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The Spider Who Paid Rent

by ArctiWolf


I am excited to inform you that this now has a sequel. The link is below. Happy reading! 

Greg, a Tennessee Jumping Spider, lived in a little house out in the country, but close to civilization. However, he couldn't really appreciate that since he was, after all, a spider. There was certainly one thing that Greg was painfully aware of and that was paying the rent. Some of his buddies had laughed at his “nonsense”, but they all seemed to have disappeared one by one. His luck may have been fueled by his humans' fondness for jumping spiders in particular.

Whatever the case, Greg liked to say that he hadn't ever been kicked out of the house, or flushed down the toilet, or squashed and thrown away, due to his incredible rent-paying skills. In reality, it was probably his extraordinary ability to fit into small spaces and the fact that he seldom ventured into the humans' space. This habit was almost always broken once a week when it came time to pay the rent, which he always did. Greg would find abandoned pennies and always slipped them into, what he thought, was the humans' money holder. He found it quite comical that the humans sat on their money holder, a couch as they called it.

It was a whole endeavor for Greg to get the pennies he found to the couch, as they were, at the very least, four times his size. Greg would get especially giddy upon the finding of a dime.

“Ten weeks!” he would always exclaim, “Ten weeks of not having to drag the pennies to the couch!”

Sometimes he would mumble to himself about how lucky he was that he wouldn't have to worry about late payments due to his upcoming molting. On this particular week, Greg was becoming especially stressed, he hadn't found a single piece of change all week. Greg decided to take a risk and search the humans' living quarters late at night. Upon finding no misplaced objects he proceeded to check the vents. Much to his surprise, excitement, and loathing, Greg found a dime in the vent.

Greg was surprised because he had never found much change in the vent, it typically slid down the slick sharp incline. He was excited that he could finally stop worrying about paying the rent and for ten weeks! Greg however, was Loathing the long journey the coin would have to take to make it to the couch. He had to get it out of the vent and then all the way across to the opposite side of the house. If Greg was lucky, he could get the coin most of the way there before the humans even began to stir.

Greg began by wrapping the coin neatly in webbing, but not so much that he couldn't take it off upon delivery. Satisfied that the coin was secure, he began by attaching a line of webbing to one side of the coin. Then Greg proceeded to do the same for the other side, but higher. In this way, he spent an hour or two shimmying the coin up the vent without using much energy at all.

The truly hard part came when carrying the coin up to the ceiling, a tremendous effort for the small spider. Once there, Greg would attach a second piece of webbing to the coin making a funny-looking hammock of sorts. He repeated this process across the entire room. when Greg reached the doorway he realized that the door was now closed and that he would have to navigate the jungle humans called carpet. He was annoyed that he would have to undo his tidy wrapping but knew from experience that the webbing was nigh impossible to salvage after being dragged through the carpet.

The coin, released from its silky bondage, fell to the floor with a soft thump. Greg grumbled to himself and hoped that Terry the House Spider, who was slightly venomous, would be eradicated by the humans soon. The humans feared venomous things, which was one of the main causes for the humans' anxiety over spiders, not to mention how they never knew where Greg's kind would show up. Greg normally would not wish any kind of death from a human upon any spider, but that Terry got on his nerves. Terry stole Greg's food straight from his web even while he was sitting on it. Considering how big Terry was in comparison to the poor little jumping spider, it seemed there was nothing Greg could do about it.

Greg's biggest fear at the moment was that Terry would come out and steal his coin out of spite and keep it away from him. It was not an irrational fear, since Terry's size meant she could easily navigate the groups of carpet fibers while Greg struggled to keep himself from sinking to the bottom of the carpet. Thinking these thoughts, Greg pushed the dime under the door and continued on his way. However, to his great dismay, he realized that the humans were starting to stir. Greg tried to figure out why a human would be up at the moon's peak and figured it was going to get up and relieve itself, as only humans and their creatures do. Thankfully he still had a bit of time left before that happened.

While Greg had been in deep thought Terry had begun stalking him. Terry loved the feeling of lording over Greg and laughed to herself at how the little spider would cower. Being a female spider made Terry even bigger than she could have been and more of a threat to the humans. She was well aware of this and kept cover whenever possible, but her size was a disadvantage in this area. This made Terry envy and hate Greg all the more. She couldn't help but laugh a sinister laugh at how he was sitting on his precious little coin. This would be very enjoyable indeed.

When Greg finally noticed her, he jumped out of his skin. Terry was behind him and most certainly was going to take away his coin, if not his life. He quickly came up with a plan, as only Greg could, and scurried under the humans' bedroom door. Greg would come back for his coin later, in the meantime, it was best if Terry thought he didn't care much about it at all. Stage one of his plan was working as Terry had started chasing after Greg and lost all interest in his coin. Instead of running like Terry, Greg had decided his best hope of survival was jumping from fiber top to fiber top and even that left Terry dangerously close.

Greg heard one of the humans start to get up and jumped under the bathroom door as fast as his legs would carry him. On the other hand, Terry was oblivious, too occupied with her prey to notice anything else. Well, she was, until the bathroom door opened and the light was turned on. Terry froze as the human screamed, calling to the other who was still in bed. Greg saw his opportunity and scurried under the bathroom sink and watched through a crack next to the hinge.

What happened next was not shocking to Greg, this wasn't his first rodeo. The second human sort of flopped out of bed while the first human pointed to the floor mouthing to its companion in a language incomprehensible to Greg. He suddenly realized that the first human had placed something over Terry when he wasn't looking. The second human nodded, walked out of the room, and came back with a shoe. Greg was happy and sad at the same time. Happy that he would not have his food and coins constantly taken from him, and sad the someone of his species would have to die in that horrific way.

With a few stomps and a flush, Greg's nightmare was over and the first human relieved itself, turned off the lights, and closed the door. Greg waited a little while before coming out of hiding and scurrying back to his precious coin. To his great pleasure, Greg found it exactly the way he had left it, though he didn't understand what he had expected to happen to it while he was away. Greg shimmied the coin back up to the ceiling and made his way to the couch. The coin dropped unceremoniously onto it and Greg carefully tucked it under a cushion for safekeeping. Then he made his way back to the attic and found his dinner waiting for him for the first time in weeks.

Link to Sequel : Greg and The Wasps

Small Image of a Tennessee Jumping Spider:

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Slightly Larger Image of a Tennessee House Spider:

C06QV0EQY0KKBK4KOKXKTK5KNK5KHSXKJ0VQJ07KJ04KUKEQ10NQY0MKCK1QTKKKO05Q2KGQ30WQZSGKLSIKHS5KDK


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Thu Jun 17, 2021 5:27 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi ArctiWolf,



Mailice here with a short review! :D



I didn't think you could tell such a great and interesting story from the perspective of a spider. I really liked how you managed to portray the everyday hardships of the spider while also telling the story with some humour. Since I'm not such a big fan of spiders, I was even more surprised to see that Greg is actually quite nice looking. :D

What I really liked about your story is not only that it is original and unique in your way, but also that you manage to take a problem that is actually simple for humans and make it grand and complex for another creature. For example, I like how you manage to make Greg sympathetic through his action and character, even though the entire story has only one dialogue. You have visibly succeeded in personifying him and I am a little disappointed that this is only a short story. You have managed, through your descriptions, to portray a family home as something large and complex, which I think is very well done.

I didn't think I would put myself in Greg's shoes so much. Through your narration you really managed to get me excited about finding out more about spiders. :D I also like your writing style. I did get the impression a few times that parts of a subordinate clause would sometimes be better in their own sentence, but in general it was a great division and presentation.

Two points that stood out to me as I read:

Greg, a Tennessee Jumping Spider, lived in a little house out in the country, but close to civilization.


I think it's a good introduction. It starts very simply and the reader can use it to imagine things. I just think you should put the last part in a separate sentence, because the "but close to civilization" here sounds like it's being inserted quickly. In general, it's a really great introduction with a certain degree of humour and an interesting story so far.

