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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
This is sweet
Now, I don't want to be harsh, but a few tweeks,
'Im' should be 'I'm' or 'I am'
'Me' doesn't need a capital letter.
'i' , the the beginning, does need a capital letter.
'did'nt' should be 'didn't'
'shouldnt' should be shouldn't'
You just need to look over the placing on commas and full stops as well. It's these basic mistakes that make a good poem great. I know it seems silly, but trust me, you will see a big difference when the right grammar is used.
So keep working on it and I look forward to reading some more work of yours! Great concept though, it has good potential.
Hayley
P,S I LOVE the name Brooke
hehe thanks
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