It's been a while since;
You've spoken to me with your own voice,
Even if the words are crule.
It's been a while since;
You've touched me with your own skin,
Even if it was an accident.
It's been a while since;
You've listened to mee with open ears,
Even if my words don't reach you.
It's been a while since;
I broke your heart,
Even if you broke mine long before.
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138,271 Literary Works • 672,093 Reviews
This was truly heart pulling, despite that it's a bit on the short side the impact it made is big. It must feel like awful almost abandonment but maybe it's better because the person did break your heart before you broke theirs but I guess it sucks because in the end theirs two hearts broken but it's fixable. I really liked this! great write!
I liked this because I could really relate to it. Infact, it was scary how much I could relate to it. I love poems with emotion and this poem has alot of emotion and its one of the best I've read in a while. It made me smile. There was one little spelling mistake however
[quotcrule][/quote] is actually spelled cruel but apart from that no other errors apart from some of the word choice ypu repeated alot. Expand word choice.
So I really liked this, but there's a few quick things I'm gonna fix for you
Comments in blue edits are in red.
I changed the beginning of this line to "but" because you've already used the word "even" three times.Overall I really enjoyed this poem it flowed well and all the edits I made to me made the poem flow even better but it's your poem so you get to decide how it's written xD I liked how short this poem was but how strong the message was that you gave us. It was written simple but you are able to look at it in a complex way if you want. Normally love poems to me don't seem that appealing but I loved this! Great job!
Peace,
Snickerdooly
Hey! This poem was good!
It had good rhythm, good flow, and it shows feeling clearly, a little too clearly though. Try not to be so raw with your words, and leave a little room for interpretation. You can do this with adding more imagery, metaphor and bringing out inner thoughts with a little more narration and complexity, the complexity of which the situation clearly has. There were also a few gramatical errors, though I am sure they are just typos.
Anyways, these are just suggestions which you don't have to act upon. I really enjoyed the idea of this, and it's very good. It just needs a little tweeking, a little detail. Keep this in mind if you decide to edit. I hope I helped! Keep writing. ♥
Hi there!
This is a really great poem, I love it! You put a lot of emotion into this and that really made it stand out. I like the way you repeated the phrase 'it's been a while since'. It adds to the rhythm of the poem and it leaves the reader with something to remember. Your imagery is great and the poem flows well too. I honestly couldn't find anything that I would change about this.
Overall it's a great poem. Keep writing!