Just something short and quick that I wrote for fun on Fighter's Block (A game meant to help with writer's block. It's pretty fun- you should check it out if you're have trouble writing). I don't usually write goofy stuff like this, but I enjoyed writing it! Let me know what you think.
Also, the characters and places are from the game.
~
A pale, dark-haired mage made her way through the darkness of the Blocky Forest. Short and green-eyed, Red had a clever, mischievous look about her.
Now, she had traded her typical impish grin for an annoyed frown.
She cursed as her ruby-colored cloak got caught on a thistle- causing her to stumble. Muttering under her breath, she pulled it free- hoping it hadn't left a hole.
No such luck. She glanced down to see a tiny tear in the fabric.
"Arrgh!" she exclaimed. "I know it fits the whole monster theme, but what's with all these freaking thorns?!"
Suddenly, there was a rustling in the branches ahead. Red immediately fell silent, her grip on the glowing green mage's staff tightening in anticipation.
Here it was- the beast she'd spent the last few weeks hunting down. The beast, so infamous that the stories had traveled hundreds of miles from the nearby tiny, stick-and-mud hunting village to her own lands and her lovely hometown of Somewhereshire.
A large, dark shape appeared in the mist and entered into the light of the mage's staff, it was-
An... egg?
"What the flip is this?" Red said incredulously.
"How rude," whined a snobbish voice. The voice seemed to echo from the gnarled trees surrounding them. That magic trick would have been quite mysterious and intimidating if the voice itself wasn't so prissy-sounding.
Red inspected the carnivorous beast she had been hunting for so long.
Now that it was closer, she could see that it was indeed an oblong or egg-like shape. Draped in a thin midnight-blue veil with golden tassels (which looked more tacky than mysterious), it floated an inch above a knotted mass of tree roots.
Its surface emitted a light blue glow, and a single gummy, red eye blinked open in the center of the oblong and glared at Red.
She couldn't help it- she snickered.
"What are you laughing at, imbecile?" the oblong's voice boomed from around them.
"Oh- oh, I'm sorry," said Red between giggles. "I was just expecting something... different. Scarier? The stories mentioned something ten feet tall- with claws!"
Before the oblong could react, Red stopped laughing long enough to finish what she was saying. "Anyways- I certainly wasn't expecting a giant blue egg in a lady's scarf!"
If the oblong had a face, it would probably be red with anger and embarassment. Instead, its big gummy, red eye rolled around.
"That's enough, mage! I am not an EGG- I am called Not-A-Block, and all shall fear my wrath!"
It added in a wounded tone, "And it's not a lady's scarf! It's an oracle's enchanting cloth. I bought it from this wizard at a great price-" The blue light blinked suddenly. "Argh! Why am I wasting time talking to you, silly little mage! Get out of my way! I'm going to destroy that pesky village."
Red lifted her staff. "No thanks! I spent three weeks traveling to get to this ugly little wood and I'm not leaving until I defeat the beast..."
"Even if you are just an egg in a lady's scarf," she added with a mischievous grin.
Not-A-Block hovered, its great red eye rolling angrily.
"That's the last straw, mage!"
The egg's eye began to glow a bright blood-red, and lightning crackled around it. The low buzzing of electricity filled the air.
Red swiftly brought up her staff and shouted a spell. Just in time, a ghostly blue shield erected itself around her and blocked Not-A-Block's magic attack. A shaft of blinding white lightning hit Red's shield and bounced off into the air harmlessly. The light left a fuzzy red after-image in her vision whenever she blinked.
"That all you got, you big fat egg?" she shouted.
Not-A-Block's growl resounded through the clearing.
It began to glow again, and Red could tell it was preparing to shoot more lightning at her. Before it could get the chance, she ran forward and swung her staff in an arc. A wave of sharp green shards materialized in the air and flew towards Not-A-Block.
The oblong rolled in mid-air and dodged the magic shards. It began to roll towards Red, its surface glowing brighter than ever and the tassels whipping back and forth as it approached her.
With a jab of panic, Red jumped to the side and managed to avoid getting crushed. She stumbled over a tree root- "Those FREAKING ROOTS!"- and fell into a thornbush.
"Ouch, oww!"
Luckily, her red cloak had shielded her arms and face from the thorns. She unclipped it and sprang to her feet, leaving the cloak hopelessly tangled in thorns.
Not-A-Block laughed gleefully, then boomed, "All shall know the name of Not-A-"
Red swung her staff again, letting loose another barrage of jagged green shards. This time, the oblong was so busy gloating that it wasn't prepared. Turning just in time to see the projectiles flying towards it, its big red eye widened.
"Nooooo-!"
The egg-shaped monster was hit by Red's magic attack and shattered. Like the fancy porcelain vase Red had pushed over as a toddler, Not-A-Block broke into a million glittering pieces. The pieces fell to the ground in a heap, along with the tasseled midnight-blue veil.
Red walked over to the monster's remains and poked through the cloth with her staff- just to make sure the thing was dead. She suddenly felt something wriggle under the veil, and something very small and very angry climbed out from underneath the broken pieces.
It was an ugly, blue chick with one fat, gummy red eye. It squeaked angrily, then stumbled off into the dark woods in an attempt to regain some dignity.
"What do you know? You really were an egg."
Red laughed, picked her tattered cloak from the thornbushes, and turned to leave. She had ended the egg's tyranny and turned it into a harmless chick- her work here was done.
"On to the next adventure," Red said to herself.
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