Shipwrecked Love

Hi, I'm firepen. This is a very short poem! But short is good. Just in 4 lines, you tell a whole story and really make the reader think! You leave a lot of details out and I would love to know more, perhaps you would write a little bit more?! Also, I'm not sure whether this is intentional or not but the whole poem is in the centre of the page and I love this! I hope this help and if you would like any more help, please ask!

Short and sweet. Absolutely loved this. Sometimes the simplest poems are the ones that turn out to be the best, and this is one of them. Just one suggestions: add a period after seas. The rest of it seemed to use punctuation, so you should probably have a period there to finish the sentence.

Hi-ya!!! First off-love your title--it made me really want to click on this & read it over a few times to dig deep and really find the core of it's meaning(at least from my eyes).

"The shattered remains of a shipwrecked love (the way you compare a broken heart to a wrecked ship is actually very brilliant. One would think a ship would be worthless in pieces, but with the right craftsman who truly has a passion- or the right someone that you were meant to be with--relate isn't impossible)
Drift lost in rough grey seas. (the image of dispair makes the ending all the more worth it)
You pick up the pieces, warm as the sun. (warm in the sea??? Logically no- but I see what you mean)
And kindly hand them back to me.". (the good Samaritan!!! Love it!!!)

Brilliantly wrote! Short yet vividly and simply intense!! Keep those creative juices flowing!!

I saw the title and expected some long-drawn out poem...
But, when I read what you wrote here, I was impressed!
Your simplicity here is beautiful, and I love the extended metaphor that you've used.
Contrary to what someone said above, I believe the poem flows together very well if you read it with the right beat.
You're quite talented, keep up the good work! I hope to read more killer poems like this from you in the future.
: )

Short and Sweet! This is gorgeous! It flowed wonderfully, and I loved the idea. Keep it up!

I like this piece a lot. Even though it's so short, it's unique and I love the imagery and metaphor. I think that Shipwrecked Love might be too long a title for such a short piece, but that's just me and I don't have any ideas for what you could change it to. I don't think the last line has as much flow as the others. I think if you took out the "back" it would have more flow. Though that's just me, and it still has flow, just not as much as it could have, I think. Great poem!
-tgirly

Thank you, thegillaingill. I used the comma instead of 'as' as it just didn't sound quite right. I will definitely add in that full stop!
Thanks for the advice,
AmiiLightwood

Howdy there!

This is really good.

Just one thing I'd say is you've put in one comma throughout the whole of your poem and no full stops. As a reader that is confusing as technically the sentence never ends so you either want to take out your comma, or include full punctuation.

Overall though I love the flow of your poem and it is short but sweet!

Well done!

Really sweet piece, Love the carried out metaphore.
It really is beautifully written!

loveing this Amiilightwood