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139,276 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
Hello, My Friend!
Pleasure to meet you! I'm Raven, and I'm here to review your work here! Hope you don't mind!
To start, wow, this was a really interesting piece! It reads as something incredibly poetic, the imagery it creates is powerful and beautiful, and the purpose does leave me wondering. Is this talking about the remains of a relationship gone sour, and the bitterness left between the people in question? Is it something more surface-level? Or is it something even more complex than either? Fascinating...
For recommendations on improvement, I can't think of much! Maybe just a grammar touchup, if anything? For one, capitalizing "I" when it's referring to the self? That's about it though!
The other thing that I really have to commend you on is not just the range of vocabulary, but how creative some of these lines are. "This bloated valley, beneath its martian carapace has severed the jugular of light." Ah! Nice ~
Overall, this was super cool! Nicely done!
"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.”
"I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty."