Young Writers Society

Howdy!

This was quite a good poem! My best compliment is that it felt real. The scenario and feelings were something almost anyone can relate to, and sometimes that can be really hard to put into words. But you did it! And you did it quite beautifully.

I really enjoyed the first two stanzas, those two felt very poetic, while the later ones felt more down to earth and real, kinda like they were directly doing through someones head.

I don't know how to make this much better, so ill just say you did a great job!

Have a nice day/night!

Hi!!

Dropping for a quick review here! I want to start out by saying that really liked your poem, it's short, sweet, genuine and very realistic. I can really visualise everything well which is amazing because it truly is very succinct. I like the refrain at the start of (most of the) verses, it's very casual which is a lovely contrast for how serious the feelings actually are, which is again very realistic because in conversations everybody usually tries to downplay their crushes.

However, I do have a few suggestions, (it's all my opinion and I'm not really that knowledgeable when it comes to poetry so feel free to ignore what I'm about to say)

There's this boy

He probably doesn't know I exist

I sit behind him in classes

And it pains me

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I want to say something

Tell him how I feel

But I can’t muster the courage to

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I want to talk to him

But embarrassment isn't an option

And if he doesn't like me I couldn't handle it

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There's this boy

He probably doesn't know I exist

I sit behind him in classes

And it pains me,

I want to say something

Tell him how I feel

But I can’t muster the courage to,

I want to talk to him

But embarrassment isn't an option

And if he doesn't like me I couldn't handle it

There's this boy…

He must be tired

As he runs through my mind all day

He never leaves my head

There's this boy…

He must be tired

As he runs through my mind all day

He never leaves my head

It's very simple and sweet, I like it! There are a few parts that are a bit cliché but that's alright! From the few times I've had crushes this feels very spot on! I really like the imagery and it paints a very vivid picture. Over all I like it and your a very good writer.

I'm going to be honest here and say that I clicked on this for the points, because who doesn't? But I love poems like this!

I can relate. There's this girl I like but she doesn't love me back. Except we are close friends and very aware of each other's feelings. Perhaps you should try to talk to him? It'll get you very far! Confessing your feelings to him might not be the best idea, but the smartest thing you can do is try to be friends. Of course, there are other facts such as him being the popular kid and you not so much, I've had that happen to me before too. So if that's the case, maybe not approach him like, "let's be friends!" But maybe comment on something you have in common? Who knows, a whole conversation might stem from there! Anywho, I hope things work out for you, and have a good day!