Chapter three: Chains (Flash fiction)

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well, here goes an epic fight scene finally, and well, I do love how quickly it happened, it gives a sense of how powerful this dude is although it does kind of sell all those powerful demons short too, that's the other side of the coin, that's a balance you want to look out for when figuring how OP someone should be. At any rate, things finally going up for the humans, so that's a good sign.

Anyway let's get right to it,

"Nolsten reports. He's here", I say into the phone, and my interlocutor immediately turns down.

We might just now have one year of peace. It is him, the Savior's student. His back is slightly curved, he doesn't look strong at all. What else is strange is his whole body is covered with cloth. His face- scarfed, his master's mask placed on top of his head. He wears black gloves, and up to knee boots, a soldier uniform and a single shoulderplate.

Emperor Mordecai stands up, furious, looking up to the man slowly descending, levitating towards the center of the arena. Everyone holds their breaths in anticipation.

One of the killer demons takes action, carrying one-handed sword made of sand-colored crystal.

"Get out of here. It is too late to sign in now. Wait for the next year, mortal."

The Scarf-man finally touches the ground. Then he dissapears. Then he appears behind the Killer demon, his fist impaling through his stomach.

The demon spits dark-blue blood and then he dissolves together with his weapon into the ground.

Champions of humanity look like puppies next to the Scarf-man. Emperor and the remaining Killer, as well as greenskinned demon and even Doctor Steelarm all enter the arena.

Scarf-man kneels down. Finally, the ground opens and red-glowing chains from hell emerge, pressing the demon company helpless. The Mordecai looks frightened.

I have witnessed something great, though I have no idea exactly what.

"One year of freedom", he says, then he vanished to nothingness.

Hey there. I'm here to drop a review.

First, I like the concept of the story. I went back to read the preceding entries and I've got to say, I think I like this chapter the best out of all the others so far. I am curious as to when he'd get his master back, but I think I'd rather enjoy his acts of heroism first for now. I'd also like to say that this work of yours makes me think of video games. An example of what type would be the iOS game "Infinity Blade". That's the general vibe I get from reading it. Putting all that aside, I'd like to share things I've found weird.

I believe Kanome got most of it, but I'd like to add this, "One of the killer demons takes action, carrying one-handed sword made of sand-colored crystal." I believe you missed adding "a" in between "carrying" and "one-handed". Another thing that seemed odd to me was the sentence "The Mordecai looks frightened." I can't quite put a finger my finger on it, but reading it made me feel a little awkward. Maybe you could rephrase this somehow?

Overall, I could see that there is a solid plot that only needs polishing for it to stand out. Do your best. Good luck!

Is this the series ending? Please say no.

Hello ..
Kanome here with a review for you.

Okay, this chapter is where everything becomes intense.
I can see this story has potential, and I believe it will become even better if you continue this story.

Onto nitpicks ..

We might just now have one year of peace. It is him, the Savior's student. His back is slightly curved; he doesn't look strong at all. What else is strange is his whole body is covered with cloth. His face- scarfed, his master's mask placed on top of his head. He wears black gloves, and up to knee boots. Soldier uniform and a single shoulder plate.

"One year of freedom", he says, then he suddenly disappeared.