Young Writers Society

'I stood there shaking,breaking.' - you missed the space after the comma.

'mrs. Hutson' - This should be a capital 'M' and it's 'Hudson'.

'I'm nothing with out you.' - 'without' is one word.


First of all, I would just like to say: I was at a Q&A with Rainbow Rowell (new york times bestseller) and she said Johnlock was her OTP and that it's cannon.

Anyway, ow this hurt so much! I got so furious at Sherlock for not taking John's feelings into account when he ... did the thing. Let's not mention that. I like the last line because it reminds me of John's limp before he met Sherlock and how Sherlock filled a big gap in his life.

I would have liked a mention of Mary but if this is before he met her, then that's fair enough.

Well done!

Hello there, fellow Sherlockian, and happy review day!

Let's start with what I liked.

Even though I don't really ship Johnlock too much (just a little bit), I think that this was a cute poem, and it was ambitious of you to write poetry as fanfiction. I applaud you on that.

Now, for what I didn't like as much.

There's just not that much emotion put into it. Yes, we all know that John is devastated over Sherlock's "death", but why don't you show us that? As magpie said, this seems fairly generic. You could have John crying into his sheets at night, having hallucinations, hearing Sherlock talking to him wherever he goes. That would bring much more emotion to it. Also, this is pretty straightforward. It doesn't use much figurative language. Similes, metaphors, imagery. All those things are very important in making a poem a poem. Otherwise, it's just prose divided up into lines.

Overall, it's a cute fandom poem, and I enjoyed reading it. I just think it could use some improvement. Keep on writing!

As soon as I saw the title I had to come read this! Now you've given me feels, so thankyou.
It's a good thing that I have feels though, because it shows that the poem has captured the Johnlock moments and the feelings associated with them.

So I was going to get to the tedious task of correcting a few little things but I've been beaten to it. But apart from those little bits, it's a perfect fandom poem. I sugget you put it on Tumblr! It flowed well and you got the details right. So well done!

Hello, AnimeGirl!

So here's a disclaimer: I am not an expert at reviewing fanfiction. If I say something that doesn't go along with it, please feel free to disregard that piece of advice.

First, I'm going to go through and correct your grammar and punctuation.

You left me, I watched you fall.

You lay there unmoving,
I stood there shaking,breaking.

Even mrs. Hutson moved on before me,

The only one who still thinks on you,

I'm nothing with out you.