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E - Everyone


by BeeTeaDubs525

To life and its precariousness

Daily uncertainty, deathly indifference, and unwarranted hardships

To love and its ambiguosness

Lost love, unrequited heartbreak, and broken relationships

To hate and its pretentiousness

Warfare, damaged people, and misconceived worships

To insecurity and its loneliness

Self-doubt, inherent anxiety and masked pretenderships

To life and its loveliness

Miracles, abundant adventures, and valuable friendships

To love and its absoluteness

Family, undeniable lust, and admirable courtships

To hate and its abjectness

Compromise, lessons learned, and independence from dictatorships

To insecurity and its meticulousness

Internal growth, conquered fears, and surprising kinships

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111 Reviews

Points: 9075
Reviews: 111

Mon Jan 06, 2020 10:00 pm
tgham99 wrote a review...

I love the title and overarching theme of this poem. As @LZPianoGirl mentioned, I was expecting a poem about New Year's or perhaps something more related to commentary on ringing in 2020, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that you took a more serious, thought-provoking turn on this piece.

I particularly like your usage of the word "pretenderships" in the last line of the first stanza; I feel like it not only adheres to the lengthier structure of the every-other-line format you have going on, but it's a strong enough word to really emphasize the idea of falsehoods that we're "toasting" to.

I get the sense that this is a poem of mixed emotions: toasts/cheers are typically used in a celebratory fashion rather than a way of recognizing "insecurity" and "misconceived worships", which are negative aspects of one's personality. I like that you intertwine two very different feelings: ironic celebration and negativity, which contrast each other greatly.

Aside from changing "it's" to "its", I find no grammar or spelling errors within your poem, so great job! Wonderful poem and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it over a couple of times.

I feel like this poem has been well received! I spent a long while deliberating the proper words to maintain a good structure. I love the term %u2018ironic celebration%u2019. That really nailed my intent. I did an edit to fix my %u201Cit%u2019s%u201D error. That went right over my head! Thank you for taking the time to really delve into my poem. I appreciate the positive words of encouragement.

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90 Reviews

Points: 2768
Reviews: 90

Mon Jan 06, 2020 8:22 pm
LZPianoGirl wrote a review...

**My Thoughts**

Hey there! LZ here with a review! I did not expect as good of a poem when I clicked on this. Honestly, I expected something beer or New Years related. Overall, I really enjoyed this poem.

**Formatting and Grammar**

I didn't catch any mistakes when it came to formatting. It looked very clean and neat, making it easier to read. In grammar, I did catch one thing you did repeatedly. Take this line:

"To insecurity and it's meticulousness"

"It's" means "it is". So you're saying, "and it is meticulousness". Use "its" instead.

**Punctuation and Capitalization**

Your punctuation was fine. I didn't catch any mistakes. I liked how you used only commas and apostrophes, even though the apostrophes were part of a mistake. The same goes with capitalization.

**Quick Review**

Formatting was fine. Grammar was OK. Capitalization and Punctuation was fine.

Keep on writing and have a good 2020!

Thank you for taking a moment to leave some feedback! I have done an edit to correct my apostrophe errors. I let that slip right by me. When writing this poem, it hadn%u2019t even occurred to me it was around the New Year, so I understand how you would have had that impression. I%u2019m so glad you read it and helped fix the small problems. Thanks!

LZPianoGirl says...

You are very welcome!

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Points: 162
Reviews: 55

Mon Jan 06, 2020 6:50 am
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brookeallo wrote a review...

I really loved this poem. It was so well written and I liked how love and hate and all where described. There was very powerful word choice such as precariousness and unrequited heartbreak. The poem is very powerful and you can just feel how real it is. Thanks for writing I hope to review more from you soon.

Thank you. I%u2019m glad to hear you found the word choices powerful, as that was something I was definitely attempting to convey!

Lots of times you have to pretend to join a parade in which you're not really interested in order to get where you're going.
— Christopher Darlington Morley