Part 1
Kate made her way through the throng of people gathered at the party- dressed in their best clothing and gossiping about things that were none of their business - pushing through the oak paneled doors leading to the balcony. Kate stood there letting the dainty breeze caress her face while painful memories clouded her mind. It had not been easy. Taking her father’s place after his untimely death. After all she was only 24 years old. Too young to shoulder the responsibilities of the vast empire her father had left behind. Yet, she managed to keep her composure.
But somewhere along the way she had lost a bit of herself. She was not the same girl anymore. The one who used to hum while she her beautiful slender fingers painted the most beautiful of things, capturing the sheer essence of it all. Her smile had ebbed off, leaving a trace of laugh lines to indicate if she ever laughed at all.
Kate needed a friend. Someone who would make her shed those poisonous tears she had bottled inside her.
Just then she heard the doors open and she straightened herself, erasing any sign that showed she was tired of everything.
“Hi.” The voice was soft and full of concern.
Oh great! Someone has noticed my absence and has come here with the absurd notion of helping me!
“Hey, I just came to get some fresh air; it was getting pretty crowded inside. I was just returning,” she replied without turning.
She turned then, saw Ian and relaxed. Kate was first introduced to Ian at one of her father’s parties where every socialite was present. Their fathers were friends. Ian was in fact a very important figure himself. They had worked on many projects together.
As he looked into her turquoise eyes arched beneath winged black eyebrows, he saw the merry girl he used to know.
“You look like you’ll collapse any moment,” he said, trying to lighten her mood.
A faint smile touched her rosy lips, as she replied, “And you look as horrible as ever.”
That was not true in the least. In fact, he looked handsome as usual. A gentleman all decked up in a black Armani suit, tall, with jet black-eyes and a heart-melting smile on his sculpted face.
“So, want to go out for dinner tomorrow?” Ian said, a grin tugging at his lips.
“Sorry, but I have some work.”
“Okay, I’ll pick you up at 7.”
“But…” she trailed off knowing it was pointless to argue with him, and also because she was simply too tired.
“That’s what I thought,” he said, grinning.
Even though she didn’t let on, Kate was glad to be going with Ian. He had a charm that put her to ease in spite of everything. Time grew wings that day, and she came home with little as an hour left for him to arrive. She decided to dress simply for the evening. Kate let her hair fall in waves around her shoulder and wore a white dress that trailed a little below her knees.
Ian arrived exactly at 7 with a bouquet of her favorite flowers, orchids. He remembered. He was mesmerized as he saw her coming down the stairs, looking like an angel. Their eyes met and she smiled, the smile reaching her eyes.
Kate on the other hand was awed by his aura and the sudden changes in her mood whenever she saw him.
As he handed her the flowers, he said, “You look beautiful.”
“Thank You.”
Ian extended his hand and said, “Shall we?”
She took his hand and nodded.
A/N: This story might have flaws and if anyone wants to make any suggestions, it will be highly appreciated. But this was written during a 'moment' so please keep the criticism at a minimum. Thank You. Hope you enjoy it.
While reading your piece, it conveyed to me a light and a calm atmosphere. Then, a touch of care and concern with sweetness unknowingly shown because it comes out naturally from them. Thus, deeper feelings are yet to arise.. Leaving us with -- "What happens next?"
The story is cute..
Keep going..
ll
U
Hi Angel. ^^ I am so sorry this review is so late. But finally I am here. 
Just to warn you, I am a little out of practice, so please bear with me.
Firstly, I will start with your syntax. Throughout most of the chapter, your syntax is alright. Though, I noticed a few run on sentences in the first paragraph.
Kate made her way through the throng of people gathered at the party- dressed in their best clothing and gossiping about things that were none of their business - pushing through the oak paneled doors leading to the balcony.
If you have any questions or comments about this review, please pm me. Keep writing and best of luck~bluewaterlily.Hey Angel 
I have only a few nitpicks to share with you, which is surprising for someone like me
First, in the first paragraph;
Hey Angelorchid,
I'd like to talk a bit about story-psychology with regard to this piece. You write very well in that the way you form sentences and put words together on the page is great. There's even a bit of wordplay in your descriptions, the lovely sound of "awed by his aura" is particularly nice. But let's look at something quite different -- let's look at why people write.
In my opinion, when it comes to fiction, stories are all about conflict. If there's no conflict then books can get a bit boring. Imagine how Lord of the Rings would be if Frodo was just able to get a taxi to Mordor, drop The Ring into the fires of Mount Doom and then be back in time for dinner... It wouldn't be nearly the same! One of the reasons we like stories so much is because the encapsulate human struggle and readers can sympathise with the characters.
So, now in relation to your piece, we are reading the story of Kate. Unfortunately most of Kate's conflict happens "off screen" if you like -- it sort of happens without the reader seeing it directly. Her dad has died (a major event in anyone's life, especially for someone so young) and she feels lost and alone. Then she meets a wonderful boy...
... Now this could be an ideal moment for more conflict and struggle. Maybe Ian already has a girlfriend, or is too shy to ask her out on a date, or maybe he's just not interested in her immediately. It seems that it's almost too easy for Kate. She spots this guy that she has a bit of a crush on and suddenly it turns out that he's the perfect gentleman and there's no conflict at all.
In my experience with love, I don't think it ever comes quite that easily. Even with my Girlfriend (who is just as hopelessly romantic as me) it took some effort and persistence form both of us in order to even start the relationship. It's never as easy as it is in your mind.
So if readers want something to sympathise with, perhaps you could make it a little more difficult for Ian and Kate as well. It doesn't have to be conflict with each other, it might be conflict with their friends or just sheer circumstances that make things difficult. Perhaps Ian lives a long way away and can only visit a few times per year. Perhaps they have a mutual friend who has her eyes set on Ian and Kate doesn't want to upset her. Who knows!
There are lots of ways to introduce conflict to this story. From the way you write I'm sure that you're capable of it, and I think that with your writing style it would be great to see you move forward with this. Take care and happy writing.
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