z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Stay

by Angels-Symphony


I swallow tea as a way to inject myself with warmth. The plane is cold, air conditioning nipping at my bare ankles. I am alone with no one beside me nor in front of me. I wish I could talk to you, though I don’t know what I’d say or what we would talk about. I have no words for you anymore, only feelings. Ones that hesitate from translating themselves into actions for fear of rejection. All I want is to hear your voice, feel your embrace. I want it to last more than a few awkward, ephemeral seconds in my residence hall hallway or on a busy New York City street corner before you break away to fulfill your obligations.

I used to find reasons not to love you, but now I strive to find reasons you can’t love me. But as much as I try to imagine you outright rejecting me, tossing our friendship aside for the liberties that come with being single or for another girl who offers you stringless, emotionless but lust-quenching sex, I can’t. I know I only want that because it would make it easier for me.

Loving you is not easy, Alex. You say relationships are simple, but not with you, not with us. We are each complicated and complex with jagged edges, and we will never fully fit together. Still, we’re held together, bound by some mysterious force or entity that’s probably laughing at how tricky and unsolvable of a puzzle he’s given us.

Is it that easy? I like you, you like me? Could it possibly be that easy? Am I just overcomplicating this whole thing because I try to be practical about love and want to avoid the inevitable danger and chaos that lie ahead if I choose to pursue this? Or perhaps is it that, deep down, I don’t believe that anyone can love me as more than a close friend or that unattainable girl they admire specifically because she will never return their affection?

I am partially afraid to love back because I am fully aware of the novelty of my charm. I am a dream, something to hope and strive for because doing so will make you feel alive. Feel purpose. Feel anything.

I am a poison sleep deprived, thought-stricken boys swallow because they’d prefer to die in a daze with the sweet taste of sugar lingering on the tips of their tongues if forced to choose. 

I am danger. I am mystery.

I am a girl.

Everything you love about me lies in my feminine mystique. You’re dying to figure me out, to control me through some form of understanding.

But you can’t.

I am wild and reckless and free. I speak my mind without fear of consequence, but I also choose to shroud myself with shadows whenever it suits me. I am consistently inconsistent. One moment I will burn you with the raw fire of my affection, the next I fade away so fast you will barely remember a flame was even there.

A few hours ago I thought that by being honest with you I would give away my secret - my most desirable quality. Now I realize that no matter how honest or unfiltered I am with you I will never be able to give that secret away.

I am changing. Every day, every moment. To be with me you have to learn to be flexible, otherwise the depth and transformative tendency of my character will bend you over and break you.

Alex, in the three years that I have known you you have not learned to bend, but you also have not broken. You are cracked, worn at the edges, and exhausted. But somehow you’re still here. And to me, that’s all that counts. 


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52 Reviews


Points: 297
Reviews: 52

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Mon Aug 11, 2014 4:02 am
HiImAndy wrote a review...



I couldn't find anything wrong with this piece, I enjoyed every word. I am a girl so I understand the thoughts that occur when a relationship surfaces and how crazy times can be during a relationship. I don't know if Alex is real but if he's around after all the craziness he's definitely a keeper and things will work out perfectly so there's no need to worry. I realize I didn't exactly review this I just have a helpers mind and love to give my input whenever.




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58 Reviews


Points: 4569
Reviews: 58

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Sun Aug 10, 2014 4:48 pm
jessiethought wrote a review...



This is excellent. No obvious, glaring red flags jump out at me from this piece--no horrific grammar, no awkward sentence constructions, nothing that I really have to complain about. Your paragraphs are well structured, and the short one-line paragraphs add a bit of diversity to your writing style. Your writing is good. Your conclusion is satisfying--concrete, not trite, and at the same time open-ended.

The only suggestion I have is to write more. I really think you've hit the nail on the head here with the emotional and mental tangle the narrator is caught up in (whether that narrator is you or no). What would really make this piece remarkable and memorable, I believe, is if you continued writing.

The relationship the two characters have here intrigues me. I want to know more. How do they interact? How did their relationship begin? I'd really love to hear more details.

I know you classified this as other, but I feel like this could make a great short story with a little more plot woven in. If this is just your way to get your feelings out, that's fine. You don't have to change anything at all! This is good as it is. I just see a great foundation for a short story in this, that's all.

Please continue writing and sharing with us on YWS!

~ jessiethought ~





“Can a magician kill a man by magic?” Lord Wellington asked Strange. Strange frowned. He seemed to dislike the question. “I suppose a magician might,” he admitted, “but a gentleman never could.”
— Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell