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139,585 Literary Works • 672,611 Reviews
We all have that feeling of remorse when we are at both our highest and lowest peaks. I'd reccomend working on the flow a little bit more; but there is an overall presence of feeling in it. I enjoyed it. Not wordy by the way. It's juuuuuust right.
That's a great poem! Well done!
However, I think the beginning of the 3rd stanza doesn't flow as nicely as the others.
''But yet, had I have said what I did not
Would you now be to me who you are?''
So maybe you could think of different ways to word it?
Apart from that I love the originality and the questions within the poem, I feel it really grabs our attention!
Keep it up!
This is a really good piece of writing and it's a decent piece of free verse. =]
No, it's not too wordy. I don't think a poem can be too wordy as long as the feeling and point get across.
I think you are talented and you should post some more poetry. =] I'll be reading some of your other work too. =]
Good job.
-pol;