your readers to decide.
This short story was an enthralling read. It was exciting and interesting from start to finish, with imagery that only the great James Hunt could put to paper. Er... screen.
You said that you have another short story coming soon. After reading this masterpiece, I am thirty-six times more excited!
And now, *poof* I have a shiny new star!
Thank you for your shiny review, Wolfie - I appreciate it very much! (Oh, and my father also thanks you for wishing him a happy birthday.)

The Sphinx had called after the two that the Fountain would demand a price. They (or rather Seth) only realised this once they were at the Fountain, but there was no water. Hence, Seth pushed Ross over the edge. He had a change of heart, however, and slid down to be with Ross, but there was nothing he could do. The concluding sentence confirms that Ross dies and that the Fountain accepts his life as payment for immortality.

Firstly, I am glad you liked my opening paragraph. I had risen early specifically so that I could write it at dawn, so I am glad you could share in that beautiful sight.
As for Ross and Seth, you are right: the title is a reference to their surnames, but also to how we consider things. Circumstances are almost never purely black and white, but rather a shade of the two. As you have deduced, Ross was given the surname "White" and Seth the surname "Black" in light of this duality and its symbolism.
I am also delighted that you noticed my continuous change in narrator and point of view. I had written this for a competition, so I tried to employ as many different techniques as I could. I had thought that it might be too much, but clearly you and the judges differed - yay!
Finally, we come to the ending. It is rather open, but if you want more detail, read the spoiler (if you do not and these comments do not allow spoilers, then skip it quickly!):
Spoiler
Once again, thank you for the sparkling review, and thank you for choosing my short story to be your one hundred and fiftieth review. Having said that, congratulations on your new star!
Wow! That is why your first paragraph is so amazing! After reading just that part, the judges probably already had decided who the winner was!

That ending is amazing. It is a whole new twist on the Fountain: sacrificing your best friend (or what ever the price would be for other persons). If you ever do get around to editing this without the word limit, it would be beneficial for the reader and the story's purpose if you could describe it more openly. (For example: emphasizing the Sphinx's warning and Seth's regrets at the end.)
Again, excellent job!
Why, Wolfie, it seems you and I had the very same idea...
You know, given how much is in your portfolio, I'm surprised that there is a single thing it with only two reviews.
This sentence just sounds funny. I think it's because Ross being ecstatic doesn't compare well against Seth's sleep.Anyways, I'll just put in my nitpicks first, and then give the overall comments and compliments.
In the very first paragraph, last sentence, I would reword it so that you drop the 'was' and 'were'. The rest of the paragraph is very direct with its verbs, so it stuck out that you suddenly switched to passive voice. (Unless you did this on purpose?)
Um... what can I say?
In the third part, you used past perfect for a while before switching back to simple past tense. I would have switched to simple past at the paragraph where Seth says 'you go down first', as it makes more sense in terms of the action of the story. (You could also switch earlier, but the point you picked felt awkward, since it was directly after Seth spoke.)
That should be all my nitpicks. Onto the overview!
Um, first, I want to commend you on the riddle. You probably didn't mean for it to be funny, but I really did giggle when I read it.
Also, do you write first person often? Because the scenic details basically died as soon as you started the third part. The beautiful language you had earlier, and all the adjectives and poetic devices were just gone. If that was on purpose, then cool, but I was kind of like "What just happened?"
And lastly, that ending. I know I should expect this sort of thing from a short story, but I was still taken by shock. You did an amazing job with that one. (Even if I still want more pretty language.)
That's it from me. Before I forget, thanks a ton for reviewing my pieces all the time!
Happy Review Day!
-Bug
Thank you for taking the time to review my short story! I would have loved to describe the third part better, but I ran out of words; not as in I could no longer find the words to write, but because the short story competition had listed the maximum number of words as 2500. My short story has 2497 words, and that was after I had to reduce it from 3000.

I am glad you liked the riddle, but I cannot take credit for it. Somebody else devised it, I simply used it in my text.
I am considering describing the third part better, but I shall have to do that somewhere in the future. But still, thank you for your review - I really do appreciate it.
Ah. Those competitions are trick things aren't they?
Hey there, Sounds dropping by for a a few words.
You are an incredible writer. I'm just going to throw that out, not even gonna bother to try to hide it or pretend otherwise. Your way with words is just astonishing and I was pulled in the moment I began reading.
The story was great. I really loved how you built everything up; you have good pacing, and I felt like I had an understanding of the characters and the setting you created. And that riddle, that was pretty good as well; I'll admit my silly mind went for the obvious at first lol The ending was a tad confusing at first, but at the same time I felt it really did give a sense of closure.
Keep up the great work!
Thank you! I just want to make sure, but you do realise that Seth killed Ross, but then regretted it afterwards, don't you? I don't want the conclusion to be too subtle...
I do, yes. I'm just slow this morning lol
Oh, thank goodness! I realise the end may be slightly confusing, and I had hoped it wouldn't be too much so.
Hey there, Icy here for reviewing.
I liked the premise of this a lot, and the way you told the story was interesting although I can't understand why you felt the need to switch to a first person PoV for the third section. As far as I can see it didn't really add anything to the story and just disrupted the flow.
However, I love your use of language, particularly in the first paragraph:
I had a few little nitpicks:
This sentence reads a little oddly, maybe you could play around with rearranging/rewording it?
Intact is only one word.
This seemed very out of place with the setting you used.
I enjoyed reading this; you have an interesting manner of narration
Icy.
Thank you for your review; the points you indicated did help.
Oh, and I actually used three different types of narrator. First the omniscient narrator, then the direct observer, and finally the first person narrator. The first I used to provide insight, the second to achieve objectivity, and the last to create the idea that Ross' death is a personal affront and an even greater crime than it already is.