Life isn't just a dream,
It is love. crazy, it may seem
You and i feel it
Either a lot or a little bit
A song once said
"You'll be dead,
Once you fall for someone
So, all you've got to do is run,
Ain't it such fun
They'll fall out of love with you."
If it were you, i wouldn't be blue
Because i am for you and you're for me too
I'm good to go and fall in love
Because you're as wise as a dove
L-o-v-e
I love you and you love me
It is basic logic baby
Coincidences keep happening lately
So it might be l-o-v-e
My feelings cannot hide honestly
You might have some too, just a maybe
----
We're exchange midnight calls,
Talking and talking in the halls
Our little dates at the malls
Baby, let's see who first falls
I like playing hard to get
Ever since we've met
I have a plan that is set
I will tell you now
That loving you is a vow
You and i, i have felt it
And not just a bit
'Cause it's l-o-v-e
I love you and you love me
It is basic logic baby
Coincidences keep happening lately
So it might be l-o-v-e
My feelings cannot hide honestly
You might have some too, just a maybe
----
You are l-o-v-e
You are perfect for me
And that is crazy
You aren't a maybe
You aren't a never
I will keep you in my heart forever and ever
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
I L-O-V-E this song. I'm a songwriter/musician myself and I was just humming and singing this to try work out how it might go. In my head, it goes to the tune of 'Love and Truth' by Mother Mother somehow.
It's delightfully lighthearted and playful, with a very catchy chorus and structure. It feels so chatty and casual that it almost feels like a conversation or even a diary entry.
It feels youthful and optimistic about love, rather than serious or dark like a lot of love songs can become.
I L-O-V-E this line. It's just so, fun?? I can't even think how to describe it.
haha thank you!! i L-O-V-E the pun too
Hi AkuRashomon! Incoming review!
These lines are so cute. Like looking into the life of the one singing the song. It feels personal because while these actions can be done by anyone, its the way its directed to the person already in the know that makes it feel like the song was written for *someone*. Its comparable to a hug. We've all hugged someone, but with that special someone, a hug hits different, has a different meaning. You captured that in those couple lines.I love it when we have songs in the green room. There's something so fun about playing with rhythm and rhyme. Let's dive in!
I usually start with constructive criticism.
Taking into consideration that this is a song, I can't quite tell what the beats are intended to be. But in reading your work, there seems to be a little bit of messiness with the syllables and how they flow. Of course, that can all be remedied with the melody fitting it all in, but it's always something to think about. Don't be afraid to play around with wording or changing lines to make them flow well and make sense!
I'm also a little thrown off by how one verse uses AA BB CC and switches to DDD EEE before going back to two rhyming words. I think this happens in the second verse too but in different spots. Songwriting doesn't have to be consistent, but it would be helpful if I knew how the song went. I guess what I'm basically saying is that I wish I had a version of the song so I know what works and what might need work in context of what you intended XD
Okay, on to what I enjoyed!
I would usually crave more creativity in a work, but there's such charm to how simply you worded and executed things. It's like you love this person so much that to state it plainly is the most effective form of reassurance.
The spelling aspect of the song is fun, too. It reminds me of L-O-V-E by Nat King Cole. I love that song.
And lastly I loved the ending.
The line "you aren't a maybe" really stuck out to me. You see the potential in your relationship with someone, it's only a matter of time before it happens. The only thing in between the two of you is time. And time will always continue, so all you have to do is wait. At least that's what I got out of it.
Well this was a great work, thank you for sharing. I hope you enjoyed the review and got something out of it. Have a great day/night and I'll see you next time. Anyway byeeeeeeee
this song is so cute!! gives me 2016 bieber vibes
i don't have any feedback honestly, i love it. if you've made a recording or composed chords, i'd love to see them cuz i really wanna play this for myself
love, ash
Uhhhh... Can I know, have you composed any chords for this? Or a progression? I play guitar, and this is super cute
omgie, I'll just PM you the chords for it and the progression^^
Omg thank you so much