He found it quite comical that the humans sat on their money holder, a couch as they called it.


I would try to describe it a bit differently here or add a second sentence because it reads - to me - a bit funny. Again, as with the first sentence, it feels a bit rushed in how you insert this "clarification/explanation".

I touched on this point briefly earlier, and I'm going a little deeper here: You have a few sentences where you give an extra piece of information, like what people call the object, or a mood of Greg's mind, but for the most part it reads like you added it in a hurry, and then gives the whole sentence an unappealing aftertaste. Especially in your quiet descriptions, it then comes across as a bit hectic. Because that's what I felt in your story, that there's a rush, even in the more exciting parts.

But that's only a small point, in the grand scheme of things, which was very original and great!

In summary, it was a very great story, presented in a funny way with an interesting undertone.


Have fun writing!



Mailice




ArctiWolf says...


Thanks so much for the advice! If you liked this one you might like the sequel, I even gave him some new buddies! Click here if your interested > Greg and The Wasps



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Thu Jun 17, 2021 3:12 pm
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FireEyes wrote a review...



Hello ArctiWolf! Congratulations on getting literary spotlight for this work. Incoming review!

If I'm being honest, I didn't think I'd like this story, but boy was I wrong. I loved Greg's little adventure and Terry's towering figure. I just think it's so creative for a spider to pay rent! Do the humans know he's paying rent? maybe that's how the change gets in our couches, by grateful spiders. And I think it's so cute how you chose for Greg to be a jumping spider. I personally think that jumping spiders are stinking adorable. C'mon, like Lucas the Spider. But Greg is just so about the rules and it's SO CUTE!! I also think that Greg's opinion towards Terry's "execution" shows a lot about Greg. While he's happy that he'll have no one stalking him anymore, he's a little bit pained that another one of his species is killed, when they do nothing wrong...mostly. And one other thing I have to commend you for is this line

Greg grumbled to himself and hoped that Terry the House Spider, who was slightly venomous, would be eradicated by the humans soon.
Thank you for using venomous and not poisonous. Both of those words mean, having toxins, but they are completely different in how they are dispersed. The way that I learned it is, "If you died biting it, its poison. If you died when it bit you, its venomous." That in particular is always a nitpick I have but I'm glad to see you used the proper word.

One critique I might have is to use different types of description words for your emotions. I only really noticed that you used "happy" a few more times than I thought was ""normal."" I couldn't really find anything else that needs critiquing, so good job!

In all, this story is so adorable. And thanks for the pictures at the end! Now I get to envision the terrifying, Terry. Looking forward to reading the sequel tomorrow! Keep writing!! Anyway byeeeeeeeeeee<3




ArctiWolf says...


The sequel is out so feel free to go check it out : Greg and The Wasps



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Wed Jun 16, 2021 3:03 pm
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VictoriaBarton says...



I loved this! The personification of a commonly feared creature into a shy, creative, kind one is simply brilliant.




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LittleLee wrote a review...



Sp-spid-AAAARGHHHHH

I wish I hadn't opened those images
Spiders are fine by me... as long as they keep a distance of about 1 kilometre.

Ahem. The review.

This story is really quite cute! It was quaint, well-written, and rather entertaining. It made for a wonderful light-hearted read. I even managed to enjoy it, despite what the narrator is. XD

Greg would find abandoned pennies and always slipped them into, what he thought, was the humans' money holder. He found it quite comical that the humans sat on their money holder, a couch as they called it.

Aww, this is so sweet :)

Greg decided to take a risk and late at night and searched the humans' living quarters.

The grammar here is a little messy, no? Could you rephrase it like this: "Greg decided to take a risk and search the humans' living quarters late at night."

Greg grumbled to himself and hoped that Terry the House Spider, who was slightly venomous, would be eradicated by the humans soon.

This is a little abrupt; before he wishes death upon a fellow spider, perhaps he could first mention why he dislikes her? You provided the reason a little after this. I suggest moving that ahead.

Greg immediately jumped out of his skin,

Could you instead say, "When Greg noticed her at last, he jumped out of his skin"?
Although when it comes to insects being being able to moult this can be taken in a whole, new, literal sense XDD

Well, she was, until the bathroom door opened and the light was turned on. Terry froze as the human screamed, calling to the other who was still in bed. Greg saw his opportunity and scurried under the bathroom sink and watched through a crack next to the hinge.

This is oddly descriptive; I could imagine everything quite clearly.

Then he made his way back to the attic and found his dinner waiting for him for the first time in weeks.

What a nice way to end the story!


I really loved reading this, I haven't had as much fun in ages. Reviewing it was my pleasure. I hope you write more short stories detailed the adventures of Greg and his fellow insects! I'd enjoy that immensely. :D

Have a good day and remember that you have the ability to make people smile! <3

~Lee




ArctiWolf says...


Thanks for pointing out:
"Greg decided to take a risk and late at night and searched the humans' living quarters."
It was one of the little things I managed not to catch, I rephrased it the way you put it as well. Thanks for the help!



ArctiWolf says...


I made a sequel, let me know if you like it as much.



LittleLee says...


I'll read it as soon as I can!



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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!! Also looks like you joined super recently so, a late welcome to YWS!! I hope you enjoy your time here!!

First Impression: Soo...this was a really interesting work. I'm definitely very impressed by how much you've managed to keep this very accurate to spider's doing things in real life and still build this entire world to sound super interesting from a spider's point of view.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Greg, a Tennessee Jumping Spider, lived in a little house out in the country, but close to civilization. However, he couldn't really appreciate that since he was, after all, a spider. There was certainly one thing that Greg was painfully aware of and that was paying the rent. Some of his buddies had laughed at his “nonsense”, but they all seemed to have disappeared one by one. His luck may have been fueled by his humans' fondness for jumping spiders in particular.


Hmm, well pretty good start here, it certainly managed to grab my attention here by the fact that the one who's taking here is in fact an actual spider, I've seen stories from the point of view of everything from dragons to rocks, but this is actually the first time I've seen something about a spider soo...there's also that.

And well, I also a bit of a tragedy right off the bat there, where his buddies, who I assume are also spiders have gone missing and I'm wondering if they're just been captured by humans or something worse.

The reference to him paying the rent there is a tiny bit confusing to me, but uhh perhaps its cause its just the first paragraph, so let's see as we go on here. :D

Whatever the case, Greg liked to say that he hadn't ever been kicked out of the house, or flushed down the toilet, or squashed and thrown away, due to his incredible rent-paying skills. In reality, it was probably his extraordinary ability to fit into small spaces and the fact that he seldom ventured into the humans' space. This habit was almost always broken once a week when it came time to pay the rent, which he always did. Greg would find abandoned pennies and always slipped them into, what he thought, was the humans' money holder. He found it quite comical that the humans sat on their money holder, a couch as they called it.


Hmm, ahh, well at this point things certainly start to make a lot more sense about what he means in saying that he pays rent. Perhaps just not mentioning that early part might be a good idea cause at that point, it just seems a bit random and confusing.

Anyway, moving past that, I loved the little touch of humor there in the first part of it, how he realizes what part of his skillset actually allows him to not be kicked out. And of course the fact that money is dumped all over the couch is another hilarious touch.

I
t was a whole endeavor for Greg to get the pennies he found to the couch, as they were, at the very least, four times his size. Greg would get especially giddy upon the finding of a dime.

“Ten weeks!” he would always exclaim, “Ten weeks of not having to drag the pennies to the couch!”


Hmm, well I'm no expert on spiders so I will take his word for it that he can carry that sort of thing. I do love the fact that you do reference this potential size issue there, it does help quite a bit with making us as a reader think that this is just that tiny bit more plausible.

Sometimes he would mumble to himself about how lucky he was that he wouldn't have to worry about late payments due to his upcoming molting. On this particular week, Greg was becoming especially stressed, he hadn't found a single piece of change all week. Greg decided to take a risk and late at night and searched the humans' living quarters. Upon finding no misplaced objects he proceeded to check the vents. Much to his surprise, excitement, and loathing, Greg found a dime in the vent.


