Life of a wordsmith
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With the first ray of the sun,
Rises his body and his spirit.
He lives on milk and bread,
No one to love or listen.
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His house is a mere, feeble piece of art and legacy,
Cracked walls and room scattered with crumbled pages,
Each telling a different story of frustration and failure,
His clothes stained with the black ink of despair.
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His neighbours call him names,
‘Crazy’ , ’ introvert’ , ‘lunatic’ and sometimes a ‘demon’.
He’s consumed in observing the activities of a passerby,
Once a mother, another a lover or a priest on his way to the parish.
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Restless days , nights drenched in hope,
Hope , for arrival of a guest,
Hope, of expressing himself before the world,
Hope, to find love ,
Hope, of becoming a writer………
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,828 Reviews
Hey there!
You insert too many spaces in unnecessary areas. Don't.
Anyway, the first stanza is just beautiful, you have expressed the poem perfectly, will done. The second stanza is good, but negatives :
Mere and feeble don't go well together. You should have left it at "merely".
Again, unnecessary gaps everywhere.
The last two lines are AMAZING, those are my favourite lines in the whole poem!!!
Next stanza.
"A" demon - nope, doesn't work here. Read it out to yourself.
When you're quoting something, you use this symbol " , not '. Get it?
I don't understand the next two lines. Please elaborate!
Last stanza.
"Hope, for arrival of a guest"... Why does he hope for the arrival of a great? It may sound good, but it needs to sound good AND make sense.
Second last line - add an "a", making it "hope, to find a love". Of course, it makes sense even if you don't add it.
That's it! I hope you found my review useful, and I'm sorry if it seemed to be too critical!
Thank u for reading my poem and your review is really useful
Really? You're welcome!
Really? You're welcome!
A very well-written description of an utter failure at becoming a writer. Perhaps it is good advice for those who are totally bereft of talent and fancy themselves to be the next Isaac Asimov or Shakespeare if they just persist long enough despite the shower of rejection slips and negative criticisms. Not much I can offer in the way of advice since there isn't any technical flaw that I can detect. Good job!
Thank you!!!