I light a cigar as I walk towards my home. A cigar! I have a year to smoke the pain away.
I stop under a street light. I raise my thin arms and watch the smoke twist around my fingers. Could have I been a bit stronger, somehow? After all, those guys like Red Beret, Blackglasses and Dimiel are humans too. Yet. they all seem to have exceeded the boundaries of our fragile bodies.
Not enough to defeat the demons, though.
All I could do is gather money to buy a ticket to a 10th, and watch them fight for our freedom or die trying. Though the greenskin demon let Dimiel live four times; it seems like their kind does have some compassion. It became a fabled rivalry during those four long years.
I continue the slow paced walk towards my home. This slums that we live in are dirty, full of pests and stinky, but it is the home I learned to love. But now, we have one year of freedom to prosper. Maybe I can find a more comfortable place for my self too.
"Do you wish to learn how to fight?" a rash voice speaks to me. I can feel hair over my body raising. I know I had already heard that voice somewhere.
I turn behind to see Scarf Man. Yellow light shines from under the cloth, where his eyes should be. I can feel a strange atmosphere growing around him, crawling toward me. It gives me a rush of encouragement and fearlessness. I look towards my weak arms once again...
...and I can feel my eyes glowing like they never did before.
"Could you teach me?"
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140,885 Literary Works • 673,697 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Alright, well an interesting point for this story to come to an end, although I have no idea if perhaps this actually ended or was abandoned. If it did end here though, this is actually strangely fitting...for a very short flash fiction novella of sorts. Or even just a big short story.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Okay...looks like we've got ourselves a bit of a lost of fighters on behalf of the humans written down right there...certainly seem like a few tough folks there...and we are now in some sort of much more normal setting here so that's interesting, this seems quite different to the places the other parts started in.
Okay...that's a good little bit of history there, having everything sort of put into the perspective of this person who's not a fighter but simply has to watch it all happen...and its interesting see things like those rivalries and compassion...definitely adding a bit more detail to the worldbuilding here and that just makes it that much better to read.
Hmm, well one year doesn't really seem like much at all when it comes to the prosperity of a whole race but perhaps these guys have learned to be a bit more efficient considering freedom for them is in quite short supply.
Well...I have a feeling I know who that is, and well, judging by the title, I believe this is the one we met earlier that considers himself a weakling, and it appears he's about to be taught how to be the next champion of earth here.
Okay...wow, that's cool, almost seems like this Scarf Man dude is about to transfer some power to this other person, and it seems like they've chosen a student perhaps their judging by the context of what's going on here...at any rate, a cool point to end on here....almost giving the impression this might be a cycle going forward.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, this whole few parts have made for quite an interesting read. There's definitely quite a lot of worldbuilding here that I just loved, and the story itself was pretty good too. Aaand well, that's all I've gotta say here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Okay, I'm back to give you another review! First things first, here are some grammar mistakes:
"Could have I been a bit stronger, somehow?" I believe the better way to write this is:
"Could I have been a bit stronger, somehow?" (I merely swapped two words).
"After all, those guys like Red Beret, Blackglasses and Dimiel are humans too. Yet. they all seem to have exceeded the boundaries of our fragile bodies." Perhaps you could've written it this way:
"After all, those guys like Red Beret, Blackglasses and Dimiel are humans too, yet, they all seem to have exceeded the boundaries of our fragile bodies."
Some other sentences are fine, though seems somewhat awkward, like this: "Yellow light shines from under the cloth, where his eyes should be." There might be a better way of phrasing that.
I like how the plot is moving to something aside from battles. It seems like the time Scarf Man would become the master is at hand. Just polish it up more and I'm sure it'd be better. Good luck!