Note: This was just an experiment. "Habibiti" means "my love" in Arabic. It's a phrase said from a man to a woman. Therefore, I decided to write a poem from a man's point of view, I guess. I'm not sure where I was going with this. I may just delete it later. But I decided to post in for the meantime. Critical assessment of this work would be GRACIOUSLY appreciated!!!
Habibiti,
you are the glowing embers of passion that dance in my eyes;
A dream within a dream, I've so long adored you--
To you, no one dare compare.
Habibiti,
your hands soothe the aches of a hard, long day;
sweeping swiftly and softly over my shoulders and down my back--
you bring me such comfort, always.
Habibiti,
your laugh rings out like a song of doves;
gently and musically, filling my soul with happiness--
your smile captivates me.
Habibiti,
our life together is so precious;
without you I couldn't possibily be whole--
you are my one and only.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
hey!
i like your experiment and i like those people who are trying to establish themselves as an inventor in this field. your work touched my inner soul, i felt so happy after reading your beautiful and mellifluous stuff. i loved your starting, you started well with "habitti" which is sounding good and congratz for the success of your experiment.
good job! keep writing! keep experimenting!
Hi there! I definitely did not expect to see anything about Arabic. But this was a pleasant surprise. I always like to learn words in other languages so I like how this poem provided the chance for that.
Anyway, this is very sweet. Not only that, but the imagery and descriptions were spot on. Some of my favorites were "You are the glowing embers of passion that dance in my eyes"
"Gently and musically filling my soul with happiness"
"Your smile captivates me"
Those were so beautiful and creative and they both made the poem a wonderful read. Thanks for sharing this.
It's wonderful to hear your praise! "Habibiti" is something a man says to a woman. If you are interested in impressing a man, you would say "Habibi" which is something a woman says to her boyfriend, fiance, or husband
Thanks again for your praise! If you are interested in learning Arabic, feel free to message me 
HELLO!
Its Charley here to give you a review!
This is great, I love how you used another language! 'Habibiti' sounds so cool.
You did an amazing job at this, it's exceptional I believe!
"you are the glowing embers of passion that dance in my eyes;"
I love this sentence, there is just so much description, its telling us what he feel towards the woman, just in one little sentence it tells us how much love he has for her and how much he admires her.
"our laugh rings out like a song of doves;
gently and musically, filling my soul with happiness--
your smile captivates me."
This sentence just says that he notices the little things about her, which in a relationship is so beautiful, I love when a guy notices something that no-one else would ever notice, it makes me really happy and feel liked/loved. It was great!
No complaints at all from me, it was really good, the name drew me in because it's very unique, loved it!
Keep up the good work love, I hope to see more stuff like this
xx
-ItsCharley.