Life as a Leaf

Hello Flower, for I am new in this YWS, feel free to drop any comment if you find something unagreeable. or PM if wish to remain anonymous. or drop by and say hello, or a gift or... just don't send me a death threat. haha!

Never have I thought that I would read a story about a leaf. You have proven me wrong.

My favorite line would be "I hit the ground at about the same time my hopes did, and I cried." My head even imagines a loud silent thud when it hit the ground.

It is a strong message to all reader, that even if you are a king diagnosed with a deadly disease or a leaf waiting for the time to die. Famous quote: "Time waits for no man", but Times also waits for no leaf too.

It is impactful that you can write with just using a leaf to tell a message to the world about even how small people see you, only you yourself know how you feel.

However, I felt that it lacks description. Describing the fear and the surrounding that contribute/fuel on the suffering would be much more significant for awaiting death. Chilling winds, stomping feets, ants that invading your personal space or the feeling of lack of sun and constant dark would be great examples too.

All in all, I like this story because it tells another perspective of something we humans deem small.

~Wendy

Yo, Sofie here with a review!

Well, I definitely never thought I'd ever get emotional about a leaf, but here we are.

This was super heartfelt and something about the way you write is very sincere. That's a great quality to have!

"I wanted to be in the tree. I was made to be in the tree." I love this line because it just speaks to anyone who has ever felt out of place or like they've fallen into a place where they don't belong.

Also, the way you described the fear confusion is just personification at its finest. I don't really have any criticism. This was way darker and more complex than I thought it was going to be. Great Job! Hope to read more of your stuff soon.

Yo, AsTheFlowersGrow! I thought, after having read your short story featuring Satan, that I might want to look at another one of yours. And, to be honest, I'm impressed! This turned out to be a surprisingly morbid and dark story for a topic as innocuous and tiny as a falling leaf. After all, here is a perfectly innocent personification of a leaf, living a perfectly ordinary life, until they all fall off a tree and wither and decay, which is clearly not a pleasant (and perhaps not painless) process. Your descriptions to convey this relatively brief scene are equally haunting, particularly in the way that you communicated an overwhelming sense of fear and confusion without answers for it. Even the repetition serves to provide this effect - a simple word choice and the reiteration of fear and concern drives home the point out of this leaf's struggles and horror at their present situation. It's dramatic, effective, and evocative, and it's wonderful how you're able to communicate such sensations in a small story. So, when it comes to your major emotional development, plot, and character development, this story is consistent and fascinating.

On top of, you know, a little horrifying. To be honest, the inclusions of metaphors and comparisons that you do provide are relatively sparse, but meaningful and often strong, such as the persistent comparisons between the leaf and all the rest on the tree. "I hit the ground at about the same time my hopes did, and I cried," was among my favorite lines in the piece for this reason. Beyond that, there's something about the thought that the frail leaf is slowly being destroyed in view of the only world it has ever known, and all those it has ever known, while faced with the ever-present reality of being stamped upon or blown away or so forth. The sentience of that said leaf makes all of those situations far more dramatic than they would otherwise be. On the other hand, my major complaints with this piece is that the end of the first paragraph wasn't particularly strong. The repetition of "fall" didn't seem all that emotional, or strong enough - it lacked descriptions and the emotional baggage to convey the terror in those moments. In that sense, it was a little too quaint. Too, the piece as a whole doesn't include a lot of emotional moments. Those that do appear are particularly strong, but it would be nice to see a more well-developed picture of the leaf and its emotional state as it faces these situations. What are their surroundings like? What have they seen? How the leaf feel as it was unable to rise up, as it fell, unsure of where it would land or what would happen next?

Yet, all in all, this is a pretty fantastic story. It's surprisingly dark, a little complex, and tragic, and I enjoyed reading it from start to finish. I would like to comment that "On any given day, you can find me on a branch..." should probably be in a past tense; specifically, "You could've found me on a branch...," just because it's clear that's no longer the present situation, but what had been. Regardless, thanks for presenting this story - it was great!

This was absolutely amazing! You conveyed the emotions and events quite smoothly, and everything seemed to be in order and matched up well. That's what I find best in works, and this I must say is one of the better. Please keep up the good work! ^^

King here


I really like this! I said I will not write any more reviews but I just could not stop craving to review this. The simplicity is the best thing in this work and even if I do not like too short works, this one is better as a short one. I do not find a reason why it should be changed we are talking about lenght. I will edit the work below and show the parts I am not sure about or want to edit in bold. Questions are welcome and you do not need to accept my complains and opinion. Hope I help and also, I liked the fact that you used something so simple as a leaf on a tree. I do not know if it really has a deeper meaning but for me, it had, I felt like you do not mean to tell us this for the leaf only. This short story can be connected with many others things not only the season changings. But I like it that you use a small leaf to show change.



On this day; though, something felt different.(space)I took a breath, and I looked around.(space)When I did, I saw my friends, although we were no longer the same. I was changing colors. I grew confused because I was turning orange, and they were all still green. On one morning, just at sunrise, I began to fall to the ground. The lower I fell, the more scared I got. I fell and fell, but my friends were still on the tree.

I hit the ground at about the same time my hopes did, and I cried for because I couldn’t see a happy ending. What was I doing there on the ground? I wanted to be in the tree. I was made to be in the tree.

I couldn’t rise up, no matter how I tried. After a week of laying, I shriveled up into a brown, crunchy leaf. I still laid on the ground, looking upward at my friends. My friends were still on the tree, and they were still as green as a lucky four leaf clover while my color kept getting darker.

“Would they fall too, or would I continue to be alone?” I wondered. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be in the tree.