Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
I am ashamed
I am afraid
They’ll think I’m crazy
That I’ve gone insane
I belong in the looney bin!
But no
This is not the case
I simply needed help
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All this mental talk
From my peers, my instructors
Even my parents, and my sister…
I cannot make it known
If I do, how would they take it?
I’m a freak?
I’m a psycho?
Please try to understand…
I simply needed help
-------------------------------------------
We talk about my life
At school, at church, at home
My relationships and their impact
We talk about how my mental health is becoming
But I cannot tell them
Because they think we talk of not-so-good things
Like drugs, and suicide
But guys…
I simply needed help
-------------------------------------------
All this talk has my head spinning round
But keeping this secret is not the way to go
Because I look around me and notice
Others are struggling too
So I will take a step to normalize
To stop this negative talk
To normalize this topic
To show we should not be afraid
You cannot make me feel bad about it
I SIMPLY NEEDED HELP
-------------------------------------------
Yes, I go to therapy,
So does she, and her, and him
And you may be set on believing we’re CrAzY
But we’re not
That’s not the case
I hope one day you’ll look back and realize
What we’ve been saying all along
We’re normal people just like you…
We simply needed help.
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Hi! I'm coming in with a review for this great poem
Happy RevMo!
First of all, I love how this poem is destigmatizing therapy and getting help. I commend you for that, because it really gets the message across nicely. There are a few things I would change, but of course this is all up to you in the end.
First, I feel like the connotation of the term “looney bin” sounds a bit more funny or lighthearted, which doesn’t really fit with the tone of the poem. From what I can tell, you’re trying to make a serious message about destigmatizing mental health help, but “looney bin” kind of takes you out of it. It made me stop and wonder if that was the right word choice. You also use an exclamation mark at the end of that line, too, so it seems like it’s supposed to be humor but it doesn’t fit with the rest of the poem.
The same goes for how you spelled “crazy”, as Century mentioned. If you want to say that calling the narrator crazy is stupid, quotation marks would overall fit better.
This is overall such a good poem, and it really made me think about how we demonize going to therapy. The way you phrase the repeated lines at the end of the stanzas--”simply needed help”--shows getting help for what it is: Simple. Some people need help, and that’s simple. I think you got that across really clearly. You also gave me a lot of empathy for the narrator, which is a talent. Bravo! 👏
Hello, andy! century here to review this wonderful poem using my own melancholia induced by my lack of self method! Let's dive in.
first impressions
immediately, i noticed that you used shorter lines, in bursts. like you're pleading/crying out, trying to tell someone that you just need a little help. which, i think, is beautiful.
italicizing the phrase "i simply needed help" over and over created a really nice repetition in my eyes, and as you got further in the poem you ended up capitalizing it and bolding it, which i found really emphasized how you were speaking.
i feel like these stanzas all vary drastically however. 1 & 2 feel very odd whem next to 3 & 4 & 5. Although, I guess it could be seen as explaining why you needed help, instead of crying out for it.
compliments
i really enjoyed this poem! i do believe that we need to remove stigma surrounding therapy, as it can actually be really helpful for some people.
i loved the last 2 stanzas. "I SIMPLY NEEDED HELP" and "We simply needed help." were a stark contrast to the others. The 1st one felt like a final call. a final scream for someone to listen. but they don't. and that leads you to the 2nd one, which is formatted less like a seperate part from the stanza and more like it was the thing you had been trying to say, but nobody heard until then.
critiques/room for improvement
i feel as if this poem is not meant to be as light-hearted as it comes across. i.e "CrAzY". You could, instead, utilize quotation marks.
of course, this is all a stylistic choice, and it's ultimately up to you.
final notes
i really loved this poem, and how it slowly destigmatizes therapy. i feel like i should read more of your works now :3
~Don't stop writing!~
-Century