Oooh, we're getting the main part of the story itself I see, we've moved on from introducing greg to some actual plot. And hmm, right away this sounds pretty exciting, well let's see where this ends up taking us.

Greg was surprised because he had never found much change in the vent, it typically slid down the slick sharp incline. He was excited that he could finally stop worrying about paying the rent and for ten weeks! Greg however, was Loathing the long journey the coin would have to take to make it to the couch. He had to get it out of the vent and then all the way across to the opposite side of the house. If Greg was lucky, he could get the coin most of the way there before the humans even began to stir.


Hmm, considering how big normal spiders are, that does seem like it would quite far for a spider to have to drag something. I do like he doesn't want to give up here, he certainly appears confident that he will be able to pull this off.

Greg began by wrapping the coin neatly in webbing, but not so much that he couldn't take it off upon delivery. Satisfied that the coin was secure, he began by attaching a line of webbing to one side of the coin. Then Greg proceeded to do the same for the other side, but higher. In this way, he spent an hour or two shimmying the coin up the vent without using much energy at all.


Hmm, alright, this is certainly very interesting, to see how his webbing is used here. I think as far as I know, spiders do have to types of webbing, one which is sticky, and one which is not so sticky, so this sort of thing really does check out. And well, Greg is off on his journey. :D

The truly hard part came when carrying the coin up to the ceiling, a tremendous effort for the small spider. Once there, Greg would attach a second piece of webbing to the coin making a funny-looking hammock of sorts. He repeated this process across the entire room. when Greg reached the doorway he realized that the door was now closed and that he would have to navigate the jungle humans called carpet. He was annoyed that he would have to undo his tidy wrapping but knew from experience that the webbing was nigh impossible to salvage after being dragged through the carpet.


I never thought I would be seriously cheering on a spider trying to drag a coin somewhere but ahh, the way you've written this certainly has me doing so. I really love that you manage to bring across how these individual challenges would feel like as a spider, you certainly seem to have put a whole lot of thought into this and so far I am loving this.

The coin, released from its silky bondage, fell to the floor with a soft thump. Greg grumbled to himself and hoped that Terry the House Spider, who was slightly venomous, would be eradicated by the humans soon. The humans feared venomous things, which was one of the main causes for the humans' anxiety over spiders, not to mention how they never knew where Greg's kind would show up. Greg normally would not wish any kind of death from a human upon any spider, but that Terry got on his nerves. Terry stole Greg's food straight from his web even while he was sitting on it. Considering how big Terry was in comparison to the poor little jumping spider, it seemed there was nothing Greg could do about it.


Hmm, well Terry does sound like someone that would cause some problems to poor Greg here. And speaking for the humans, I can say that poisonous spiders are certainly the type of spider you want to chase out the house. And this particular spider does seem to be a bit of a bully too.

Greg's biggest fear at the moment was that Terry would come out and steal his coin out of spite and keep it away from him. It was not an irrational fear, since Terry's size meant she could easily navigate the groups of carpet fibers while Greg struggled to keep himself from sinking to the bottom of the carpet. Thinking these thoughts, Greg pushed the dime under the door and continued on his way. However, to his great dismay, he realized that the humans were starting to stir. Greg tried to figure out why a human would be up at the moon's peak and figured it was going to get up and relieve itself, as only humans and their creatures do. Thankfully he still had a bit of time left before that happened.


Oh nooo...the humans are awake, and also....ahh I love how the spider's size is also coming into play to show these challenges here, you really have put a lot of thought in this and its just awesome to read. Now one just teeny weeny nitpick is perhaps...carpet fibers....I feel like Greg might not call them by that particular name, it doesn't sound like the sort of name you can pick up humans randomly calling things...and I feel like he wouldn't know to call them by name, but rather have his won name. But ehh, maybe I'm overthinking this one.

While Greg had been in deep thought Terry had begun stalking him. Terry loved the feeling of lording over Greg and laughed to herself at how the little spider would cower. Being a female spider made Terry even bigger than she could have been and more of a threat to the humans. She was well aware of this and kept cover whenever possible, but her size was a disadvantage in this area. This made Terry envy and hate Greg all the more. She couldn't help but laugh a sinister laugh at how he was sitting on his precious little coin. This would be very enjoyable indeed.


Ahh, well this was a tiny bit sudden, I kinda had to read this twice to realize the POV had switched from Greg to Terry, but I think that might just be me not paying enough attention, so I don't thinks its a huge issue. And seeing Terry's thoughts in this case is certainly quite nice, to really get a perspective of what she thinks and well it looks like Greg was quite correct about her being a bit of a bully.

Greg immediately jumped out of his skin, Terry was behind him and most certainly was going to take away his coin, if not his life. He quickly came up with a plan, as only Greg could, and scurried under the humans' bedroom door. Greg would come back for his coin later, in the meantime, it was best if Terry thought he didn't care much about it at all. Stage one of his plan was working as Terry had started chasing after Greg and lost all interest in his coin. Instead of running like Terry, Greg had decided his best hope of survival was jumping from fiber top to fiber top and even that left Terry dangerously close.


Hmm, well this is quite the intense chase sequence, and well, I've certainly seen jumping spiders do that across the carpet while large spiders just sorta run so ahh, this is so accurate to how this might happen in real life while also sounding like some sort of epic chase sequence from an action film. The true best of both worlds. :D

Greg heard one of the humans start to get up and jumped under the bathroom door as fast as his legs would carry him. Terry, on the other hand, was oblivious, too occupied with her prey to notice anything else. Well, she was, until the bathroom door opened and the light was turned on. Terry froze as the human screamed, calling to the other who was still in bed. Greg saw his opportunity and scurried under the bathroom sink and watched through a crack next to the hinge.


Oh dear, humans screaming at the sight of a spider usually is very bad for the spider. And well I kinda don't want to feel bad for Terry considering she was a bit evil but ahh at the same time....I hope they only chase her away and not do anything else.

What happened next was not shocking to Greg, this wasn't his first rodeo. The second human sort of flopped out of bed while the first human pointed to the floor mouthing to its companion in a language incomprehensible to Greg. He suddenly realized that the first human had placed something over Terry when he wasn't looking. The second human nodded, walked out of the room, and came back with a shoe. Greg was happy and sad at the same time. Happy that he would not have his food and coins constantly taken from him, and sad the someone of his species would have to die in that horrific way.


Oh noo....the worst did in fact happen...well, I can understand greg's feelings there, on one hand it wasn't a good spider, but on the other hand it was a life lost in what has to be a very painful way.

With a few stomps and a flush, Greg's nightmare was over and the first human relieved itself, turned off the lights, and closed the door. Greg waited a little while before coming out of hiding and scurrying back to his precious coin. To his great pleasure, Greg found it exactly the way he had left it, though he didn't understand what he had expected to happen to it while he was away. Greg shimmied the coin back up to the ceiling and made his way to the couch. The coin dropped unceremoniously onto it and Greg carefully tucked it under a cushion for safekeeping. Then he made his way back to the attic and found his dinner waiting for him for the first time in weeks.


Ahh, well, it ends well for our friendly little spider. Well, this was indeed a pretty good ending that you've got tagged on here. :D It feels like a "They lived happily ever after" style and I've always loved those.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, this was a pretty cool little story that you've got here and I certainly enjoyed the read. :D Keep on writing more awesome things.

Oh also if you want to add images directly to the work there, I think there's an option for it in the publishing center, or you can use one of the very helpful codes found on The Big Book of YWS Codes . :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




ArctiWolf says...


Thank you so much.
If you were wondering why the images were placed like that it's because they are relevant, but technically not part of the story. In order to prevent any kind of Copywrite issues on other sites, I just put the links to the photos below.
Anyways thanks for the support, and I'll try to see if I can come up with any more insect featured stories. However, my next post will actually be an older short story from when I had a bit of a Sci-Fi kick.



HarryHardy says...


You're Welcome!!! :D




If it wasn't for poetry, I couldn't express myself.
— Rosendorn